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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Friday Chicken #161: I don’t actually know how to whistle

Friday chickenIn which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of ritual and self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Once more I am in denial. This whole wait-now-it’s-September bit has thrown me for a loop.

Excuse me while I stick my fingers in my ears and sing lalalalala.

Or as Lisa does it, lalalalala must go eat pancakes.

Anyway, this week! It happened. How was it?

The hard stuff

Oh, hormones.

Tantrums and raging and hating everything.


Also, related: extreme hypersensitivity to the smell of smoke.

Which normally wouldn’t be a big deal since I don’t know anyone who smokes. But apparently this week was Everyone-in-Portland-Smoke-Like-A-Fiend Week and no one told me.

Sore shoulder.

And I keep forgetting about it and making it worse.

Rushed. The Grumblethrum Collective are not happy.

All my time monsters were extra loud.

And the Grumblethrum Collective had all sorts of things to say about their perceptions of lack and of everything Being Squozed. Their word choice.

But seriously, time is flying. And the transitions are bumpy.

I always forget that Oregon does this thing where it goes from summer to fall with zero intermediary anything.

One night you’re trying to sleep while glued to the fan, the next night you’re piling on the blankets and wondering where the flannel sheets went.

One morning you’re wandering around the light-filled house in your underwear, the next morning it’s hoodies and slippers in the dark.

I used to think that it was just this weird blip on my part. A lack of mindfulness. Temporary amnesia. But it’s not. Things just switch up really, really, really fast.

The truth is, I adore autumn. And this summer has been amazing. No regrets.

But something about the switch triggered my It’s All Happening Too Fast stuff, and there was a mini-freakout there too.

Also there are only six days until the Shiva Nata training and then it’s already Rally (Rally!) and then it’s practically October.


Just argh. So many times argh.

Sometimes I just don’t like anyone.

This is also hormonal and it will pass. But it still sucks.

Being misunderstood. Or perceiving that I have been misunderstood.

I do not like this.

The good stuff

An actual weekend! For meeeee!

And a lovely one.

With merby and derby and lots of napping.

Plus partner yoga-ing with Danielle.

Delicious cart food and also Captured By Porches.

My shopkeeper’s hat.

It really is a great hat.

Plus now it has a story. Everything’s better with a story.

The Toozday Shiva Nata class.

An amazing group of people.

Brilliant practice. It was fantastic.

And the epiphanies have been flying!

Hooray and a thousand times again hooray for the craziness that is Shiva Nata.

Big and wonderful changes at the Playground.

We’re redoing lots of things.

Moving stuff around. Reorganizing.

It’s all very exciting.

Clean house.

It’s clean. I feel good!

Happy Hoppy House.


Can’t give details yet because it’s still being whispered, but I am in love — madly — with this new thing I’ll be teaching. Soon, I promise.

Many sweet and wonderful moments in which everything is actually pretty great.

Sometimes I forget about these but there were actually lots of them this week.

Body is happy.

Other than the shoulder.

But happy, still.

Thank you, body.

And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week’s band is a local one:

Always Whistle First

They’re doing shows all over the place. Check them out if you get a chance. Although I heard it’s actually just one guy.

Announcement time!

  1. I wanted to remind you: Rally prices have to go up in 2012. Which is weirdly soon. And those Rallies are already filling up pretty quickly. So take a look at the SCHEDULE for this new year and make a Gwish about when/how.
  2. The Shiva Nata iPhone app! Have you tried it? If you don’t have an iThingy (Chuck‘s word?), hang out in pubs until you meet someone who does! Then borrow their phone for five minutes each day. :)
  3. The monster manual & coloring book will be required reading for a number of my courses next year. Put it on your wish list.

I think that’s everything? If not, I’ll add stuff to the Very Personal Ads over the weekend.

That’s it for me …

And of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments if you feel like it.

Yes? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s okay if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — you can join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.

23 Responses to Friday Chicken #161: I don’t actually know how to whistle

  1. Andi
    Twitter: annaline_39

    Time she is teh fast.

    Too much time boxing and tagging stuff for huge major yard sale(s). Not enough time for art.

    Major grumpy turning out to be hormones (yay?)

    Not enough chocolate ;)

    The trunk on the car acting up again (BOO)

    (Marty got a job; temp and less than he was making before, but it’s a little breathing room; and the hours are great and it’s here in town)

    I get to walk again (see above, drop him at work, hit bike path).

    The hummingbird and three blue herons we saw on the bike path Wednesday.

    This absolutely *amazing* bounty gifted to us
    by the owners of the coffee shop. Pounds of game pieces, buckets of dice, stacks and stacks of printing (painting) paper, boxes that are helping me organize what I am keeping and separate what I am selling. Such a boon.

    Oh and *art tables* real art tables, the kind that have been on my inner VPA and outer collage wish lists for some time. 3 of those were also gifted, plus a new 8 foot folding table.

    Hello Kitty duck tape!!!!!!

    We were also gifted some honey vanilla bean OYO vodka. :)

    The students are back, so baking income should go back up (I sold two bags of CDs and DVDs last week to get us through the Week of No Pay).

    Breathing a little easier.

    Happy weekend!

    PS If anyone is in the market for beading thread, etc, message me at twitter and I can hook you up.
    Andi recently posted… Revisiting the Past

  2. Kylie
    Twitter: kyliewriteshere

    I am in need of Chicken today. I don’t know what that even means, but I know it’s true.

    The hard:

    – Stupid freaking shower of shoes yesterday. Actually, probably just perceived shoes. But shoes nonetheless. Rarr. And sniffle.

    – I have to learn this dance that I’m having trouble with. Also having trouble finding the time to learn it. Also having trouble with all my old stuff around choreographed dancing.

    – I keep taking care of this cat that attacks my legs, and it’s annoying. Also annoying to know that I don’t actually HAVE to do this, but that I am. And don’t know how to not do it.

    – All my old stuff coming up around singing. There is a whole host of stuff and monsters barging in the door around this one.

    The good:

    – I’m working on consciously working with the shoes. Silver lining?

    – TWO three-day weekends in a row! Enough said. Whoa. Relaxation makes me a way better person.

    – Having so much fun with clients lately! Settling into my role as business lady. Realizing I’m much better at this than at pretty much all past jobs! Feeling…competent! Yes, these exclamation points are all necessary.

    – Rally is coming. I am so excited to attend my first one, and to be in the Northwest (my homeland!), and for all that this whole trip symbolizes on many different levels.

    – Uh, ritual? It seems I might be looking into starting one. I’ve always thought rituals were cool, but that I couldn’t get into them. One seems to be materializing, and it includes meditating, and a candle I like, and also the smell of lavender.

    A happy weekend (and beginning of September) to all.
    Kylie recently posted… the how, the when, and the practice of connecting as an introvert

  3. Katie Hart
    Twitter: yogiconomist

    Cheers Chickeneers!

    The Hard:
    – waking up at dark o’clock to get work on time
    – adjusting to my fall teaching load 4 of classes and office hours all on T&R … I leave home at 7:12am and get home at 8pm
    – neglecting my body
    – dealing with the summer heat while wearing office attire instead of sundresses

    The Good:
    – my husband started an LLC
    – excellent forward momentum on 2 research projects
    – taking small moments of pause
    – classes are going really really well
    Katie Hart recently posted… Back to School Shopping

  4. Rose
    Twitter: celestialrose

    Friday, really?
    September, REALLY?


    Okay, Friday it is. Chicken time! Peanut butter chicken time?

    The hard stuff

    – Depression.
    Hello again, old friend. Please leave soon. kthnxbai.

    – Monsters.
    Monster-mash. So many insecurities coming up. Bad memories from YEARS ago.

    – Add those together…
    And end up crying on bedroom floor at 3am. SUCKAGE.

    – Transitions.
    New Uni course begins 30th! ^_^
    New housemate. :S
    New.. extra high rent.. >_<

    – On that note…
    I did my budgeting and found out i'll be £3,000 short of rent + food money by February.. Oh Bother, Said Pooh.

    – Awaiting Autumn.
    It’s still far too hot and the leaves are green but I want autumn please. Pretty please.

    – Family Health.
    So much worry over Alzheimer’s and then Glaucoma and people might have to take medical retirement.. it’s all so worrying and I can’t do anything.

    – Not liking people (me either!)
    Needing space. Not getting space. ARGH pleasepleasegoawayplease.

    – Missing my friends. Three weeks until I see them again.

    The good stuff
    – My friend rang me! Caught up with stooof. Huzzah!

    – My textbooks arrived >_> with my DVD :D I treated myself with Series 2 of a show I love. And I’m so so excited.

    – watched All of Series 1 of said show in 26 hours. Huzzah!

    – The house is clean! I hoovered it and opened my window and suddenly it’s all better.

    – I’m part-way through de-cluttering my bedroom; and it feels fresher already ^_^

    – I got a new phone for my birthday and instead of a boring beep beep; I’ve put Depeche Mode as my ringtone. I just want someone to ring so I can hear it :P

    – Elizabeth sent me a gorgeous pack of postcards including two taken while she was at the playground [since I can’t get there yet!]. I feel very very cared for. Big thanks to Elizabeth.

    – I got a pretty black wine glass with “21” and swirls on it – I wanted a pretty glass so it works out very well.


    P.S. Hooray for the new teaching venture; I know you’ll be epicly awesome; and I’m excited to find out more ^_^
    -send it quiet, gentle love-
    Rose recently posted… 2: Wednesday Work-Party!

  5. Lori Paximadis
    Twitter: Virtuallori

    Totally la-la-la-la-la-la-ing it up about it being September. I am unprepared.

    This week’s hard:
    – Lots of deadlines converging all at once.
    – Visit to the dentist revealed I have to have one of those cleanings that takes two visits and where they have to numb you up. And four fillings have to be replaced. Gah.
    – Got cornered and instead of putting on the sovereignty crown I let myself get talked into giving a service provider who has disappointed me in the past another chance. While I recognize that it is my own fault for not standing firm, I feel a bit manipulated by his sob story. Really need to work on this.

    This week’s good:
    – Seeing a dear one working his way out of a long fog.
    – Even though I will have work to do this holiday weekend, it’s of the less demanding type, and it’s supposed to be crappy outside anyway.
    – Clarity on a couple of things that have been lolling around in the back of my mind for a while.
    – Decision made to treat myself to the tech toy I’ve been wanting. I can justify it as a business expense (really), but it still feels so decadent!

    Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
    Lori Paximadis recently posted… vistor, redux

  6. Hannah K says:

    I hope everybody’s weeks were majority good, or at least useful. ;)

    The Hard:
    Internally, continuing to freak out about family stuff. Nothing’s actually *happened.* Just ruminating.

    Mediocre sleep. (Perhaps because of dreams related to the above?)

    The Not-So-Good:
    Didn’t pay enough attention to work or school this week because…

    The Good:
    Lots of lovely socializing! Many invitations both given and received! Feeling very much in the swing of things. This is truly glorious.

    Am trying to save money; came up with a new system (always fun); and actually had some luck doing just that with schoolbooks and other stuff.

    Sorrrrt of counter to that but long-term in the service of it, found an excellent pair of replacement black flats on ebay for a low low price!

  7. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Whisper brunch! I’m reminded of an old perfume commercial: “If you want to capture someone’s attention, whisper.” You’ve got my attention!

    Hey there, Chicken. It’s been kind of a rough week.

    –Tangled work situation exploded this week. Major loss of face. Somehow managed to incorporate both the “ohgodohgod something really horrible is going to happen right now and I’m not prepared” scenario and the “ohgodohgod something really horrible is going to happen tomorrow and the suspense is killing me” scenario.
    –Shoes. Big, heavy shoes. Aimed straight at me.
    –Monsters. ‘Nuff said.
    –Worrying about my father, who has cancer. About my mother, who is his primary caretaker. About my siblings, who are trying to figure out how we can travel (a considerable distance for any of us) and, between the four of us, be there to help as much as possible. Worrying that I won’t be able, temporally or financially, to do “enough,” whatever that means.
    –Money. Holy crap. It’s just this constant weight. And things were extra tight this week.
    –Read some deeply disturbing things on the Internet this week. Felt blind-sided by it. Sad and stunned.

    *deeeeep breath*

    –A hug, from just the right person, at just the right time. So grateful.
    –Tangled work situation is finally out in the open, and in the process of being resolved. Whew.
    –I am resilient. This is a good thing.
    –Absolutely awesome experiences with my music therapy clients.
    –Snatches of song ideas fluttering around my head like butterflies, tantalizing. Should I try to catch them, or just keep watching and listening, and wait for them to light on me?
    –Felt great at choral rehearsal. The music we’re working on is new to me, and I like it!
    –Homemade coffee cake with almond and marscapone filling, and streusel topping. Yes.
    –A weekend adventure to look forward to: my sweetie and I are visiting a new-to-us major city for our anniversary. Having new places to explore always lifts my spirits and clears out the inner gunk. I can really use that right now. I am ready.

    Ahhhh. Thank you, chicken; thank you, fountain; thank you, Havi and other Chickeneers!
    Kathleen Avins recently posted… Morning becomes nostalgic.

  8. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    I thought nothing had really happened this week (see sick and ill below) but then I wrote this all out and was like woah!

    Now also curious + cat about the whisper brunch.

    The hard:

    Still being ill and tired (especially Tuesday where I felt as rough as).

    I seem to have spend all of August being ill + tired, and freaking out about how little of anything I’ve done + semi-secret fear that it won’t stop.

    Feeling sad about the things I thought I’d do this week and haven’t because either I’ve been too sick to do anything or something that would normally take me 15 mins has been taking me an hour instead.

    I thought I was going to do something with someone on my birthday, until they told me they were actually planning on doing something totally different, all day, with someone else. Ouch. + seemed to bring up All The Stuff.

    Managing to be crazy stiff from the extreme sports of vacuuming and walking.

    Creepy old guy in cafe yesterday staring (and staring) at my boobs.

    Clumsiness bruises.

    The good:

    Have shot and edited some photos this week that I am totally in love with. Feels like a big step up + have a ton more ideas about where I want to go with them.

    Spent yesterday walking around Brighton house and office shopping for characters in my novel. + yummy food and coffee in cafe. + bought myself a fabulous Ganesh t-shirt. + found incredible cacao, nut + fruit balls…nomnomnom. + ate yumminess in one of my favourite places. + totally owned creepy old guy with glare of death after which eyes were totally averted from my person.

    Gorgeous weather this week – sunshine! warmth!

    Bought a gorgeous and utterly bargaineous skirt that was on sale at one of my favourite shops.

    I have a crush on someone who has a crush on me.

    Started working on some of the replanning and rewriting stuffs I need to do for novel. And moment of possibly life changing clairty about why I was procrastinating.

    Even though there is some sadface mouse about the birthday thing, I was able to realise that most of the Stuff of Doom was not in fact anything to do with this, or this person. And did some stuff to lessen the freaking out. And still have fun + awesome stuffs planned.

    Am about to go and eat pre-birthday pizza + wine.

    Have wonderful weekends!

  9. Hannah
    Twitter: Hannah_Savannah

    Hello everyone!

    It’s so lovely to read everyone’s updates and get inspired and feel – I iz not alone. Especially this week it’s so great to know that stuckness is a normal state of being and to know I am not the only one and there is so much consolation in that solidarity and sharing

    *** The Hard ***

    1. Packing/moving

    So much hard there.
    First, to throw things away and figure out what to throw away and what to keep. It’s an emotional process.
    Secondly, as everything is going into storage; I have this feeling of ‘i have no stuff’ as well as ‘i am paying for my stuff to be stored’. Its scary.
    Thirdly, my new living arrangement is unconventional as I will live in a ‘university guest house’ when I am working. Scary scary with lot’s of doom monsters having opinions.
    Fourthly, all that thinking is making it hard to concentrate on work.

    2. Work pressure

    The professora wants results. I can see it’s not unreasonable but I don’t know where to pull these results from.

    3. Emotions hangover

    … from the broken up relationship. It’s taking a while to figure out what happened there. Again – hard to concentrate on other things.

    4. Comparison

    Friends are buying houses and having success stories and it makes me feel small and insignificant.

    *** The Good ***

    1. SPACE

    I am packing up my stuff. I am moving out of my studio. I got rid of non-working relationships and commitments. I will be saving money. I will have space in my life. It has to be a good thing eventually.

    2. TIME

    I has it. Not sure what to do with it yet but I has time and I love it.

    3. PLANS/hopes/dreams

    I want to travel. With the new living arrangement I am expecting to save some money. I might even want to come to Portland. Or plan some other trip. SO enjoying the research for it ;)

    All my happy wishes to everyone for their week!

  10. kim
    Twitter: avoidingkim


    first, i love chickening because i read other people’s stuff and get giggly about how everyone describes their stuff and i get comforted because everyone has their stuff, not just me, the center of the universe.

    right now i’m thinking “there is no good, no sweet, no happy in this week”, so i’m hoping that by writing i will come up with something.

    the hard:

    – i’m totally 127% bitchy. outrageously bitchy. i don’t even recognize myself, bitchy. it’s been this way for awhile.

    – long, horrible days at the hospital of doom. everything messed up, no one communicating, finding out that my mom has some scary super-bug disease thingie that they just somehow forgot to mention (since APRIL) and now they are all “everyone has to wear this hazmat gear around your mom” and i’m all “dudes, i LIVE WITH HER, what the fuck? now what?” so much frustration. so much anger at the entire world of medicine.

    – the crying. first i kinda cried a little on wednesday when i walked into the hospital lobby and some guy was playing the piano and it was “candle in the wind” in honor of Princess Diana’s death — mostly I was crying because of how fucking amazing it is to hear a sweet piano in the atrium of a hospital. then i cried about princess diana. then. yesterday morning. i just started crying and i haven’t stopped. it’s been over 24 hours of virtually non-stop, uncontrolled crying. i don’t even know what is going on. i can’t stop it from coming. i feel like maybe it’s hormonal. or maybe i should re-consider anti-depressants.

    – i’m all bitchy and shifty about all the stuff that needs to get done and i’m avoiding my mail. i haven’t gotten the mail in at least 2 weeks. it’s so immature. i’ve even driven up to the box thingie and refused to get out of the car to get it.

    – i haven’t been ALONE in i don’t know how long. i’m pretty sure this might be the root cause of the bitchy, the shifty avoiding and maybe even some of the crying. i NEED to be alone. i cannot handle being in this house or the hospital or anywhere with other people. my mom has the TV on non-stop –almost exclusively on the HGTV channel. i can’t take it. and i take breaks for a few hours (not lately) but that isn’t enough. IT’S NOT ENOUGH!

    – my body is ballooning out of control. clothes don’t fit. huge boobs. uncomfortable.

    the good:

    – ummmm.
    – i was able to pay for my health insurance for another month — woo-hoo.
    – last saturday my mom’s friend maria came over and took us for a drive up to the top of Mt. Evans – highest paved road in North America — it was gorgeous and it was out of the house and it involved someone other than my mom. that was nice.
    – my brother came to the hospital for an hour of the 8+ hour ordeal on thursday. it was something.
    – my son is having a great time at college!
    – i think i can swing going to the mountains and spending at least one night away from this place/mom. and i think i have someone to watch out for her.

    happy weekend, y’all.

    kim recently posted… Do cats even *have* orgasms? Anyway. I’m really relaxed.

  11. claire
    Twitter: claireofRA

    I taught a friend in high school how to whistle, so if you’d like to learn, I could probably help.

    Also pretty stoked it’s September. August was all about jumping through hoops for people. I’m hoping Sept. has some payoffs.

    The Hard:
    5.5″ of rain on Sunday flooding the bridge thereby closing my dead-end road. Several minutes thinking a mandatory evacuation was imminent.

    Huge tree went down in the backyard.

    Not feeling as well as I’d like.

    The Good:
    Didn’t lose power during the storm and didn’t have to, or ultimately need to, evacuate.

    Finally and unexpectedly heard back from the person who kept blowing me off re: a totally invalid billing charge and they are going to reimburse me for it. Took weeks to sort out though.

    Another long series of hoops and phone calls finally paid off, in part.

    Took some cool photographs of a flooded golf course.
    claire recently posted… And then there was Wind…

  12. VickiB says:

    Kim, I followed the link to your blog and just laughed and laughed. Lovely piece. I have had the experience of torture and bliss with a massage therapist.

    You have my prayers for the hard — there’s just too much of it sometimes. Rose and Kylie too.

    @Jane: “the extreme sports of vacuuming and walking”! They’re doing me in too!

    This week’s hard:
    Physical pain.
    Inactivity because of it.
    Having to do stuff in spite of it.
    Getting kind of depressed.

    I hate my kitchen. Not really but we had work done and when it was finished, the kitchen looked spacious. Then I put things back — you know, the kitchen table, the dishes. Suddenly it is crowded and there is still a lot of stuff to be put back. I lost some storage space and gained some counter space and more light through the windows, and I knew I would have to get rid of some things so that’s okay. The problem is that I really want that look of space and I won’t have it.

    My brother who saved my sanity in the spring is now making me crazy.

    Extreme heat after a week of comfortable temperatures: 100 yesterday and 101 today.

    The good:
    Yay! There IS good stuff!

    Appreciating MrB’s generous heart; he was happy for me in the face of a disappointment for himself.

    Friends loving the story of our “Nascar thing” where I drove an actual race car and went FAST! Being encouraged to put pictures of it on the internet and in frames on the wall.

    Great meeting with my coach, identifying a Thing to Work On and a plan for it.

    Lots to look forward to this month: going to Rally, and then the big Survival Celebration/birthday party/family reunion.

    It’s so good to recognize the hard (and honor ourselves for dealing with it) and to find the good even in a bad week. Thanks for the space, Havi, and thanks to everyone who helps make this the good thing that it has become.

  13. seagirl says:


    The Good:
    My law firm turned 6 years old! I bought it art, lots of gorgeous art.

    My house is clean! And my landlords have been like little mice in the yard all day cleaning and clearing. Pretty!

    New neighbors. The horn-honking dog barkers moved out! (Quiet fireman moved in.)

    Cool weather.Mmmm.

    Fun with friends tonight!

    A small pile of things by the front door to take to the swap pile. Goodbye things!

    The Hard:

    There is none! I am in love with life and everyone in the world.

  14. Jesse
    Twitter: persnicket

    Oh my goodness goodness. Hello Friday, hello September, hello impending Autumn, hello all the things (good and bad and weird and nifty) implied in all of these hellos!

    Hard things

    Unexpected tears. Unexpected pain.

    Knowing its source. Knowing what I’m hungry for, truly. Not knowing how to get it, and what that might mean for my future and my life and ahhhhhHHHHHH scary.

    Boundary issues like whoa.

    Running into a bit of hard stuff in my Thirty Days of Giveaways project.

    Forgetting things I know about being in noisy crowds.

    The constantly barking new neighbor dog.

    The night I was unable to read my daughter a bedtime story. I had run out of me and it was a very, very frightening feeling to sit with her, in the dark, to help her fall asleep, and to feel full of a palpable darkness and sickness and awfulness.

    The general weird energy, all week.

    Good things

    Shiva Nata with Havi! The Playground! Friends! Sea shanties! Wild epiphanies! Wow.

    Crisp mornings.

    Having fun navigating the maze to get passports updated/secured for my family.

    Continuing my Thirty Days of Giveaways project despite challenges. Learning how to move through the ouch into the this-feels-okay-again territory.

    Seeing how stuff-shifting is starting to shift the invisible stuff as well!

    One day I needed a reset button for a foul mood and I did it and it worked! Shower + white noise + slow reprioritizing + lavender oil.

    Life without little dog is full of a lot of right feelings, gratifying to have said goodbye to all the guilt and the what-ifs that hung around at first.

    Ballet class anticipation!!!! (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    Three day weekend!

    Kisses and hugs to all!
    Jesse recently posted… Seeking the edge of irrationality

  15. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space

    Hello hello chickeneers! Yay for goods, boo to hards, good wishes to everyone…. Here smine.

    Hard stuff

    – kind of losing my cool online today with people who haven’t had to deal with a kid with ‘food aversion’ and suggest (in a SUPPORT GROUP environment) that they just need some discipline. Old rage, old grief, old helplessness, wretchedness, fear, guilt, shame, self-condemnation and sense of utter failure and despair. Ow. OW. Still, very very very raw there. Safe room, please.

    – dealing with stuff that comes up in my relationship. It is good that we can actually do it now, but it’s still hard to do it. Also it takes time that my body would rather I spend sleeping but that would be a very short-term strategy and so I choose tiredness, which has it’s own aspect of hard. Better hard, but hard.

    – tiiiiiiiired and queasy and feeling hungover.

    – scary family budget stuff. I wish I was more money literate.

    – jobwebs. Running through my procrastination tricks so long I end up backed into a deadline induced corner and churn through work and spend a lot of time apologising because I know I can away with it… Would rather have just worked through the resistance earlier and got more stuff done more easily.

    – doing some fun, pattern covered (literally, the pretty decorative paper kind of patterns!) journal stuff and hit a tiny wall and put it all away. Oh, the other kind of pattern. Yes, that too.

    Good stuff

    + post-it note art. Mmmmmm stationery!!

    + seaweed inari from my sushi lunch joint, my new favourite. Yumyumyum. Also a purple carrot in my organic farmers market shopping haul, which I julienned and made into a salad of extreme deliciousness (purple and orange carrot julienned, also crunchy apple julienned, with loads of mint, parsley and a bit of coriander (that be cilantro to most of y’all) and a dressing of olive oil, mustard, lemon juice and orange juice. Hell yes, so I think I can cook!

    + reminders from good people about patterns and the usual loop (hello familiar neuronal pathways) and how it doesn’t actually mean anything bad about me that I have patterns and loops and how I have thought about all this before. Thanks, good people. Also thanks people who make journal worksheets and cover them in pretty patterns. That’s great!

    + working through relationship stuff seems to be getting… ??? …more efficient????!? Dare I hope? Don’t want to put the mozz on it!!! But this last round felt… efficient. So that’s good.

    + romancing the baby and thinking up fabulous and absolutely awful Days of Our Lives kind of names. Brick, or Glane for a boy (rhymes with lane). Or La Squeesha for a girl, like on Angry Boys. Bahaha.

    + vegie swap. Where local food-growing hippies bring their too-much-swiss-chard (or whatever else) from their gardens and go home with a little bit of everyone else’s too-much-whatever and there is heaps left over and it’s FREE and hooray for abundance and sustainability and food security and sticking it to the man cos we did this without you Big Oil! We is going to survive peak oil bitchez!! Gives me hope that ONE DAY enlightened self-interest will create huge changes across society that will mean we might even not completely entirely fuck over our planet and wipe ourselves out of existence, which would be a shame because there’s a lot good about humans too….

    + actually did get some work done despite the jobwebs, (just hoping this won’t result in body breakdown over the next few days. Adrenalin is just not that good for me…)

    + I have money to be budgeting with.

    + California dreaming. Not just the song neither. Doin’ it! Mmmmmm landscape….

    + now is not then. This is a good thing.

    Good wishes, cheeps. (that would be my chicken-peeps, geddit geddit, I’ve explained this before but I don’t want anyone to miss out on my incredibly crappy groan-worthy gag there, okay?)

  16. Deb
    Twitter: allthingswlove

    The hard:

    Dealing with perceived shoes being thrown in my direction. Determining which are really shoes & which are not.

    Deciding if I should confront the shoe throwing issue/perceived shoe throwing issues, or just leave them be.

    Cat deciding out of the blue that he should act like he needs his name changed to Mr. Crankyknickers, and treating my roommates as if he has no respect for them. Realizing that Cat has the biggest issue with the person I suspect to be the biggest shoe thrower. hrmmmm

    Finding out that a guy I’ve had a bit of a crush on, is also interested in me. Problem being is that he’s currently about 1500 mi. away. sadface mouse.

    The good:

    My biz concept is taking on new facets all the time. I work with chronic pain patients who are dealing with the state of overwhelm (which is a pretty easy state to get to when you hurt all the time). I want to work with them in order to heal the overwhelm and work past the pain. I’m a massage therapist/hypnotherapist. Considering taking the next Shiva Nata training because I think it would make a nice addition to my practice.

  17. Mary Jane
    Twitter: Mararose10

    Hi Fellow Chickeneers–

    The Hard:

    Nasty stomach for two days. Felt like a bug, so finally took Cipro, and Yay–guts quieting down. Now for the Gatoraide.

    Puppy really needs a walk. She is very good, but quite frustrated. Literally throwing my dogwalking shoes at me, LOL :-).

    Blind-sided by creepy on-line stuff.

    The Good:

    Lovely Autumn day pampering my mare. Sweet time for boaht of us, and validates my hard decision.

    Putting my mind around my possible worst case scenario and what I will do to manage. Not pretty, but at least I know that if the worst happens, I have a plan. Perhaps, things will turn out OK. The instability and uncertainty are very stressful. Many tears and much sadness, saying good-bye to my life that was
    Mary Jane recently posted… Damn Fine Words–More Secrets to Effective Writing

  18. judy says:

    Been a while since I’ve chickened.

    The Hard:

    My, oh my, hurricane Irene left us with no power or water for 5 days. For those moments when I fantasize that I would love to go camping, I can remember how much I hated this.

    All the things that go along with no power and no water, I will spare you all the gross details and the family getting on each others’ nervesness.

    Cell phone decided to become schizophrenic during power outage and then died.

    The Good:

    No damgae to home or people in it.

    Power and water are back!!!

    Adman (who had a shoe supply he was throwing during stress of power outage) went and bought me a new phone way too early for my birthday. Peace offering?

    Anyway, now I have the Shivanata App!

    Going to a wedding and spending the weekend with my good friend who I haven’t seen very much of lately.

  19. judy says:

    Almost forgot:

    I can’t whistle either.

  20. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    One of my favorite Broadway songs is Anyone Can Whistle because, yeah, “someone tell me why can’t I?”

    Chicken later (iguana swarm, sigh).
    Mechaieh recently posted… easy corn chowder

  21. Simone
    Twitter: simonethinks

    My Saturday chicken.

    The Good:
    1. massive epiphanies, like every single day. finally being able to allow myself to dream and have my love of the dreams actually overwhelm the monster voices for once. REALLY being able to believe literally for the first time in my life.
    2. having found the perrrrfect yoga studio. This was my gwish from a while ago, totally came true. this makes me so, so happy. also, lots of yoga progress. flexibility win.
    3. orgasmic friendship conversations.
    4. Magically waking up at 6:30 every morning, despite going to bed later and later. Deciding not to freak out the latter fact. Deciding not to freak out about a lot of things that normally would’ve made me freak out.

    The Bad:
    1. The everybody-hates-me-because-[ridiculous reason]-so-just-hide-in-the-closet-and-never-come-out monsters. Deafening. (hmm, just writing this right now made me feel a lot better though.)
    2. Work is blahbbidy blah, mostly because I still can’t concentrate. Too busy dreamin’ the dream. But actually today I realized that I need to talk to my work projects. They really to tell me what they need. They also need way more love from me. And I learned this today, so it’s actually good. Tea dates will be scheduled.
    3. Freaking out about the monies. So many wonderful things to spend money on. Like a flight ticket to Portland+Rally feez.
    4. The emotional ADD thing. Gah. And anxiety about the Dreams. Monsters telling me that I should have never dreamt them. That I’m just going to end up embarrassing myself. Even though it’s mostly okay and getting a lot better, still lots of hardness. :(

    But you know? Lots of movement forward. This is deh good. Going to enjoy the 3-day weekend.

  22. Leocadia says:

    Sunday chicken for me.

    The hard:
    – Second weekend in a row that is not really a weekend.
    – New jobs still tires me, the woman I am taking over from has a voice that is loud and unbearable and I have to listen to it 8 hours a day. And she has a weird system of organizing her work stuff that is driving me nuts.
    – Not sleeping through.
    – Getting used to spending quite a bit of time on public transport every day.
    – My new boss is very fond of the word efficiency.
    – Hormones.

    The good:
    – Skyping with husband.
    – I feel I am coming to grips with new job.
    – Woman I am taking over from is only around for another 2 days. I will be able to organize work the way it works for me.
    – I have learnt all the new names and faces (about 100) in 2 weeks.
    – Visit by a close friend.
    – A heart-warming email.
    – An ex-colleague I really miss in my new job because he made me laugh so much every day had left a message on my answering machine just when I had been thinking about how much I miss this.

  23. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium


    * something pinched-up in shoulder area
    * gunky allergies
    * extra innings on project = not enough sleep
    * general exhaustion and waily-ness and oh so many iguanas


    * getting to watch lesser-known players in US Open thanks to multi-court streaming
    * progress on mending
    * good coffee
    * rocking a killer dress at friend’s 40th bday party
    * good discussions related to projects

    Wishing everyone a week with more of the good.
    Mechaieh recently posted… incorrigibly plural

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