In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Wow. I kind of don’t remember anything like this ever happening. Ever. Certainly not since I started chickening each Friday a hundred and seventy five weeks ago.
But I had a FANTASTIC week. To the point that all the good is just kind of blowing my mind right now. Usually I have to process the hard before getting to the point where I can remember good, but this week was all about the good.
Weird. Awesome-weird! I would not mind feeling this way more often!
The hard stuff
Some people are just not very nice.
I have (through learning stuff the hard way….) built my business and my systems over time in such a way that I hardly ever have to deal with people like this.
Or even know about them.
But there’s one of these people in the building where the Playground lives, and I am not willing to put up with mean people releasing the mean in all directions. I’m done.
So something about this is going to have to change. Fortunately I feel very capable right now. So even though I don’t know yet how this is going to work, it’s going to work.
I chose not to do a thing I’d really wanted to do.
It jus wasn’t the right time.
Sad me is mourning that. She’s having trouble turning the page.
I made her the best safe room ever, so now she is watching 80s movies and eating popcorn.
And writing a dramatic manifesto about how Everything Was Better Then, and sometimes she snickers to herself when she thinks of something funny.
Time! It keeps moving faster than I expect.
There is still a lot to get done (whatever that means) by the end of the month.
So I’m going to have to make some interesting decisions. Or plant some things for later.
We’ll see. Right now I’m too baffled by the fact that it’s already Friday.
I have a Secret Rendezvous (special agent code for a “meeting”) on Monday.
It is something that I feel very excited about and hopeful for. I want it to go well! But but but. The monsters are throwing a giant What-iffery party inside my head.
So there is a little anxiety there that I’ll need to spend some time with.
It’s all that bad-ass training I’ve been doing.
You know what hurts? Laughing. Please do not be funny unless you absolutely have to.
Kidding about that. Be as funny as you like. And don’t mind if I wince from the pain.
When caution is warranted but you kind of wish it wasn’t.
There’s someone I love very much who can be pretty ambivalent about my biggifying. It’s his stuff, and he’s allowed to have it.
But I have to remember to be very careful about how I present information to him.
The good stuff
Look at this picture of Andy and Selma!
And she brought Andy.
Andy is a charming, well-traveled and highly photogenic fellow, and he and Selma hit it off marvelously.
Is this not the most adorable thing you have ever seen?
I am so strong right now. I am so at home right now.
I have energy. I have zooom coursing through my veins.
But not in a stressful way. Just a peaceful, grounded, ready here I am.
My body knows what it’s doing, and we are friends and we delight in hanging out, and we are making lots and lots of time for each other.
This week it was just there.
Giant progress! And a new gorgeous ritual that I love.
I had a massive epiphany (thank you, Shiva Nata) about how I treat my desires.
So instead I created a secret home for my wishings, and started decorating it.
I’m using a book technique that I learned from Joy.
Each gwish goes into a red envelope with a magic reminder-word on it.
Once a week I choose one gwish and do some playing and processing around it.
The ones that are done go into orange envelopes, and those go into a special book.
They become reminders about types of wanting that used to scare me but don’t anymore! And I can also track what has changed as a result of wishing the wishes.
This is HUGE!
Speaking of wishes….
The thing I have been massively wanting (but terrified of because ohmygod it’s so great) since the day we moved into the Playground space is on the verge of coming true.
Clews and coincidences! .
Walking my usual walk to dance class, there was construction.
I decided that going around the block was not be a waste of time, because it would hold a clew for me. Just because.
There were three clues and then there it was. The EXACT thing I needed.
Then after my dance class, I went to visit R and she gave me an even better clew about the same thing. That information can help me get the thing much faster. Plus there is a secret rooftop deck, and that is another clew.
I’m sorry that I can’t tell you more about this, but just know that it’s all very tingly and exciting.
It’s a win-win-win-win-win. Win. Or something.
I ran into J, and it turns out that my secret plan that I can’t talk about is also good for her and also good for the other person that I was worried might not like it.
So basically the thing I want is good for everyone involved.
And everyone is FOR IT! They support me in wanting it.
The Floating Playground site is all ready after months of hard work.
And it is gorgeous.
More about that to come but for now just know that it is BEAUTIFUL.
Even more wishes coming true. All over the place.
Like asking you guys if anyone had Bryan’s Long, Slow & Deep CD, because it’s out of print and sells for fifteen hundred dollars now.
And Gaye did. She’s sending it to the Playground!
My number one partner-in-crime is on her way here too.
And everything is coming together.
I have been reflecting on things, using words and images and collage-like bits.
The reflectings are smarter than me, and I am listening.
This is related to the thing I said last week (which is still true) about how setting expectations goes hand in hand with releasing expectations, and how when I do both, everything works.
Because the shivanautical zapping is just getting better.
Here it is:
Play keeps me present.
Work keeps me from being present.
I am sneakily inventing new ways to turn every aspect of my work into silly childlike exploration. Even when it seems like it will take longer.
It’s working. You should have seen me on Wednesday with my scepter and my elephant ears, getting stuff done like nobody’s business.
I have an Almanac and it is the best! Thing! Ever!
And now I am in love with next year. And tossing everything that is not congruent, even if it seems like a smart thing to do, business-wise.
Ohmygod. Congruence is EVEN BETTER than I’d imagined it would be.
I have been working on CONGRUENCE as my theme for the past month.
And I’d always imagined that congruence would feel very placid.
But now that it’s here, it’s actually blissful.
I’ve felt so incredibly happy about being alive this week. Aligned and peaceful and creative and trusting. It’s grounded, but it’s also so very sparkly.
The more I am playful, the more things fit. And the more things fit, the more I play. Like that. I am not explaining any of this very well, but be happy for me if you can. I am going to figure out what I know about this state, and we will bottle it! :)
The fun part of the Chickening happens here.
Tabstravaganza! Or: what’s Havi been up to with all those open Firefox tabs?
- Skate-aroke! It’s roller skating karaoke. Come on!
- This beautiful, honest and heartfelt post from my friend Michelle about divorce, pain and yoga.
- Hiro made a video of her poem and you should experience it. I love her voice so much and I could listen to her all day. Our business is the business of love.
- This interview with Scald Eagle, my favorite skater, all around amazing person and soon-to-be a shivanaut!
Okay, so I’ve mostly been reading derby-related stuff this week but that’s because I’m so excited about the new season starting, you guys.
From the archives.
Some old, weirdly pertinent posts that I don’t remember having written, encountered while looking for something else:
- Eleven and a half insights that changed everything I do.
- This one with the impossible name (Where’s Waldo? Inside of a Jack O Lantern wearing invisibility cloak love potion number nine, apparently). Yes.
Playing live at the meme beach house — it’s the Fake Band of the Week!
Background? Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once translated “people will hate me and be jealous” to “they’ll hang out at my Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.
This week’s band is brought to you by my iPhone not understanding the word glorrrrious.
Glitter Riots of Possibility
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
- Rally prices are going up at the end of the month. Most of the 2012 rallies are close to full. Seriously. Find a way. Come to a Rally (Rally!).
- If you’re planning on doing anything I teach next year, you’ll need the Art of Embarking.
- We are close to making an announcement about Shivanauticon! It’s crazy. But in the best possible way.
I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.
That’s it for me …
And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.
Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?
And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.
p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.