Friday chickenWhere I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

It’s Friday!

Somehow. Hi.

What worked?

Tiny changes that are actually big changes.

I suddenly remembered again that transforming space (internal or external, doesn’t matter) changes everything.

And then I was able to let small changes become big changes.

Found a new (but it’s actually old, I’ve had this for years!) cover for the couch in my kitchen, and now everything is beautiful! And red!

Gave everything at the Playground a new home.

Got rid of clothing that is not fun to wear.

Remembered to breathe COURAGE and radiate COURAGE.

And everything started changing. It was incredible.

What’s extra-funny is that this was the actually the theme of my secret proxy project from my Crossing the Line retreat.


Yet again, flowers made everything better this week.

When things stopped working, I added flowers.

There will be magical voyages! It is decided.

I had to go to the DMV and I did not want to go to the DMV.

So I used the wonderful thing that is renaming everything, and now DMV stands for Department of Magical Voyages. If you’re in Europe and wondering what I’m talking about, the DMV is actually the Department of Motor Vehicles.

I did not actually think that magical or voyage-ey things would happen there, but it was a way to play.

On the way I looked for clews. And found one!

And then while I was there I told everyone there about we were there for magical voyages because look it’s the department of magical voyages, and then they helped me look for clews. Except for the ones who thought I was crazy. They left me alone. Which was also good.

And then! GET THIS. An actual magical/unlikely thing happened.

I told the man working there about the magical voyages and he was delighted. And then blah blah paperwork-paperwork. Until it turned out that they had raised the cost of the thing I was there to do and I was one dollar short.

And then he gave me a dollar. From his pocket.

A person, who works at the DMV, a place where people are known for being horrible, went out of his way, way out of his way, to help me, because I was there for a magical voyage. This is blowing my mind. I would like cheering and general excitement!

Next time I might…

I want to build in more recovery time.

I said this last week and I will probably keep saying it forever.

Remember (sooner) that Nothing Is Wrong. Everything is okay.

Whenever I remembered this, things were good.

Whenever I forgot this, things were tense.

Tell people about stuff that is for sale, silly.

I forgot to tell the list about the Gwish Kit, and now we’re almost out and I have to find out if there is a way we can order more (if that’s even possible?) because I feel bad.

And all the monsters are going on about how I always forget to tell people things and how it should have been on a stupid checklist, doom, everyone will hate me.

But monsters aside (I talked things out with them, they just want me to be adored but they forget to tell me nicely), I seriously need to remember to tell people things.

The hard.

  • Fear. Fear and sadness. Stuff about THEN and how hard it was THEN, and ways that now is reminding me of then even though yes, of course, now is not then.
  • People I love are far away.
  • My friend that is yoga and I stopped talking to each other for a few days and we were distant and I missed my friend.
  • Pain.
  • Lost my notebook! Sadface mouse Havi.
  • Waiting in lines.
  • That thing that happens in winter when I get so tired that I can’t think of anything but sleep but then I can’t bear to nap because I WILL MISS OUT ON ALL THE DAYLIGHT FOREVER.
  • The end of a friendship. Throughout these hard weeks of trying to clear up the misunderstanding, I held out hope that we would be able to bridge this. And while this person has agreed to a more calm, amicable solution, there is so much mutual sadness and disappointment, and we are going separate ways.
  • Being offered an olive branch but not trusting it.
  • Reconfiguring. Everything changes.
  • Making changes.
  • Saying goodbyes.
  • Not able to talk about the goodbyes yet.
  • Things unresolved.
  • Things not yet done.
  • People I care about deep in anxiety.
  • Gaza. Be’er Sheva. The whole damn thing. My heart my heart my heart.

The good.

  • Yoga came back to me and I came back to yoga and we were never really apart.
  • I have a playmate and we play and play and play with words. With all the words.
  • Lots of big decorative and design changes at the Playground: everything is moving and shifting, and it is the right time for this and it feels really good.
  • Baked potatoes. Warm wintry stews.
  • I got the response to the hardest letter, and while it wasn’t what I wanted, it also wasn’t the thing I was afraid would happen. It’s over, and over is good.
  • Yoga by candlelight next to the fireplace.
  • The following sentence: “I am going to serenade the pants right off you.”
  • Slowly-slowly-slowly starting to feel like a gazelle again. Able to dance again.
  • My missing notebook! It returned to me! Incredible.
  • Rewrote the shop page.
  • Reconfigured the shiva nata website. This was much more hard than good but it was important and needed to be done, so I want ALL THE POINTS for doing it..
  • Had a long talk with my favorite uncle and he understood about all the hard things and everything was better.
  • THE GWISH KIT! I am enthralled with this year’s Gwish Kit. Full-on adoration.
  • On Wednesday I woke up and I wanted to be doing again. That was amazing. I mean, doing stuff was amazing, but *wanting* to be doing. I have been waiting for this.
  • I wrote a blog post. Ha. See, monsters?
  • I got this app called Paperless because Briana recommended it, and ohmygod I am so crazy in love with it. Head over heels. Paperless + Havi forever. I am carving hearts into the internet. You guys! <3
  • Thursday was Puttering Day, and Puttering Day was exactly what I needed.
  • Small changes turned into big changes.
  • I had a big realization/understanding/idea and it is a very promising one.
  • Did a thing that I promised (months ago!) that I would do for slightly future me, and it felt really good.
  • Presence. And courage.


A superpower I had this week…

The superpower of All That Is Mine Comes Back To Me.

The superpower of Incremental Progress. Remembering that steps matter. Tiny mini-incrementlets count too. I lost this one for a few days and then I remembered it again.

And a superpower I want next week.

The superpower of remembering about fractal flowers, and activating them by thinking about them!

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band comes to you courtesy of … my monsters.

It’s called:

This Is A Disaster.

They’re loud and break stuff, and they also have a couple slow ballads in there somewhere if you wait long enough.

Though, of course, yes. Yes. As it turns out, it’s really just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Picture me wearing that crazy hat

Seriously. Get the Gwish Kit. The Gwish Kit! I recommend.

Eventually I will maybe write some copy about why this is a big deal. In the meantime, go see the Gwish Kit. It’s right here.

That’s it for me …

Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!

We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.