What's in the gallery?

We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Year of The Mystery. And the Bagel. Come in, come in!

Five cafes that count among my regular haunts. Three are named for animals. Well, two are named for animals and one ought to be.

And one is the kind of place where I just can show up and say: FEED ME. They know what I like.

But mostly they know that I like being surprised.

Wait! That is not true, I do not like being surprised. But I like certain kinds of surprises very, very much.

Hmm. Speaking of surprises. I like this kind. Wheee! Digression! Where are we going?

Let me follow this rabbit hole for a minute and see what I know about this, because who knows, maybe it’s useful in the context of 2013: Year of The Mysterious Mystery Bagel.

Surprises I do not like:

Parties. Oh dear god never make a surprise party for me.

Also definitely do not propose marriage to me in public! Or at all, actually.

Unless you are that super great person from my last teleclass-thing who proposed by email: that was adorable and I like you.

Surprises I like:

What is going to happen next? What kind of delicious sandwich are you making me right this second? What colors are the secret flowers going to be?

What delightful crazy adventure are we going to have today? Oh, hello, day! What kind of marvelous trouble are we going to get up to today?!

Also surprises like the one that is happening right now. I thought I was writing a post about 2013 and possible about bagels, but now I’m investigating my relationship with the word and experience of being surprised. I like this.

I like discovery. Discovery and play. This is probably not news. Anyway.

Sometimes I want to be surprised but not very surprised.

Ahhh. Yes. What I really want is just a taste of the surprise.

Like when I go to the Monkey and get a Wicked Awesome on a mystery bagel.

The sandwich is not the surprise, just the bagel. And really it’s not a surprise at all because they’re kind of expecting it. And then Grey and I will laugh about this, which is also not a surprise.

It’s a tiny surprise, wrapped up inside of comforting ritual and wanting-what-you-want.

It’s warmth and familiarity, with an element of not-knowing. You open doors that lead to unknown places, except you set off for these adventure from a state of great steadiness. Steadiness and comfort.

As opposed to a giant falling-apart-of-everything-you-know, which is a pretty accurate description of what 2012 looked like for me.

So yes. I’m thinking about this new year.

And I’m thinking about conscious entry, and I’m thinking about bagels. Mystery bagels. Also mystery in general.

Because the two main things I want for this coming/incoming/already-here new year are not at all contradictory. But they might seem to be on the surface.

I want things that I’m putting under the category of VITALITY:

Liveliness. Passage. Voyage. Adventure. Pleasure. Delight. Wonder. Exploration. Treasure. Life force.

And I want things that I’m putting under the category of SHELTER:

Ease. Mildness. Oh, beautiful mildness. Sweetness. Resonance. Grounding. Sanctuary. Rest.

Wonderfully exciting things happen. But softly. There is harmoniousness and congruence. Spaciousness and presence. And gentleness. So much gentleness.

And most of all: there is time.

That’s what I want.

With no internal contradictions. All of these lovely qualities of the voyage are related to each other. They’re not mutually exclusive.

I want to believe that I can have adventure and mildness, surprises and familiarity, newness and comfort. In all kinds of different ever-changing configurations.

I want to know in the deepest possible way that these qualities somehow enhance each other instead of being at odds canceling each other out. And I don’t have to know how.

What else to I want to experience in 2013?

A conscious, loving, play-filled relationship between me and myself, between me and everything I encounter.

Extraordinary sandwiches. Not a euphemism.

Voyages and proxy-voyages.

The humming castle. Moving in to the humming castle.

Supporting the hum of the humming castle by humming my own happy hum, by caring for the well-being of my own happy hum.

What it is like to not be depleted, to not run my life from a state of depletion: this is the purpose of year, my sabbatmobile secret-sabbatical, and also of the Year of Emptying & Replenishing. Password: compass


Because everything is better with secret agent code.

Operation TREASURE is the compass/container that holds everything I want to do, feel and experience in 2013.

It contains all the superpowers of Mystery Bagels, Mysterious Bagels, and mystery in general. It contains everything I like about surprises, and everything I like about safety.

And all the qualities that are not-at-all contradictions.

Also, like many of my secret spy ops, it’s a secret acrostic, because that makes everything better.

In Operation T.R.E.A.S.U.R.E., the qualities come in pairs:

Trust and Tingliness.
Resilience and Receptivity.
Effortlessness and Effervescence.
Anticipation and Adventure.
Sovereignty and Serendipity.
Unity and Uncovering.
Resonance and Radiance.
Ease and Excitement.

Hello, 2013. Come in, come in! With sweetness and delight.

We’re already nearly a month into this new year.

And for me this process of entry has required some time. That’s part of what I’m working on this year: letting things take as long as they take, resisting the urge to hurry them along.

Hello, shining new year.

Here’s my commitment:

To take exquisite care of myself, when I can, if I can, to the best of my ability.

To spend as much time as possible getting quiet, breathing, getting close to the ground.

To spend time with you, my year. To be with you at the beach and at the cafe and at the Playground and at Stompopolis. To taste you in every bagel. To blow you kisses and whisper sweet words of love.

To care for you by taking care of me.

To release rules about how things should be, how you should be, how I should be, what I should be doing with you. To let it all be a wonderful surprise.

Come in, come in, come in. Let’s play.

Play with me! The commenting blanket fort.

You can also play with the new year if you like: plant wishes, whisper the whisperings.

I am also receptive to: hearts, pebbles, things sparked for you, warm wishes for this new-ish year, naming of qualities that you like, silly names for bagels, any or all of the above.

As always, Playground culture applies: we are all taking a break from advice-giving and caretaking. We’re here to be and to play.

Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers, and everyone who reads.

14 Responses to Year of The Mystery. And the Bagel. Come in, come in!

  1. Hannah Savannah
    Twitter: Hannah_Savannah

    Humming with you and for this vision. LOVE the T.R.E.A.S.U.R.E. compass.
    <3 <3 <3

  2. KimBoo York
    Twitter: kimboo_york

    This post really spoke to me – 2012 was a very hard year for me, emotionally and health-wise. I have high hopes for 2013, in fact it is already starting off positively, but it’s been more of a slowwww launch than jumping off a spring board.

    I love Operation T.R.E.A.S.U.R.E.! What a great commitment to make to yourself. <3
    KimBoo York recently posted… Stop Waiting for Perfect

  3. JenniferA
    Twitter: jaskey

    I think I’m hungry now. A poppy seed bagel that is the colour of poppies.
    Conscious entry; calm energy; walking like a guru. That’s where it’s at this week. I hope that is where it’s at this year–which is possible if I stop, look around and re-enter with intention. (And can I drag my family with me through the crossing? How does that work??)

  4. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Hello, 2013! I am excited to be with you.

    I do have a silly name for a bagel! How about a Key Bagel? Because lox should have a key. And I do like lox.

    I am planting wishes for lightness, ease, affection, intuition, and joy.

    Kathleen Avins recently posted… Permission to speak freely.

  5. Kate
    Twitter: omshantikate


    THIS really spoke to me, because it is EXACTLY why I want to move into an RV, because I am a homebody who LOVES to travel, I crave new places and people and experiences while I NEED to be surrounded with my own familiar place.

    Nowhere is home. Everywhere is home.
    Kate recently posted… Soap of the Month (6 months)

  6. VickiB says:

    I love everything about this delicious post. May you have everything this year that you ask for, shelter, vitality, play, discovery, all of that.

  7. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Year of de-layering? (molting?)
    Year of delay-ering? (taking more time with things?)
    Year of de-lair-ing? (cleaning house?)

    I shall sleep on this.

    Warm wishes to all… and choice spreads and spreadings-out to those who wants ’em.
    Mechaieh recently posted… thinking of trees

  8. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Year of de-layering? (molting?)
    Year of delay-ering? (taking more time with things?)
    Year of de-lair-ing? (cleaning house?)

    I shall sleep on this.

    Warm wishes to all… and choice spreads and spreadings-out to those who wants ’em.
    Mechaieh recently posted… thinking of trees

  9. VickiB says:

    “To take exquisite care of myself, when I can, if I can, to the best of my ability.”

    The more I think about this, the more I like it. The Superpower of Taking Exquisite Care of Myself. I want that for myself too.

    I love your possibilities for the year. I see de-layering and de-lair-ing as closely related; maybe delay-ering fits with the molting and cleaning too?

  10. Claire McAll
    Twitter: making_space

    2013. Hello.

    May you contain everything that I need to discover. May I remember to accept everything you offer with grace.

    May this be the year I learn to listen humbly to my patient, unswervingly loyal, hardworking body, and to respect the decisions it has made about when to move, when to rest, when to eat and what. Humbly, humbly, gratefully, devotedly.

    May this be the year I learn to stay grounded in MY experience, even as the gale-force winds of somebody’s story about me, for good or ill, swirl around me. What is MY truth? What is true for me here?

    May this be the year I learn the arts of sourcery: of knowing and knowing more deeply, that everything that I need lies within me, that external sources of qualities I seek are mirrors to those that lie within me. May this be the year I learn how to strengthen my connections to my internal wells of any qualities I seek.

    May this be the year I learn to speak, quietly, calmly, steadily, lucidly, truthfully. With a humility that offers infinity within it: who am I not to speak?

    May this be the year I learn to listen. To get quiet, to do less, to rest more, to stop more, to fight less, to think less release my thoughts faster, to UNdo, to shavasana two, three, seven, twelve times a day. To LISTEN. To be HERE. Now. To BE. Here, now.

    2013, it seems you are the year of Deep Listening.

    Om, baby.

  11. Vvvvvvv says:

    Warm wishes for the hello-ing to the year (or even bellowing).

    Speaking of surprise, it just sparked that “getting close to the ground” may not involve (for me) the sniffing of my suspiciously dark carpet. Could it be… ground could be a metaphor [feign look of shock]?

    Let’s talk the ground of electricity: Two opposite qualities seeking a third prong to keep ’em safe! Thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Requires Sin! or sinfully good feelings.

    Let’s talk the ground of painting: The clean canvas, not knowing if it will be surprised by Impressionists or Postmodernists. Or old patterns or new epiphanies.

    Let’s talk the ground of gardening: Smells like shit until it smells like flowers. Bulbs are a real surprise to me–love notes I don’t remember planting.

    Bagel name for derby: Hole-y Roller!

    A full month of entry into 2013–now that feels lovely and luxurious, a real TREASURE! And worthwhile. Because I need more noticing of the qualities I want.

  12. Elizabeth
    Twitter: Elizabetherself

    Exquisite self care, I am so saying yay to that!

    I am in my little holding zone container until April-ish. But I’ve got a lead on the new thang. It is: more structured meditation/mornings in a way that manages not to be tiring/a drag. Really staring down and acknowledging my strengths and making the next plan with the intention of not taking them for granted any more. Which wil maybe require some re-biggification, which is exciting to do with boundaries now. What are my strucures going to be? Last time I had no idea I could do it however I wanted, so that is actually exciting. The thing where now the run-ins with internet hazards like trolls and overload is now the norm rather than the exception is oddly making me feel safer dipping a toe back in. Even 2 years ago that was not remotely true.

    Also, envisioning the future rather than feeling so scared of it. Saying goodbye to anxiousness, that would be nice.

  13. Leni says:

    Oh this post made me smile so much! Flowers and hearts and heart-sighs.

    This resonates because I’m so excited about 2013 and all the adventures to come with the YEAR and othe things. I’ve been praying with Conscious Entry and Embarking and the Time Book and now The Three!

    WEhen I was getting ready for New Years, I pulled a Druid Oraccle card to see who was my ally in 2013, and it was Earth Dragon. Earth Dragon is baout being connected to source in the deepest, most sustaingin ways and also about finding, digging up and guarding our TREASURE. So I’ve been calling 2013, the Year of Treasure! See, resonance!

    2013, I love being with you, and breathinbg and humming into all the great things we’re going to do and be toegther.

    2013, you started with lots of MapMaking and Settling Courses. You began with play and you are filled with wonder, and newness and tranformation. It’s already started.

    2013, I intend to care for msyelf very well this year and i hope you will sparkle from all the loving care.

    You are already full of gifts and saupport and allies and Crew Members and so much squee I can hardly stand it.

    Exceptional sandwiches would be nice too!

    So excited to be shipping out on the YEAR. So grateful for this community and this beautiful culture you’ve created Havi. THANK YOU ALL!

  14. R says:

    To feel safe feeling the feelings… to be able to say when you do X, I feel Y… instead of blaming. Giving my feelings legitimacy. I don’t need a Parent to tell me it’s okay to feel. It just is. Safety Bagel… because bagels look like life preservers and they are uber comforting. Taking the self-awareness/inquiry up a notch… requires more safety bagels.

Leave a reply

CommentLuv badge