Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Being in character.
I got to pretend to be … let’s call her Ms. [B], for a good chunk of this week, and this gave me a really good sense of what it is like to be her.
So then everything I was working on happened through the filter of her, and that gave me some much needed distance/perspective/insight.
Also it turns out she has no qualms about all kinds of things that I have ALL THE QUALMS about. None whatsoever. So that was liberating and cool.
Knowing what I wanted.
I was really clear about what I wanted. I asked Danielle if she wanted too. She did. And then everything worked and we made it happen.
Making everything into a spy game.
Secret codes for the secret codes.
Everything is an op. Everything stands for something. Everything is silly. Everything gets a ridiculous and vaguely-but-confusingly-sexy name. Operation Four On The Floor commencing at 19:00 hours. Who’s the contact? Our man in Zurich.
This is how I got everything done this week and made all the not-fun things fun to boot.
Next time I might…
Remember that being in character is really intense…
You know how when you invent a character, it’s somehow always astonishing to realize that they are suddenly their own people, making their own choices? Right.
A lot of what I processed through being Ms. [B] was INTENSE. She has access to an entire range of emotional states that I don’t really know about. She loves hard, feels deeply and … yeah, intensity!
I know she was working through some things for me (also a lot of things From Then), and I think it would help to have more time/space/acknowledgment for that.
Collect 8-letter words.
The more of these at my disposal the better. Especially if they are sexy or odd or fun to say.
(Suggestions welcome! Into the pot!)
P.L.E.A.S.U.R.E. already is an eight letter word, yes, I know.
Plan for solstice ahead of time.
See also: almanac of Havi Bell.
- Working on the weekend.
- Sleeping through dance class every day.
- Waking up at four a.m.
- It’s cold! And dark!
- Havis need to bounce outside. And when it is too cold and dark to bounce outside, Havis get all Eeyore about it.
- Fake Beach Day was headachey. I stayed at home, which was not good. Too much energy and needing to disperse it.
- Too many things.
- Marisa is gone.
- Ugh the news. Ugh social media. Ugh why can’t everything come with trigger warnings.
- Sore muscles.
- Ridiculous requests.
- People forgetting things I’ve taught them.
- Six more weeks until I’m off to VICARAGE!
- The secret benefactor of my head/heart.
- Getting Things Done. Including the final 2% on The Big Iguana Of Stuck.
- A five day playdate with my playmate that was nothing short of spectacular. We played, in character, from Saturday night until Thursday morning.
- Getting to be Ms. B. and feeling all of her (complicated and fascinating) feelings.
- Lusciousness. Pleasure. Presence.
- A third secret compass.
- Quickie goodbye visit with Marisa for all the hugs. No really. All of them.
- The rededication ceremony at Stompopolis.
- Foyle’s War.
- I set up the thing that I was scared to set up.
- I have dates for the vicarage.
- A present. Just for me!
- Writing playdate with banjo accompaniment and much laughter.
- Operation Schmurphy Tango! Dear god how I love being a pretend spy.
- All the monster coloring and negotiating paid off with a massive epiphany that changes everything.
- I remembered to pause, and that was the exact right thing to do. Not everything requires a response!
- Six more weeks until I’m off to VICARAGE!
- I loved this week. Heart heart heart heart heart.
- Danielle and I ran away together and now we are at the beach and everything is better because of this.
A superpower I had this week…
Remembering that nothing is wasted. No, really.
At the time it seemed like I was just screwing around, messing up my life, doing one dead-end thing after another. But from where I stand now, it looks like I was following a treasure map. Lining things up. Adding skills.
And guess what? All the things that are happening right now that feel like a waste of time… they’re part of the treasure map for the next thing. This is exciting.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of being (thanks, Steven!) benevolently unpredictable.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is from Kyle, who is so great that he also gave me imaginary glitter spraypaint:
Agile Triple Negative
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Take the class on Time.
That’s all I will say for now about that.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.