In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Deep exhalation. Hi.
Okay. This was one of those weeks where the good and the hard were pretty much the same. Lots of overlap.
Which is, itself, kind of good.
At least, in the sense that this means there were good aspects or outcomes to all the challenging bits.
But in the venn diagram of hard-good, most of what happened this week falls smack-dab in the center.
I can’t tell you more than that. Though I probably could if I’d already written the Chicken. :)
The hard stuff
Working too hard. Needing more help.
Too many gigantic projects.
Really really feeling the gap where full-time positions need to go.
And I don’t know how to solve this one yet. And I’m feeling very wary about opening up a full-time Partner in Crime position again.
Visiting all the old places.
Going to the place where I used to do Drunk Pirate Council every Thursday with the First Mate until that went very, very sour.
And I semi-accidentally ended up at the place of Havi’s Most Important Ritual, the one that died a sad sad death this summer, on the SAME DAY that the ritual used to happen and more or less at the same time.
All the old haunts, except that they are different and I am different.
Not enough sleep.
Tired Havi is not a happy Havi.
Well, actually I was so blissed-out on endorphins from a million-trillion dance classes that I was still a mostly happy Havi.
But seriously, sleep! I need it.
No more zombie days, please.
Plum Duff. It is so much work!
I adore Plum Duff but my god, the setting-up-of-it.
This took up most of my week and even though it is fun, SO MUCH WORK.
Marisa and I worked and played together on Skype all week, which was wonderful.
But Skype! I did not realize I had so much old pain about it.
For years I have just told people that I don’t skype, and couldn’t even remember why.
Until I had to this week and remembered that I had closed my account. And then I also remembered why this had happened.
I used to skype all the time with my ex, this is years ago. Until the ex fell in love with some French girl and then every time I logged onto skype I had to look at these barf-barf-barf status updates like “yearning for Angelique“, ew. Also: knife in heart!
Anyway, no more skype. Until this week. So that was hard.
Also IT IS THE FUTURE, YOU GUYS, and video is weird, and I spent the whole time giggling and blushing and playing with my hair.
Trouble finding the useful inside of the hard.
Some not-good things have been happening, and I have been looking for where the useful is, and it has been hard to find.
Usually this means that I have not been acknowledging how damn hard the hard is before looking for the useful.
Grumble grumble hard-grumble-hard grumble!
Getting locked out of the Hypothalamus!
The lock to my office jammed.
And I couldn’t get in.
Right before a giant meeting and all my papers were inside and I couldn’t get to them.
It was incredibly stressful and agonizing. Also, all my monsters were yelling about the SYMBOLISM of it all.
(“See? You don’t take care of your space and now you don’t get to go in it. And it’s the brain center but you’re locked out! And that’s so typical, because blah blah blippity blah your life is a mess and it’s just getting worse!!!!!” — the monster committee.)
So we had to break out the monster manual (it worked!).
And then fortunately the handyman was nearby and brought a ladder, and a perfect solution revealed itself. So it’s okay now. Onto the good.
Talking about a scary thing.
And I’ll [silent retreat] on this.
The good stuff
I am now finding the useful and it is indeed useful.
Still don’t like the hard. Obviously.
But being able to see what is or might be useful about it. Yes. Yes.
I talked about a scary thing. Out loud!
So first of all: ALL THE SPARKLEPOINTS TO ME!
And then it wasn’t a disaster. Hey! It wasn’t a disaster.
The direction that emerged is not the one I would have chosen, but it works. And it was way better than anything the monster collective was predicting would happen.
Visiting all the old places, and it was okay!
Lady Chuck and I went out for dinner at the place that used to be Pirate Council time, and it was absolutely lovely. That was a sweet surprise.
And I only ended up at the Place of the Dead Ritual because a friend and I had to talk business stuff and it was nearby, and it just sort of happened.
Plus — and this is a huge thing — I had forgotten that it was that day.
The fact that I had forgotten is mind-blowing to me. Because for weeks all I could do on that day was think about not being at the place and not doing the thing. And what was X doing? And what music were they playing? And would Y be there?
So good news! I wasn’t thinking about any of that. I have stopped doing that.
And then, much to my astonishment, it turned out that everything is different there now. None of the people or experiences that I associate with that place are there anymore. The place reconfigured along with me, apparently.
I don’t think I will go back for a while. But it was not traumatic and horrible. This is big.
Not enough sleep because of very fun things.
Like extra-great playdates.
Or having ideas!
Or being at a spectacular light show.
Also: lots of catching up on sleep, due to the aforementioned lack of sleep. And the catching up was very pleasant.
There were at least three nights this week when I was asleep by 9:30. That’s the way it used to be before this whole year blew up in my face back in January. So that feels sweet and hopeful too.
Plum Duff! It is so much closer to ready.
Plum Duff days are the best.
And we haven’t done a Plum Duff since November.
You’re on the list, right? I know I haven’t said anything to the list in nearly a year, because I’m like that, but they will definitely hear about Plum Duff early and get first dibs on the good stuff.
Anyway, that was a fun project to play with this week.
Skype dates. IT’S THE FUTURE.
I got to talk to my Marisa every single day this week and gaze into her beautiful face and tap her on the nose. Almost like in person.
It was absolutely amazing.
And we conducted all the conductings and I love her.
Marisa and Danielle and Naomi and Amna and friends and goodness.
My friend who has disappeared is back!
Or: I am back.
Either way. This is good.
The light show.
It was spectacular.
What a night.
Also there have been some lovely side effects of the light show: for example, all the stones are lighting up, because that is how this works.
The word ENSHRINE.
It holds more than I realized. So much more.
I learned lots of fascinating things about my playmate this week that I had never known before, my internal museum of playdate has expanded considerably.
And this week our playdates, while still beautiful, playful, creative and delicious, went in all kinds of new directions.
We played at, among other things: enshrining things, being birds, soaring, reconsecrating a temple, being an earthquake in an orchard, counting things, speaking in code and inventing consulting gigs as experiments.
I feel so much delight. In the sense of: I am delighting in things and delighting over things and being delighted in, and also there is delight everywhere when our minds connect.
Danielle and I spent beach day at Hug Point, and it was exquisite.
I napped in the sun and did yoga in the sand and talked to Incoming Me. Beautiful.
I am okay.
I am still feeling anxious about the Not Good Piece Of News, but I am okay.
I am okay.
This is reassuring.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is:
Rooster and the Boots.
They play a weird, unlikely mix of country and reggae — but it works! And their first album is, appropriately, titled Coming Home To Roost.
My playmate, who is hilarious, wants the band to be called Rooster Booty, featuring McHenzie Featherbottoms.
I don’t know.
Though, of course, McHenzie Featherbottoms is DEFINITELY just one guy.
As is the band. Obviously.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
If you’re not on the list, get on it. Seriously. Now is the time.
I hardly ever send anything at all, but you will get early notice about the fantastically great things going on during Plum Duff.
That means: special things that can’t usually be procured outside of the Playground Toy Shop, as well as bundles, packages and bonuses that make things extra-great and extra-affordable.
And if you can’t wait for that because [EXCITEMENT!] and you a member of the Floop, there is a huge discount/bonus thing happening there right now so peek at that.
Also, the Art of Embarking is a) incredibly useful, and b) the prerequisite for most things you might want to do. So if you don’t have that, now is a good time…
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.