In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I am often baffled that it’s already Friday but this week it really somehow strikes me as extra astonishing. Did two days just go missing?
Did I sleep through a chunk of the week? I do not know.
The hard stuff
So I was really into my new plan of Friday Is Puttering Day!
And I am still really into it, but today I had what seems like a hundred meetings. And they had to happen today for various reasons but right now I just want to complain about this.
This week went by way too fast. Way way way too fast.
This is not okay.
I looked forward to something for months and did a lot of work to make it happen and it was supposed to happen on Saturday and I thought it was happening, and then, due to circumstances beyond my control, it turned out that it can’t actually happen.
I don’t want to talk about this other than to register that I feel sad about it.
I want a community.
Going to the not-right place for Rosh HaShana reminded me again of wanting my tribe of fun jew-positive people to do holidays with, and not having this yet.
Recovery from Rally.
Oh, right. That’s where this week went.
Rally is amazing. Integrating the big changes that happens: that is a process. A welcome one. And also one that takes time.
Forgiveness is exhausting.
Mmm. That’s another reason for why this week disappeared.
I did a lot of difficult emotional processing and then I slept. A lot.
Supportive thing didn’t work out.
Something that was designed to help me with my work and make things easier is actually making them harder.
I am not a systems person. I am really good with vision and I am really good with culture and I am really good with making stuff happen.
But systems. This week we got hung up on systems and there wasn’t anyone who could help.
Tough meeting with business mentor.
I’ll take a silent retreat on this one.
Fun thing that I wasn’t expecting appeared, only to be canceled.
There is a person I adore who shows up in my life suddenly and unexpectedly, and begins to unravels things. But/and! This person is trouble! And also very very fun.
So. This person. This person blew into town unannounced, declared it beer night (this is part of the tradition), and then suddenly had to leave before I got to see them.
It’s there and then it isn’t there. And when it’s not there, you get used to it not being there. But when it’s almost there….
Anticipation. My favorite and least favorite drug.
The good stuff
All-day playdate with my playmate.
Possibly the best way ever to come back down from Rally.
Danielle and I went to the Pacific ocean and napped in the sun.
I didn’t bring my phone, which was marvelous.
I wrote all day.
And did Tashlich. I threw all of the things I am done with into the ocean in the form of breadcrumbs, and everything was absolved and everything was better. And the ocean made me a promise.
I forgave all the people from then.
Everyone that when I think about them I think “they can die in a fire” got attention. No fires. I’m done with fires. They can go have a picnic in a meadow. They can bustle around the village.
I still don’t have to like them or want to see them, but I am done being angry. It all went into the ocean and what came out was truth and love.
Stones return. Lots of things return.
Sometimes you think that a thing is gone and will never be back.
But sometimes it does come back. And sometimes you get a second chance and even a third chance.
This week there were do-overs. And I feel grateful and appreciative.
Working with athletes.
Ran a private training for an injured star, and we are doing magic, you guys!
This is something I want to be doing more of. And I want it to be exactly this much fun.
Getting stuff done.
Big important stuff.
I went to bed at 8:30 more than once this week.
So much sleeping.
Happy body. And putting it first.
Dance and yoga and shiva nata (oh dear god the epiphanies this week!) and walking and stretching and moving and bouncing.
It feels like we’ve jumped up a level or two in terms of strength, agility and endurance.
All I want to do is move and play. Gazelle state. Happiness.
My playmate and I play so well together. It’s ridiculous.
I have all the smiles.
Something to look forward to.
Friends coming to visit.
This roller derby season has been a roller coaster of crazy!
And now it’s finally Western Regionals, and I am so excited I can hardly stand it.
This is going to be my entire weekend. And I am going to lose my voice. And we are going to Atlanta for Championships, and we are going to kill it. You heard it here.
I feel good right now.
There are a lot of beautiful little things to smile about.
And I am remembering to smile about them.
Feeling content more often than not.
And you are here. And I like that. Thank you for keeping me company on this 217th Friday in a row.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band:
I can’t tell you much about them other than that they kind of look like robots.
And, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
I am going to recommend the monster manual & coloring book this week again.
It is that good. I use the stuff in here all the time. And it works. This is most of why this week wasn’t a total nightmare of a disaster for me.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.