Friday chickenIn which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Such a better week for me than last week.

Giggling happily instead of crying. I needed this one.

The hard stuff

So. Much. To. Do.

We are working our asses off to open Stompopolis, and it is completely all-consuming.

And guess who has to come up with systems and operating manuals, procedures and protocol for five different businesses running on five different business models? Yup, that would be me. And I know, it’s my company so of course it’s me, but it is way too much for me, and I am insanely jealous of my friend who is opening a shop, because OHMYGOD A SHOP is so freaking easy compared to what we’re trying to do here.

Painful dreams.

Yes.

Plans changing.

Worse, crazy-inconsiderate decisions that force the plan-changing.

Pressure.

It’s the worst.

Also: I would like everyone in my life to please stop calling me to find out if I’m okay. I know it’s meant to be helpful but it’s not helpful. It just gives me more things on my mind when what I need most is FEWER things. If I wanted to talk, I would be talking.

There are fewer hours in the day than I think they are.

It is astonishing how I can be so very good at overestimating my capacity, as well as the capacity of everything else.

Big argument.

It didn’t last long but it hurt.

Resentment about being inside when the sun is out.

I don’t think I’ve been this pissed off about having to do indoor things in spring since high school.

Of course I really and truly tried to run outdoors every time the sun peeked out, but it was not enough.

Grrrrrrrrr!

Putting “work emergencies” ahead of me.

I know from experience that this is always the wrong decision, and that taking care of myself first is imperative. It is such an Absolutely Absolutely that it trumps all the other absolutely absolutelies.

And yet I broke this rule four different times this week, and paid for it each time. This can’t happen.

Being wrong.

Specifically: thinking that now is going to be like then when actually now is quite and completely different from then.

Which is good, because all that stuff from then was awful.

But getting sucked back into that basic misunderstanding.

Why is there pizza everywhere? I want some so badly it’s driving me crazy.

Stupid Passover. Craving everything. Wanting to snatch pretzel sticks out of the hands of innocent toddlers.

WHEN WILL IT END?!?!

Oh, right. This weekend. Fine.

The good stuff

Sun in the park.

Picnics in the park.

Magics in the park.

Everything is good when there is sun.

And then I made a Highly Improbable wish and it came true almost instantaneously.

JOY!

The stone of DO IT.

I have a stone! It says Do It!

Actually without the exclamation point, but I can feel the exclamation point.

Sometimes Rummy the squirrel carries the stone and sometimes I put the stone in front of me when I’m doing yoga, for extra reminders.

Dooo it!

Giant epiphany of epiphanies.

Yay, Shiva Nata.

And yay yoga.

Amazing wonderful everything-yoga and Shiva Nata this week at the Playground.

Full of laughter and delight, ending with full body tingling buzzing vibrating pure state of happy, in the full KNOWING of the new epiphanies that are completely blowing my mind.

WOW.

Potato kugel.

Mmmm kugel.

Getting what I need, in a variety of forms.

Lots of help from Chuck and Danielle.

Going to special magical Portland-ey places and finding exactly the pieces that the new Playground needs.

We found the right desk, we found the right materials for the new Costumery, everything is happening!

The Floop!

I love the Floating Playground so much, I can’t even tell you how delighted I am.

People are seriously living by the stuff we practice here, and it is rippling out into the world and it is incredible.

Body.

Feels really, really good.

Hopeful and excited!!!

Yes. More of that, please.

Soaking in the hidden pool.

Everything is good.

Flowers.

And buying them for me. Without needing a reason.

Just happy

I’ve been working through a lot of hard and it is moving out of my space, and that feels really important.

Plus, Chuck and I were practicing Stop, Drop & Picnic all week, which makes everything better too. It really, really, really does. Try it!

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band isn’t playing until after Saturday, sadly.

But the show is going to be awesome.

Reunited With The Glory Of Bread Products

They make os much noise, you’d never guess that it’s actually just one guy.

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Do you have the monster manual? Not only does it come with the best coloring book in the world (and coloring my monsters was one of the things that made this week so much better than last week), but it is absolutely the most important information about how to interact with internal fear-mongers (and external ones too, since they often say the same things).

If you’ve been thinking about getting it, now would be a good time. Especially because we’re going to be reconfiguring the shop and some prices will go up. Anyway, monster manual & coloring book!

ALSO, do a lovely thing for our @evejacques (and for …the world!) by liking this facebook page about Mark Hamill playing the Joker in the animated Killing Joke.

That’s it for me …

Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!

We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.