:)

Happy Wednesday.

@Nina – you rock, my dear. No need to feel ick necessary! I mean, I can’t stop you from feeling ick — whatever you feel is okay by me. Just that I think you’re marvelous.

@Kathleen – hi! *waves* I definitely know the sobbing on the bathroom floor thing too (and the “really? can’t I have a different protective mechanism?” thing), so wishing you what you need. And sending love.

@jon – you know, I think my definition of surviving might be different from yours. and personal definitions get touchy and complex.

which is kind of why I avoid the advices, because I don’t want to define someone else’s experience, or for them to define mine.

For me (personal definition), avoiding total breakdown counts as survival and is a positive, while thriving isn’t a word that I like. To me it sounds like a life-coach-ey word.

For you thriving might be awesome. And if survival is an uncomfortable thing for you or a whiny thing for you, you don’t have to use it ever, and that’s cool.

Since my ask is for me and not for you, that’s why you don’t get to redefine it for me. And I don’t get to redefine yours. Fair?

Thanks for this forum and your all-around general awesomeness!

My ask last time involved figuring out how to get my 7th grade band to be less dysfunctional. Lo and behold, I split them into small groups, sent them off to work, and most of them actually worked! Since they were such terrors as a group, I didn’t really trust them to work unattended, but they did all right. Now I have a better idea of what they really can and can’t do. Still lots of work ahead, but gosh, I feel so much better about them and that the rest of the year might actually get better instead of worse. Weehoo.

This week I’m going to a conference. I know it’ll be good, but My Ask is that it is totally magical.

What I Want: I want to have my brain turned inside out, scrubbed clean, reinstalled, and to come back super-jazzed about teaching music.

How This Might Work: It’s a ridiculously large expectation, but it’s what I want, so I think my best bet is to just stay open and not force the issue.

My Commitment: I promise not to be disappointed if it seems less than magical. I promise be patient and wait for the magic to work. I promise not to let all the good ideas distract me and keep me from keeping things simple. (I get excited.)

I’m going to flagrantly ignore your entreaty against “Shoulds”. My apologies. I won’t do it again. But you’ve hit a nerve with the whole “surviving” thing. Survival is totally overrated. We place so much importance on being a survivor, when really surviving is the lowest possible hurdle. Look both ways before you cross the street, don’t eat the red berries and that’s about it. You survived another day. Mazel tov. So next time you want to ask to survive, may I humbly suggest asking to thrive instead (it even rhymes with survive so it’s easy to remember). Surviving is easy. Thriving requires a certain amount of brio (brio – a good underused word).

Massive exception to the overratedness of survival: of course among our tribe the word “Survivor” can have an entirely different meaning. Much respect to the Survivors of the world.

As for my own personal ad, it goes like this. I just bought a car. Given the rising price of gas, climate change and my growing family, I bought the most prctical car I could find: a 12-year old German sports car. Alas it seems I am being punished for my hubris. The check engine light just came on. I am asking for the underlying cause to be exceedingly minor (ill-fitting gas cap perhaps?). How could this work? The ancient Bavarian deities that govern my 190 hp 2.8 liter inline 6 could be merciful and kind. My commitment: If it all turns out ok I will treat said engine to the finest lubricant money can buy.

That felt good. Thanks!

Being in the arts has a wonderful way of reinforcing the notion that art is for love alone. What a misconception,but one that seems to stick nonetheless. I was offered to guest write on a very popular craft blog, but no mention of compensation.

I wrote back assuming they paid and asked about my rights and all that biz stuff. The response was that we do not pay contributors at this time.

I still accepted because I really respect the site and love to write; however, I wonder if I put myself in the situation of being not paid more than I know??

What is my VPA these days? I want to be a business women who stand up for herself.
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last post … What-if Fridays =-.

Hugs all around chickens.

For me to feel less vulnerable, foolish and judgemental of myself for having shared too much online and not respected the boundaries of this space! For me to practise compassion to myself, to feel less guilt, more kindness and understanding.

For some really nourishing, light work which will pay all my bills and give me the security I crave to come into my life this week.

To keep tapping into my creative flow and to start developing a tasty action plan to do the thing I wanna do.

My commitment

To work on my stuff. To remind myself to be compassionate to myself at all times. To ask for what I need. To be brave and gentle with myself at the same time.

How these things could come to me

I don’t know about the firt one. I feel too ick to say anything out loud. But umm just to know that I am ok with myself and my growth stumbling, falling, picking myself up again. To feel more ok being imperfect even online and in sight of people.

The nourishing light work may come to me via a friend, via the website I wrote a blog on, via a friend who knows a friend who knows a….out of the blue, via an agency I have joined or an application I have completed, via the network of people who access here even and are based in London!

I’ll know because I’ll have a greater grasp of how to create a blog and what the stages in this are. I’ll begin to create some semblance of order with all my articles/ideas and may even get the chance to edit one or two so they are ready enough to go for the future. To keep allowing ideas to come to the surface, to enjoy that inspired, yummy feeling, to take a few steps to make this thing real by sharing the specifics of it with the right people in some way. My confidence will grow. I’ll have some things I can do to make it real. Maybe three small but siginifcant things by the end of the week.