Friday chickenIn which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

The hard stuff

Accidental Zombie Day.

The day when my brain stopped functioning, and everything was fog.

Overbooking myself.


Still in pain about something from then.

Well, about something from last week that is reminding me of then.

Now is not then. Now is not then. Now is not then.


Huge fight with someone I love.

We worked it out. Quickly, even.

But so horrible while it was happening.


Mine. Other people’s.


Feeling frustrated.

There’s a pattern I’m working with, and it’s taking a lot of time.

Also something looked like a blinking red light and turned out not to be, and that was disorienting.

Avoiding my local.

Usually Twitter is my local pub, and my favorite place to pop by for silliness and happy chatter.

This week I just couldn’t be there.

Which might be a good thing, but I was sad about it.

Goodbye, Ruth.

I just received news that one of our people, Ruth Brand Lederer, passed away peacefully this week at her home in Zurich.

Some of you might know her from the comments section.

Anyway, she was a lovely person. Hug a furry animal for her!

And may her memory be for a blessing.

The good stuff

Direction from the Director…

The Director tells me all sorts of useful things. But lately she’s been guiding everything.

Over the weekend she suggested that I head to a certain store. Which street to take. And exactly when to leave the house.

Also which corner to turn.

Turning that corner at that exact moment resulted in a marvelous and hugely unexpected gift for the new Playground.

And then when I got to the store, they were having a giant one-day sale. Furnishings for the new Playground!

Then Danielle was able to come with the car and help. The First Mate got a recommendation for something he needed. We met someone we needed to meet.

All from listening to the director. It’s been amazing.

And the whole week has been like that. She tells me and I listen.

Progress progress progress.

Meeting even more of the Playground neighbors and really liking them.

Picking out paint colors. Buying the paint.

Systems. Structures. Resources. Allies. A plan for the new stage. A lighting scheme. Ideas!

It’s all coming together.

Oh, and there are now seven different people who want to rent out our new treatment room.

I can’t even tell you how overjoyed I am about this.

An incredibly useful meeting with Cairene.

We figured out all sorts of important systems things.

Plus I have learned a thing (the hard way) and am finally finally finally not doing the thing that always backfires.

Living the way I want to live.

These past two weeks have been closer to the life that I imagine than anything else.

Walking each morning. Glow-sitting (shhh, meditating!) each morning. Dance. Mini-marathon-trainings all day (shhh, it’s really resting!). Yoga every evening.

And then having three ridiculously productive and creative hours packed in the middle.

So I’m getting more done, but spending way less time doing it. Playing, not working. Having more fun. And I’m humming my happy hum.

THIS is the thing I’ve been working towards for the past seven years, and for it to be actually happening feels amazing. I never would have been able to do this if it weren’t for Rally (Rally!).

Because that’s where I’ve learned about how to make time magic. And how to follow the rabbitholes and be willing to be surprised. I’m now living Rally. And it’s the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me.


Twelve years without sugar.

Sleep is mostly back on track, and I am extraordinarily happy about this.


I only had one rough night this week. It feels like everything is easing back to normal.

Enthusiastic & Play Day at the Playground.

On Toozday we had an all-day play day at the Playground Caboose, which is what we’re calling the original Playground.

First we ran an Enthusiastic and I told everyone my plans and they were enthused! And we said YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY. And we sang pirate-ey songs.

Then we visited the new space and I gave everyone a tour.

And then we had lunch and played all afternoon.

It was amazing.

Bout night!

This Saturday night.

My Guns N Rollers are going to kill it.

I’ll be doing the shivanautical warm up. And maybe some of you will be there too?

Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band is a fun one.

Good Day For Frogs

I’m going to invite them to play a show at the new Playground. Because ohmygod you guys the new Playground is big enough that we can have shows there!

Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.

A request for the new Playground!

We’re looking for pieces of cloth in shades of blues, greens and purples.

Ideally about a square foot in size. Or a foot in length and then half that in width? But whatever, bigger, smaller, whatever you have. Cutting up old t-shirts could work too.

It’s for a craft-ey project that will turn into a ceiling treatment for one of the rooms in the new space. If you have blues, greens and purples to contribute, we will be happy for them.

Our mailing address is:

The Fluent Self, Inc
1526 NE Alberta #218
Portland, OR 97211

And if you’re in Portland, we’ll be having a bunch of community painting party weekends that we’ll be having in March. So if you want to come paint and dance, or help out in other ways, that would be the best. Thank you!

Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.

Picture me wearing that crazy hat

  1. Two spots left for the March Rally (Rally!). April is sold out. I believe there is one spot for May.
  2. I want to highly recommend the Monster Manual & Coloring Book for working through stucknesses. A bunch of people reminded me this week of how much it has helped them. It helps me too. I use this material all the time.

That’s it for me …

Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!

We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.