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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Friday Chicken #113: the Schmoppet visits the Frolicsome Bar.

Friday chickenBecause it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Well, well. Friday.

You look different somehow. New haircut? Hard to say.

But yes. It’s Friday. So let’s chicken.

The hard stuff

So tired of wearing ear plugs.

The screaming baby next door has now turned into the screaming baby next door being “comforted” by recordings of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at top volume.

I am going out of my mind.

So now I leave for the Playground at seven in the morning. But there’s construction there so basically it all sucks for Highly Sensitive Person Me.

Also, ear plugs don’t really work. They sort of work. But I can still hear that itsy bitsy spider navigating the stupid spout, over the shrieking and the barking and the leaf blower.

Oh, and it’s too hot to close the windows.

While I’m complaining. Let’s talk about the heat.

I moved to Portland because I look good in layers. Add a little fog and a light drizzle and I’m in my element.

At home among the translucent freckled people who inhabit this delightfully grey part of the world.

Fine, so it’s sunny in the spring. And the summer. But it’s OCTOBER already.

I want fall and I want it now and I do not want to have to keep un-retiring my flip-flops and the fan.

First person who says “don’t complain” or “oh but you’ll miss the sun in December” gets glared at.

Our poor sad tree.

The gorgeous Hoppy House maple is feeling sickly and has giant disgusting fungal stuff.

It is — knock on tree — going to survive but we have been very worried. Also, after a two week series of unexpected expenses that would not end, another $800 for tree care is a little unsettling.

But honestly? I adore that tree so much that it hurts.


First I read two posts that sounded like me to the point of parody.

Usually I don’t pay much attention to all the “imitation as flattery” stuff that swirls around the internet, because that’s kind of part of this weird thing that is online celebrity.

But actually it’s pretty disconcerting to realize that you are parody-able.

Then I read something else lifted verbatim from a class I taught. And I have no idea what to do with that.

Discomfort. Doubt. Not knowing what to say or do.

And then feeling self-conscious, which makes it really hard to write. So I’ve been avoiding reading even more than usual.

The good stuff

Day off!

Day off! Day off!

Oh, that is a good thing. It is such a good thing.

We went to Hood River and I got to do lots of nothing. Like rolling down a hill and cloud-watching.

And buying presents for the Playground at a shop whose tagline is “good books and bad art”. Nice.

Already planning the next one.

The most fabulous people coming to the Rally.

Oh, as if I weren’t already excited enough.

Some seriously wonderful people on their way to Rally (Rally!) and I can’t wait.

Closing doors.

I taught a class where we went through a process of symbolically closing doors.

And I have been closing so many doors in the past week, both in my business and in my home.

Finally finally updated the events page.

Set up three new forum boards at the Kitchen Table.

Moving stuff out. Moving stuff in. This feels good.


The epiphanies. Are being had.

Yay Shiva Nata. Yay napping. Yay journaling. Yay bathtime.

I had so many outrageous ideas this week that my arms hurt from scribbling.

Huh. Turns out this business-on-Facebook thing is kind of fun. .

The fabulous Secret Bar is now officially the Frolicsome Bar (FB) — thanks Liz!

And while I am still feeling slow and confused … it’s a pretty neat thing.

More to come. And I shall put up Schmoppet videos there too. Oh yes.

The page, if you wish to play: http://www.facebook.com/TheFluentSelf

Eating in the sukkah.



So I have been writing all week about playing. And this has been making me play more. Tearing it up!

And having all sorts of shivanautical insights about what playing means and why it’s important.

And then Kel sent me this link about a company in Pittsburgh that has a pirate ship and whose motto is this:

“The best work comes out of the spirit of play.” — George Davison


This was a really nice thing to receive.

Reprinted from the sweet-letters file, with permission:

“I just really want to tell you that reading your blog feels like having a huge weight lifted off of you that had been there so long you forgot it was there, while simultaneously having someone gently wrap a soft fuzzy blanket around your shoulders at the exact moment you realize you are chilly. Lean into it and sigh, and face the day from a better place.

“Hugs to you and Selma. And thank you. You know, for being you and for writing this blog.”

Oh! Thank you.

And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week’s band is known for their unlikely sound. And the way something always happens right after the opening act that has nothing to do with the show.

Implausible McGuffin.

Gotta love them. But of course it’s just one guy.

Some of the fun presents that arrived this week.

The Schmoppet! From Amy.

He is a puppet. An extremely opinionated, crazed extrovert puppet with a limited vocabulary. Who plays air guitar. I ADORE him.

Then Char sent an unbelievably soft blanket that the Schmoppet has taken for himself. It’s a muppet pelt or something. It is divine.

And there was something else (not a cucumber) that wowed me but now I can’t remember what it was. Next time.

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.

And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom

45 Responses to Friday Chicken #113: the Schmoppet visits the Frolicsome Bar.

  1. mish
    Twitter: shellbelle

    Ohshi— you stepped on my Stuff. Never thought that would happen! But I read the Voice bit and thought, “oh christ. Am I one of those people? I used “EVEN THOUGH” a few posts ago…” Calming myself. Whew.

    Lots of worries this week. Shoes flying. But I remembered this time (!!) that I can duck, that I don’t purposely have to get hit in the face and get offended and throw it back. That I can talk the shoe-thrower down. That everyone is human and that being decent is sometimes all you need.

    But hey, girl, don’t just deflect by throwing more shoes at the people who care! <– That is me, talking to me.

    I am *moving* into an Awesome House this weekend.

    I need a second job. It would be nice to hook up this temp gig I'm investigating. I'd feel much, much better.

    That is one crazy puppet. Awesome. Have a good weekend. :)
    .-= mish´s last post … it’s okay =-.

  2. Stephni
    Twitter: lietsjie

    Sukkah! love the word and I am very intrigued by the concept. Every time you mention it I picture it in a different way. I came across Sukkah City and wow (also nice explanation of the building rules).

    My week started stuck and yucky and then became stressful but clearer. I have released myself from a few things I think so three cheers for me.

  3. Megan Lubaszka
    Twitter: toacircus

    The Hard:
    Heat! Its been over 100 degrees.
    Missing someone I love.

    The Good:
    Grilled portobello mushroom and avacado salads!
    Staying sovereign in some triggery situations!
    That new William Shatner TV show. My do I love that guy.
    Updating my LinkedIn, which I’ve been avoiding doing for 4 years, but actually ended up being pretty fun.
    Finally finishing a project I’ve been working on for months! (as of 10 minutes ago. This is the first place I came to celebrate)
    .-= Megan Lubaszka´s last post … The Bad Fit- Could Your Child’s “Learning Disorder” be a Misdiagnosis =-.

  4. Dawn says:

    Hello Friday (and everyone)!

    <The Hard:
    -Miserable commutes all this week due to rain.
    -Sore feet. Found out I have achilles tendinitis and plantar fasciitis. I’ve been nursing it, but some activities apparently exacerbate it. Ooops.
    -Hmm, the issue of voice is something I’ve been confounded by for a long time reading people who read Havi. I feel vaguely weirded out by similarities, but it’s also comforting hearing other like-minded, brilliant voices. I agree, totally confusing.

    <The Good:
    +Frolic(k)some Bar!
    +I has a job interview! This very morning!
    +Lots of praise from current boss.
    +Taking a mental health day with my lovely boyfriend.
    +Volunteer training tomorrow.
    .-= Dawn´s last post … Taking the Learning Out of the Classroom =-.

  5. LaShae
    Twitter: LaShaeDorsey

    @mish Yes that was the first thought I had too – CRAP Did I doo thaat? all Erckleesque like. Then I said, well if I did, I was only channeling her and that’s something I can’t help, although I can be more aware because this Voice thing – honestly I don’t get it.

    I mean I get it and yet sometimes I have to say it in someone elses voice over and over and over again to hear it myself.

    Anyway …

    Missed the Chicken the last few weeks, not because I didn’t read it but because …

    And yes, it does help, ever so much and I was okay with not wanting, while knowing said help was available. This is why I love this place. Such culture. Such play. And oh emmm geee The Schmoppet.

    So The Hard – this week it is one of those rubber band balls, with different color rubbers and it’s bouncy. It’s knocked a whole bunch of assumptions, stories, wishes, hopes and dreams off the shelf. It’s all good, just hard.

    The Very Good – I’m still moving forward. I’ve written something like 10,000 words this week and even shared about half. I’m revamping, rethinking, rejigging and I like doing those things.
    Smudge sticks to counteract the cigarette smoke from the bathroom smoker = love my lungs
    A new collaboration with mister, mister. No not Mr. Mister.
    One fixed E-brake and speedometer/odometer and tires and a few other pieces that needed attention. Who gets all excited by tires? Me
    Knowing what needs fixing next and a plan. Woot! Plans

    Man this gets long when I don’t chicken on a regular. Okay leaving room now.

    Yay and Goooooo! Chicken!
    .-= LaShae´s last post … They Make Us Better =-.

  6. Joy says:

    The hard:
    – Too much to do. Too little time. I know I need to work on my “No”-saying skills, but not now, monsters, please?
    – Moving. I hate it. All that stuff looming, looking at me expectantly, waiting to be put into boxes and moved to its new home. And I know, from past experience, that it will be both not as bad and worse than I expect.
    – Recovering from Awesome Weekend of Awesome.
    – Dark, dark rainy mornings. How am I supposed to get up under these conditions?
    – Being in the vicinity of Other People’s Stuff. It wasn’t being thrown at me, but it was very angry and tense and uncomfy.

    The good:
    – Mutual confessions of love with one of my Lovelies. [blush]
    – Primary Lovely brought me tea. At work. Because I was chilly and miserable.
    – The scary-wonderful Ask re: me teaching someone! An Ask! (Yes, monsters, we’ll have fun with this later.)
    – Fairly ease-ful week at work.

  7. Lori Paximadis
    Twitter: Virtuallori

    Diving right in this week…

    This week’s hard:
    – The relentless onslaught of catching up after an unexpected almost-week off.
    – Lots of worry and upheaval and off-balanced-ness and crazy vortex whirling in what is usually pretty calm personal space.
    – Being late on the first project for a new client because of forces I had no control over.

    This week’s good:
    – The client was very understanding, and I was only one day late.
    – I am, as of yesterday afternoon, completely caught up with my work projects.
    – An hour in the comfy chair in the sun yesterday afternoon, complete with a little doze.
    – Still more new projects coming in for the late part of the year, which means I’ll be able to do some nice things in my office renovation.

    Happy Friday, Chickeneers!
    .-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … Rocky River Fall Arts Festival =-.

  8. Andi
    Twitter: annaline_39

    Shabbat Shalom, Havi, Selma, and all the ships at sea.

    This week was like that song that Shari Lewis used to sing at the end of Lamb Chops Play Along (“This is the song that doesn’t end”) It just went on and on and on….

    Beating myself up because I didn’t get it together to have a yard sale this weekend. I started out good enough a few weeks ago, but then got sidetracked into the art making and paperwork part of life. The stuff’s not going anywhere, but I feel like I let myself down.

    Receiving the perfect blue hand-dyed fabrics from my friend with ALS. Because I would so much rather have her healthy and able to use it herself, even though it was exactly the fabric that my new shoe piece wanted.

    Finding out that maybe beads and me aren’t done. Sounds silly, but it was so much easier when I was all “I will just paint and quilt”. Sigh.

    Trying to place an order online and having the system eat my Borders Bucks while also not accepting my payment. I guess it could’ve been worse, they could’ve accepted my payment and not applied the Borders Bucks, but $15 in “Free” books is $15, even though it is “play monies”.

    Wild retro colored Halloween cupcake liners in the stores. Which are now on the muffins I bake for Donkey.

    Oh! and pumpkin is back on the store shelves!!!!! YAY!!!

    The neat orange velvet cupcake recipe someone shared on Facebook is going to be neat orange velvet cupcakes for Izzy’s Boy Scout troop to sell this weekend.

    I went to an art group meeting on Monday and it was actually very good and healing.

    Beads and me aren’t done. Having so much fun beading this anemone as my “this is how to do this” sampler for my one-on-one class.

    It’s *October*!

    The gallery in Chilicothe took all but one piece I took over. And they’re going to put a lot of them in the window! :D

    Oh, and my contributor’s copy of the new Patti Digh “Creative is a Verb” arrived this week, my art is on pages 84 and 159

    Happy weekend, y’all!!
    .-= Andi´s last post … The Sketchbook Project- Week Two =-.

  9. Riin
    Twitter: happyfuzzyyarn

    Oh my goodness. The schmoppet is adorable!

    The hard:

    – Really, really tired.

    – Didn’t make nearly as much money as I had hoped for at last weekend’s fiber festival.

    – Looked at my calendar where I track migraines and concluded that the acupuncture, Chinese medicine, feverfew tincture and ginger really haven’t been helping. Bummer.

    The good:

    + Got lots of people to sign up for my mailing list, and handed out lots of business cards. Got lots of compliments on my stuff.

    + Realized I really need to dye a lot more yarn, and not any more fiber for a while, and realized I really need someone to help me wind skeins. I put an ad on Ravelry, Facebook and Twitter asking for someone to wind skeins who would accept payment in yarn, and about an hour later I got someone. I have a minion! Yay!

    + Vegan carob chip cookies at Ambrosia Cafe. Oh, my. Soooo goooood!

    + I have an appointment with my neurologist next Monday, so I’ll see what else he has up his sleeve.
    .-= Riin´s last post … What I learned at my first fiber show =-.

  10. Beth says:

    Happy Chicken! I love the schmoppet. On to the week, which was overall quite good actually…

    The Hard:

    -Havi, I’m with you. Fall? I miss you. Why did I move to a place where there is no fall? I should be making jam and craving cinnamon toast, not melting. It’s messing with my internal clock something awful.

    -Tired. Small degrees of augh going along with the tired. Wondering why my sleep schedule keeps getting more and more messed up. Wondering if it’s related to the lack of expected seasonal change.

    The GOOD:

    -My sewing machine. Oh, Singer 15-90. Lots of people say you are inferior to the 15-91 and maybe you are, but I love you even with your belt-driven motor. And you have the coolest accessories ever. And later today I will get stuff to make you really shine. Then, we shall make things. Yay!

    -My internal list makers have been super busy lately and they enjoy that.

    -I have a shelf! Finally, something to put my books and supplies on!

    -It’s a friend’s birthday today and my baby brother’s birthday tomorrow (don’t tell him I called him that– he’s been defensive about it ever since he grew that beard a few years ago). Three cheers!

    -I am now going to go and get free breakfast. There is no downside to that.

    Hugs for everybody, and have a marvelous weekend.

  11. Hiro Boga
    Twitter: HiroBoga

    In non-internet-land, quoting someone verbatim without attribution is called plagiarism. Also, appropriation of intellectual property.

    I’m still trying to sort out how I feel about this online culture where ideas and ways of applying them float like algae-blooms from one place to another.

    There’s much that’s wonderful about it.

    And it’s disconcerting when folks repeat things I’ve said in class or in sessions, and claim them as emerging from their own genius.

    For one thing, it means they’re not connected to their own voice and genius, which would make them so much happier than holding onto the safe shore of repetition.

    Wishing you ease with this, and with the noise and heat, Havi.

    Good this week:

    Rest, seclusion, working to my inner rhythms, time to write. It’s been a week of such contentment, including a whole day yesterday when I stayed in my pj’s until after breakfast, and wrote and wrote and wrote.

    Become Your Own Business Adviser. I’ve made some changes to the program and am delighted to see its new pattern unfold, as we enter into Week 4.

    September sunshine. Glorious to sit out on my deck, reading and writing, surrounded by the gold-and-green of early fall. And the nights are cool enough to snuggle under a down quilt.

    That’s it for me. Hugs for everyone’s hard, and celebrating all the good with you. Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.

    Love, Hiro
    .-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Nine years ago- today… =-.

  12. Gadgetgirl says:

    OMG, how did it get to be October?

    The hard:
    – Exhaustion, burnout, overwhelm. Will I ever not feel this way all the time?
    – Students doing stupid things like resigning from an internship via email. An email full of spelling and grammar errors. So unprofessional on so many levels. I’m mortified. They just don’t seem to listen to me when I tell them that our profession is a small, close-knit community. This student has burned bridges and I have no clue where to place him for his next internship.
    – So out of shape due to lack of time for proper exercise and self-care. Am stuck in a downward spiral. Not good.

    The good:
    + Making progress with statistics for 2 projects.
    + Positive feedback on dissertation prospectus
    + Older kitty seeming to want to hang out more with me in the morning. Maybe she knows that she and her little “sister” are the only things that get me motivated to get up in the morning? Ah, the unconditional love of our 4-legged furry friends.

    Hugs all around and hoping for restful weekends!

  13. Cathy Wilke
    Twitter: cathywilke7

    Oh, the noisy neighbors. I so feel your pain. Having lived in New York City for 15 years, I’ve had a lot more experience with this than I’d like to remember. Once we moved out of the city I thought I’d been done dealing with it but it seems to have followed me to every place that I’ve lived.

    I also have a screaming child living next door who begins his ritual yelling at 8:30 pm and usually goes until 10:30. Not so great when you’re trying to wind down for bed. Between him and a lot of rowdy new neighbors having loud parties on weeknights this summer, I was really driven over the brink and confronted one of them. Let’s just say I didn’t handle it well. But that’s no surprise because I never handled it well and I always totally lost control when it came to feeling like someone was destroying my peace.

    A friend of mind does stress relief sessions and we did some work around the issue. It was surprising to me to learn that I went from zero to red hot rage before I could have any rational thoughts about what was going on because of a history of being in situations (mostly as a child) where I didn’t have the power to affect a situation so I just had to put up with it. It made anything in my environment that I didn’t want there feel like an invasion; like it was ‘being done to me.”

    Through the session I realized that it was the feeling of powerlessness, not the noise that was making the situation unbearable. Of course the noise sucks, but my reactions to it were always totally irrational. Once I understood what was really going on in my head, I no longer felt victimized and was able to think about ways to calmly address the issue without wanting to tear the noisemaker’s head off.

    I also finally came face to face in the lobby with the little boy next door who is doing the crying every night. I was shocked to see how adorable he is– he melted my heart. I just couldn’t be so pissed off after being bowled over by his cuteness. I felt a lot of compassion for him and of course that has changed the nature of the situation significantly.

    So that’s my story. And my wish right now is that I could zoom you a beautiful sound proof room filled with fluffiness and soft fabrics where you can recline into the quiet. I hope that your environment becomes a place of peace and quiet soon–however that may come to pass. And thanks again for this place that you’ve created that gives so much peace to so many.

  14. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Havi, I’ve been parodied, more than once. Even when performed with more affection than not, I found it weird and unsettling.

    * Worst-case-scenario Monster has him some loud lungs. I wish he’d stop hollering long enough for me to pop a giant pumpkin-chocolate chip muffin into his mouth, but saints, there’s a lot of spit flying.
    * Zero progress on the IOUs I’d hoped to make major progress on this week.
    * Freaking asthma. It’s not back in full force, so yay, but did it have to show up in the middle of a Beethoven serenade?
    * There is not a single pair of jeans on this plane of reality that fits me. I have clothes that look good only when paired with jeans. GAH.

    * Regular salsa teacher back this week. My dance partner much, much happier, which in turn makes things more fun for me.
    * Kickass mentoring. Major yay.
    * It’s fall, which means baking pumpkin-chocolate muffins won’t make the kitchen unbearable.
    * I look awesome in short skirts and clingy dresses. Hah!

    Best wishes to all!
    .-= Mechaieh´s last post … running it never runs from us away =-.

  15. Scraps
    Twitter: scrapsoflife

    The Hard:
    -Finding out the bank intends to auction the house we’re renting (property owner in foreclosure, grand!) and we could be made to move out well before our lease it up. The actual hard is the waiting.
    -T’s new meds making it hard for him to sleep through the night or easily get back to sleep when he wakes up. And not being able to do anything to help.
    -T’s new schedule which changes my schedule. Schedule changes are hard for this creature of habit.
    -Not wanting to work on the big project at ALL.
    -Mom throwing shoes.

    The Good:
    -Finishing up 2 batches of Limoncello and looking forward to the actual tasting this weekend.
    -Making new friends.
    -T’s new job that keeps him very busy and makes him happy to feel useful.
    -Getting the BYOP invitations designed and printed and ready to assemble.
    -Giving myself permission to take a break from the big project.
    -Having my name on the UP!Fair exhibitor list. Makes it real. Validating. Even though I already knew I was in.
    .-= Scraps´s last post … the 16th Art- The Art of Dressing =-.

  16. Emily
    Twitter: emilyroots

    Voice…makes me think of…when I was young, we would drive down once a year to Alabama to visit my extended family. And even though I lived in the Midwest, I always came back with a Southern accent. On purpose? Not sure. But your thing about voice reminded me that, at times, I have adopted someone else’s voice when I thought it sounded different or better or cooler than my own….not excusing it, just seeing how it happens sort of half-consciously and half-not. I did it with my mate’s ex-girlfriend. Adopted her tone of voice. I didn’t even realize it, and then suddenly I heard myself, and thought, Who the heck am I, anyway?

    And I definitely won’t say you’ll be wishing for this weather in December, because I so get that. It’s October. Let it be October! (It’s supposed to get into the 30s here this weekend….ahhhhhhh. Maybe I can waft some of it your way?)

    Hard: Hmmmm. Uh. Well…not so much this week. I hadn’t even noticed…

    Good: October. Apples. My first handspun complete. Back in shiva nata, stuntedly, but still. Easing….appreciated even if temporary. The new Grinderman album.
    .-= Emily´s last post … Cast On and On and On =-.

  17. Willie Hewes
    Twitter: williehewes

    OK, so, I think my earlier comment was eaten. That’s OK, it was only me sharing mish and LaShea’s eek-moment. It probably wasn’t me, or if it was, I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s because I’m still finding my own voice, and that it’s OK to be in the finding-a-voice place.


    What was hard this week:

    Feeling dissatisfied with this month’s doingness. I was aiming for “productive” in September, and although I have been productive, I didn’t finish any of the stuff I thought I was going to finish, and now I have this whole bunch of loose ends going into the last quarter. Grumpity-grump.

    Panorama’s little expose on the Church of Scientology has me all shaken up. I’m dealing with it, but the dealing takes up a lot of mental space at the moment. Stupid brain, leave me alone.

    What was good:

    I enjoyed my salsa class on Friday, and have another one tonight. Yay. Dancing.

    Watching an English detective series with the boyfriend. Nice.

    Yogaaaaah! Ha ha.

    Happy Friday everyone, and happy October.
    .-= Willie Hewes´s last post … On Non-Accomplishment =-.

  18. Lisa
    Twitter: soapboxcreation

    I so want to tickle your schmoppets belly. Although that crazed look in its eye makes me think that might not be the best idea.

    This week was a week of dualities – there seemed to be the hard and the good in everything.

    + Disconnect from the husband – basically he thinks it’s my fault that I’m having a hard time adjusting to Bolivia. A large schmear of guilt on top of your stress sandwich, dear?
    + Girlie Mayhem weekend in Vegas – the ridiculous people, superficialness, debauchery, hungoverness and being seen in public in a bikini (beside models in thongs and stilettos – ugh.)
    +Totally losing my patience and throwing a shoe at the little Bolivian (of course not literally) and scaring him.

    + Connecting with the husband – finding time for our precious thing and actually feeling like a couple again
    + Girlie Mayhem in Vegas – the decadence, the poolside service, the girlies
    + After school care for the small Bolivian!! Huge weight off of my day and able to get back in to my business and play. Yay!
    + Getting back to the gym
    + Cheques in the mail
    + Creating a kick-ass web design for a client (there are monkeys)

    I think the good wins! Engarde!

  19. Leela
    Twitter: LeelaSinha


    On Voice: Yes, I too had the “oh no! Did I do that?” reaction. But you know, I tend to worry like that more than is useful.

    The Hard:
    Instead of being 1.5 businesses, I am being 2 businesses this week. I am very glad to do it, but today is the Biggest Day So Far, and I am very concerned about misstepping. Also? It will be a long day.

    I need a nap. However, this is not forthcoming today. Probably tomorrow.

    Portland clearly misplaced its drizzle. You can have it back, please! I want my crisp, clear, sunny autumn days (with bright leaves). This weather makes me want to go to bed for six months.

    I am having an eruption of Iguanas.

    @Mechaieh: loud lungs monsters! I hear you! I am sorry, Havi, about your neighbor’s loud child, but at least you know that child is not you. My monsters are having a tango party in my head. I would like to convince them all to drink tea or learn to waltz. The Must Be Perfect monster in particular is having a field day.

    The Good:
    The other half of this business trusted me not to burn the place down.
    So far, indeed, I have not burned it down.
    My brain has mostly functioned for me.
    I convinced my Perfect Monster to relent so I could write a magazine pitch.
    I have lots of possibilities coming, and the Monsters of Doom are not being too loud yet.
    There might be time tomorrow to do some of the things that are nibbling at my ankles.
    .-= Leela´s last post … the big question =-.

  20. Rebecca
    Twitter: RebeccaCKane

    Wow Havi. Verbatim? Yikes. Flattering (I guess?), but yeah. Disconcerting. *Sending some comforting drizzle your way.*

    The hard for me this week:

    – Realizing that I have so much to learn when it comes to dance. So. Much.
    – Figuring out how to have integrity at work even when I have nothing to do but fill time.
    – Recovering from a rather expensive week.
    – Feeling directionless and unhelpful with my blog.
    – Seeing a pattern of fizzling out after the initial excitment of a new thing wears off.
    – Really, really, really wanting to go to the Week of Biggification and not having the time off or the money to go.

    The goodness!

    – Appreciating my partner and how much she helps me to grow.
    – Reconnecting with friends from our Germany travels.
    – October! Birthday month! Wheee!
    – Finding and actually buying clothes that fit me and make me feel good. Um, rare.
    – Realizing that I need to practice more and more and more when it comes to dance and being excited about that.
    – Doing shiva nata at my cube! YES. Just the arms when no one’s watching. Haha! So awesome. Cubicle bing!
    – Loving the folk Opera Hadestown by Anais Mitchell. Wow it’s good.

    Sending heart waves from the Pacific Northwest… <3 <3 <3

  21. Rebecca
    Twitter: RebeccaCKane

    PS: I freaked out too about The Voice — Oh CRAP. Did I? OH NO. I’d rather have a convo about it than not if it was the case. – Worry Monster

  22. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Oh, I love the Schmoppet!

    -I had a second wave of anger and frustration over auditions for Candide, which were this week. So hard to let that opportunity pass, and it didn’t help that both of my partners were so firmly of the opinion that I shouldn’t even consider this (because I struggle to find time for doctoral work as it is). Knowing that if I followed my heart and auditioned, I would be faced with such negative reactions on the home front…ouch.

    +While visiting friends this past weekend, I had an unexpected oasis of incredible peace and quiet joy. It was odd: I spent one long, quiet night waking up every couple of hours, taking in the beauty that was around me and within me, then drifting back to sleep, then waking again — you might think it would be frustrating, but it was wonderful, and by the time it was mid-morning and everyone else in the house was stirring, I felt more rested and restored than I’ve felt in a very long time. Mysterious.
    +Havi, your post on planning has woken something inside me. I used to be big on life planning, and then something shifted and I became rather plan-phobic for a few years, but I really like the thought of doing a five year plan as a blueprint (or maybe more of a floor plan). I can see the beginnings of it in my mind — an artist’s studio, a family room — and I am very excited to be playing with this.

    Happy Chickening and week-ending, everyone! I’m very glad to be here with all of you.
    .-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … Candide and capacity =-.

  23. Jesse
    Twitter: persnicket

    First, Schmoppet is absolutely adorable. Is Schmoppet really going to star in videos? I’m excited about that, but I’m not sure if I read about it or just made it up out of excitement. Ha :)

    Second, THOSE OFFICES. Wow. Those pictures blew me away. Ostentatious, perhaps, but I am so very impressed that someone put so much thought and work and creativity into creating spaces like that. Who knew?

    I am aghast that someone would plagiarize your work. I wish I was a hard-eyed lawyer-defender person who could zing a cease-and-desist in their direction, but I suspect you already have one of those lawyer people under the Jolly Selma. Appalling. I also had the uncomfortable panicky was-that-me reaction that others did, and it gives me pain, ugh. I strive to be me; and your enthusiasm is infectious! Who knows. If it was me, oh dear; I hope my stuff didn’t step on your voice and need to think more about this issue.

    Happy Friday and happy chickening to all! Chickened on my own blog so I won’t add more here, but if you don’t want to read about ass needles, for the love of god do not go visit my blog this morning. You’ve been forewarned.
    .-= Jesse´s last post … Friday check-in- conspiracy edition! =-.

  24. Shannon
    Twitter: clover

    Hoo, what a week. I’m happy to be done traveling for a while.

    Hard stuff:

    – Had a major misunderstanding with someone who wasn’t interested in sorting it out.
    – Noticing a pattern where I am unintentionally bringing people back to reality, and they seem to resent it.
    – Lesson learned, universe, about setting a vacation responder for my email and being *very specific* in it about how often I will be checking said email. Got it.
    – Not sure if I can make it down to Portland yet. Hmm.

    Good stuff!

    + After the hard part, I had an amazing and fascinating wandering day on Monday.
    + My husband started his awesome new job this week.
    + I feel like I’m finally getting things done again after spinning my wheels for a while.
    + Hawai’i was great. I really needed to just be somewhere and chill for a while.
    + Portland is but a brief train ride away from here!

    Oh, and I had a neat conversation about nonviolent communication with the TSA officers who were rifling through my bags when I left Maui. They found the book, asked me about it, and the supervisor ended up writing down the title/author/etc. Warning them about the poetry actually seemed to make them more interested. Go figure.
    .-= Shannon´s last post … Just One Card- The World =-.

  25. Cathy
    Twitter: cathyyardley

    That is one awesome, kickass Schmoppet. And this really is the only place I get to say stuff like that.

    The Hard:
    Nasty fight with husband… old resentments surfacing. He was scared, so he hit every vulnerability I had. Bad burny feelings and old wild rage.

    Everywhere I turn, I keep getting the message “Let go” and “shed.” Child-tantrum-style, I decided to ignore Buddha-styled patience and forgiveness. Realized needed to validate need to be pissed. Also, being okay with not being okay. So far, that isn’t going well.

    Accepting I’m not going to be able to control my new project, or guarantee anything on anything. Sigh.

    The Good:

    Apple crisp. With local apples.

    Progress on things. Page count.

    Hanging out with friends.

    Naomi’s 2-for-1 deal over at Ittybiz, and finally reading something about branding that makes sense.

    Hugs on the hard, guys, and happy for the good. :)
    .-= Cathy´s last post … The Embarrassing Purse Story =-.

  26. Jesse
    Twitter: persnicket

    @Shannon…that makes me want to carry a copy of NVC in my bag every time I travel, just in case a TSA person happens to see it and need a book recommendation. That is so awesome!
    .-= Jesse´s last post … Friday check-in- conspiracy edition! =-.

  27. Chris Davis
    Twitter: chrisdivalish

    Re: Voice and/or parody… guess it could’ve been me, too. OMG, I *hope* not. I published a blog post that contained a Metaphor Mouse experiment.

    Which brings me to the hard…
    – lots of fear and angst about pressing the publish button on the blog post.
    – “shoulding” all over myself about whether or not the subject of my post was too _______________ (insert not too flattering adjective of choice) to actually publish.
    – and hating the crazy, mixed up relationship that I seem to have with my blog right now. I desperately want to have connection and community there but it’s hard when I’m not even sure that it’s okay for ME to be me in that space.
    – headache, not the metaphorical kind, the real kind. Sinus pressure, pain when it was super inconvenient. Off and on for most of the week. I’d think I had it handled and it would sneak up on me again. Ugh!
    – a whole lotta nothing got done this week. The aforementioned headache plus a way more interesting project of replacing all of my old makeup (yes, I’m still using discontinued colors from 10 years ago)….. a continuation of my skin care obsession from last week.

    And now, the good…
    – blog post!!!! I made one. I even told people about it on Twitter.
    – Friendz! Great coffee date with my very special, but unlikely friend. I cherish that relationship *so* much.
    – progress on a home-improvement project that’s been on the list for 8 or 9 years. ’bout time!
    – being surprised by the very pretty eye makeup I had done at the MAC counter.
    – one very productive day where I got done everything I said I wanted to do, including a follow-up email I’d been avoiding.

    Happy Friday everyone!
    .-= Chris Davis´s last post … Obsession and what came after =-.

  28. Kat says:

    I live in a wonderful apartment at a VERY busy intersection. Semis like to stop there and make lots of noise at 5:30 in the morning. This bothered me until I started getting up at 5:15. ;) Still, I feel your pain about the noisiness. I’d much rather listen to howling babies than most of the music marketed to parents of said babies.


    ~Very nearly No. Free. Time. Working on materials for Curriculum Night at work, Unit Convention on the weekend, blogging, Big Scary Dreamy Thing, and studying for an exam in anatomy.

    ~Smelly kitchen. ‘Nuff said.

    ~The jade plant seems to be dying and I don’t know how to help her.


    ~Got to help a parent of one of my students lose his fear that raising his kids bilingual would confuse them. Now they’re going to grow up with TWO languages and a better appreciation of their dad’s culture. Yay!

    ~Wrote three thank-you notes.

    ~Aced my anatomy exam.

    ~Learned how to do intra-oral massage for TMJ … so COOL!

    ~Had a whole hour just for tea and snuggling with my husband, AND managed to get to bed on time.
    .-= Kat´s last post … Treating Massage Student’s Most Prevelant Injury =-.

  29. Barbara J Carter
    Twitter: barbarajcarter

    We got the house! We got the house!

    That’s all that mattered this week. Carry on.
    .-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … The Art Studio is Moving =-.

  30. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    Hmm…this week…we met last Saturday, everything went swimmingly…and now you’ve vanished without giving me your number. Blimey.

    The hard:
    – bloody awful weather – windy, pissing with rain, cold. And then having to walk home in it. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
    – feeling kind of rubbish at the start of the week
    – one of my closest friends seems to be unaccountably ignoring me
    – feeling pressurized into going to a party I *really* don’t want to go to

    The good
    – realising I’d done this week’s course assignment last week
    – lots of writing the novel
    – feeling more positive about my situation
    – working through the emotions that were brought up by last week’s drs appt
    – smear test went well (possibly tmi!)
    – very excited about this weekend
    – being able to have a delicious pizza and a glass of wine after working hard all week
    – signing up for burlesque classes
    – things just seeming to go smoothly

    .-= Jane´s last post … Eating- mindfully =-.

  31. Jackie says:


    So adorable.

    And I’m now a little paranoid about my neglicted tumblr blog… Could I possible have channeled Havi that much or even (*gasp in horror*) plagiarized her work unknowingly?! I mentioned show throwing (could that have been it?)….

    Ok. Calming down my freak-out monsters. My week:


    – My birthday & all the love that was showered on me from family and friends

    – Being prepared for all of my university exams this week (not procrastinating feels SOOOO good)

    – Hanging out with family and friends (although I was studying w/ the latter, still fun)

    – Grilled pork and cake

    – Received my Non-sucky yoga DVD

    – Received a copy of “Be True, Be Happy” by Hanns-Oskar Porr to review on Amazon (WooHoo!!!)

    – Got an appointment to see the otolaryngologist on the same day I called, which never happens


    – Having a cold the same week as all my exams and birthday (which also means no cardio :( for me)

    – Forget shoe-throwing; this was a steel-toed work boot from a giant that was thrown at me by none other than my sister. On my birthday. That one still stings because it caught me totally off guard.

    – Having to spend the entire week (after work and classes) at the local café studying.

    – Having to deal with work stuff way more than usual on my days off (including a client who was as sweet as sugar in person, then threw a temper tantrum a few hours later on the phone)

    – Paying an exorbitant amount of money OOP to see the doctor.

    – Dealing with family that is not adjusting well to new changes

    – I hate networking

    Deep breaths and lots of love for everyone this weekend.

  32. creativevoyage
    Twitter: creatievoyage

    the hard

    the tax people changing my tax code so half my wages this week the first in 2 month took half of it in tax

    I threw a corning ware dish on the floor breaking it in fury after another sucky family ongoing situation came up again

    I’m worried that i’m ending up in the person in my family whose role it is to heal it all again

    The stress made me forget my keys twice so i had to break into my house by climbing in through the kitchen window

    the good
    A cheque for some work we’ve been doing for a year is coming tomorrow !

    I made bunting !

    I started a celidh dance class !

  33. Leocadia says:

    The hard:
    – I love what I am doing but my old problem turns up again: I occasionally make silly little mistakes because I don’t seem to concentrate enough. And there is so much on my plate that I am worried that I will end up making a really big mistake.
    – Having to sort out how to apply for visa for 3 different countries for a group of over 100 people of 25 different nationalities.
    – Tired.
    – Having to sort out yet another small move, rental contract, rent, rental bond…
    – Ending up paying more rent than I wanted.

    @Mechaieh: 100% empathy regarding the jeans problem.

    The good:
    – Moved out of the first place I had found. Having escaped its bizarre energy.
    – I found a place I can move into tomorrow. It has a good feeling about it and has everything I need, it is furnished, has a small kitchen, an oven, a washing machine, internet. The family I am renting from seems totally lovely. So as off tomorrow I will finally have space for just myself when I come home from work. And where I can cook.
    – Paying more rent seems to have been the good decision and I have still managed to negotiate a little.
    – Long phone calls with husband.
    – A fairly hermit-ey Sunday afternoon, listening to the recording of the Habits detective classe while walking in the woods. Some totally eye-opening moments and food for thought about transitions (Thanks for the great class, Havi, and thanks, Andrew, for a very valuable comment).
    – I have got my Paul Grilley DVD back from a fried who has borrowed it. My hips are happy.
    – The grocery market in the centre where I can stock up on office vitamins twice a week before work. Sweet grapes, plums, pears.
    – Wonderful homeopathic remedies and herbal tea I got from a doctor back home, phone calls with his very caring staff.

    Chickeneers around the globe, have a beautiful weekend!

  34. Kathryn
    Twitter: KathrynTHunter

    @Mechaieh, Pumpkin-Chocolate Muffins sound amazing right now.

    The Hard:

    Lots of rain. So much that the roads are terribly unsafe because of mudslides. Again. So that I am not sure when I’ll be able to leave. The up-in-the-airness of it all making me antsy.

    Also related to the leaving on Monday, I met a couple of really great people this week. Arg. Timing.

    The Good:

    Studied at a Mayan weaving cooperative this week and finished weaving a scarf today, on a backstrap loom.

    Getting clearer and clearer on what I want the site to become. Yay!

    I’ve been finding/meeting lovely new people at the Twitter Bar and having fun/great/interesting/amazing conversations. Wheeee!

    So many amazing/interesting/useful products launched this week. Thankfully I can afford them without worry. So this still falls under the good.

    I refound my love of cello music. Currently in love with Yo-Yo Ma and Bach. Yum.

    Also, red bananas, the best fruit ever, like peelable ice cream. Yum. Again.
    .-= Kathryn´s last post … You want me to talk about me =-.

  35. Beth
    Twitter: BethNotLiz

    Oh, Week… First off, mental hugs for everyone’s hard stuff!

    The hard stuff:
    Day job a bit tricky, a bit stressful. I’m usually pretty good about not letting it spill over into other areas of life, but this has not been the case as much. Brings up guilt-monsters: “But you’re supposed to be an ACTOR! How DARE you let your day job affect you in ANY way!”

    Not working out this week. At all. From scheduling to lack-of-prioritizing to horrible muggy weather. And just plain not wanting to! which ironically leads to:

    Not loving how I look. Guilt monsters, again “How DARE you not love how you look? Do you know how LUCKY you are? and you shouldn’t even CARE…” blah blah blah. But, ya know what? There are shapes where there were not shapes before! And it is irritating. Also, pimples. Really, body, really?

    The good stuff:
    Very proud of myself for organizing a little family birthday without copping attitude. And family tends to bring out my ‘tude.

    Lovely rehearsals and gigs last weekend. Oh, look, I AM a performer.

    Lovely pay for said gigs.

    Loving my career co-operative teleclass.

    Re-connecting time with some of my girls.

    Happy Chicken, Happy Friday to all!

  36. Shawna R. B. Atteberry
    Twitter: shawnaatteberry

    Just a quick update of this week.

    The Hard and the Good

    Being so freaked out Tuesday about doing first vlog and going to a book launch that I was comatose for a couple of hours. After going to book launch and having a great time, I decided it was time to tell fear to shut the fuck up, and I wrote about it: http://www.shawnaatteberry.com/2010/09/29/i-am-not-too-old-for-those-thigh-highs-telling-fear-to-shut-the-f-up/

    I also did my first video blog! Yeah for me!

    Chris Guillebeau is in town for his book tour, and I’m going to the event tonight. I also went to a phenomenal play last night that a friend of mine is in.

    I have a total creative hangover today from all the creative stuff I did yesterday, so now I am off to clean the extremely messing condo.

    Happy Friday to my fellow Chickeneers!
    .-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … My Very First Video Blog- What You Didn’t Learn in Sunday School- Take 1 =-.

  37. Mari says:

    @ Havi. You are entirely unique and irreplaceable. Your voice is so distinct and so attractive that I know (KNOW / HEART KNOW!!) that no one can copy it.

    Plus, if someone did that as a parody, boo on them and their monsters for parodying the pirate ship of amnesty and play. Fi! I say, FI!!!! (That’s my best booming Giant voice, FYI.)

    Verbatim lifting? That’s gross. Hiro’s right. It’s plagiarism. It’s plagiarism on the net too. Asking the universe to send you what you need for that hard to ease.

    Thank you for doing what you do.

  38. Mari says:

    P.S. New to chickening so lurking still on the chicken front…. Chicken lurking. (giggles like a kindergartener)

  39. Rupa
    Twitter: theyogaofliving

    Why yes, Havi, I did get a little trim. Thanks for noticing. :)

    Well, at least I can say one thing about my blog, and that’s that my voice has turned out to be SO FAR AFIELD that I’m in no danger whatsoever of mimicing anyone, even unconsciously.

    Yay? Hm.

    -I haven’t yet started a project I’ve had on my desk for months. It’s way more important than anything else I’ve got to do. Compiling Todd’s short stories…*sigh*
    -Miss him.
    -I’m still feeling a little awkward at the Twitter bar, wearing my cardigan sweater and sipping my tonic water and all.

    -I’m having much more fun doing Shiva Nata than I anticipated. Husband thinks it’s so hilarious he’s promised never to be angry with me, ever, if I will just bust a Shiva Nata move.

    How great is that? (Not that he ever gets angry anyway…)

    -Oregon weather in parts of Maui. Flannel shirts & drizzle. Sorry friends.

    -Going to tiny County Fair tonight for annual Ferris Wheel pilgrimage and gargantuan pumpkin contest, etc.

    Hugs for everyone’s hards.
    Shouts of joy for everyone’s goods.
    .-= Rupa´s last post … Offering Oblations to the Demigod of Sleep =-.

  40. Shannon
    Twitter: clover


    You must be on the windward side?

    And how funny… I nearly went to the Radhanath Swami thing. I would have met you and not even have known it. Now I wish I had gone! Have fun at the fair :)
    .-= Shannon´s last post … Age Before Beauty! =-.

  41. Rupa
    Twitter: theyogaofliving

    Shannon! No way!

    Leward side, actually. How cool is that?
    Had great fun at the fair, thanks…
    It’s only a matter of time till our paths cross!

    Aloha nui, rupa xo
    .-= Rupa´s last post … Offering Oblations to the Demigod of Sleep =-.

  42. laine says:

    Late check in.

    The hard:
    Sister’s family is sick with staph.

    The weird:
    voicemail message at work from guy I dated 15 years and 3000 miles ago.

    The good:
    Made room for the massive anxiety earlier in the week, and now there’s room for both of us so I don’t notice it as much.
    Fall is here! No more oppressive humidity. I can wear a sweater! And wool socks! And soon it will be Bed Hat wearing weather!
    Bread making season is here.
    New fall clothes.
    Rolled out the yoga mat last night.
    Week long writing retreat coming up.
    Walking to the farm stand today for squash.

  43. Kirsty Hall
    Twitter: kirstymhall

    Eek on the plagarism thing, Havi – I can see how you’d find that weird & uncool.

    The Hard
    Oh so much hard this week, I feel as though I’m drowning in it. :(

    I’m in a Chronic Fatigue crash & I’m really am not well enough to do much of anything.

    I’ve also got a lot of monster voices going on. Apparently they think that when I’m sick & vulnerable, it’s the perfect time to harangue me about being a lazy, useless failure who’ll never amount to anything.

    And I have no money and I can’t seem to stay motivated to keep on my eating plan or do my morning exercises or even make art. Everything suckssssssss. Wahhhhhh! And then I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself and being a boring, moaning person. Sigh, monsters, monsters everywhere…

    The Good
    My gorgeous son turned 18 this week, there was cake.

    I had a massage, that was nice.

    My family are being sweet to me.

    I have a roof over my head, the bills are paid, there is food on the table and I am loved.

    There are Terry Pratchett books
    .-= Kirsty Hall´s last post … New chicken video =-.

  44. meredith says:

    congratulations sweet-letter-writer on their excellently spot-on description of havi’s blog!

    I love it because I feel *exactly* the same way.

    Thank you!!!

  45. Kylie
    Twitter: kyliewriteshere

    Schmoppet!!! Those are some gnarly teeth right there.

    Oof. Voice. If I was an imitator, even slightly, my apologies. So not intentional.

    The Hard:
    Clearly behind on things, since it is now Monday and I’m just getting to Chicken now. But most of what’s going on is good stuff. Still, slightly hard.

    Paperwork. That I’m iguana-ing. Hmph.

    I’m not sure how to like myself. It must be a skill I haven’t yet developed, or something of that sort.

    Highly sensitive person stuff. It frustrates me that I get so emotionally hurt when people say small things in passing, but in not-so-nice ways.

    The Good:
    Had a photo shoot yesterday that was so much fun and produced so many ideas of what I can do through photography.

    Good people on Twitter. I like them, and the ease of 140 characters.

    Shaved my head again this weekend. Feel so free and so like I am myself.

    It feels solidly like fall. It’s in the fifties today. I’m wearing jackets and eating oatmeal. This makes everything better.
    .-= Kylie´s last post … it gets better =-.

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