very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let us doooo eeeet.

And let us say WAH. Because somehow I feel better whenever I say WAH.

Thing 1: more of this beautiful thing please!

Here’s what I want:

My writing has been such a place of comfort this past week. ELATION!

Now I am on my week of teaching-recovery-just-for-me time in New Mexico and I would love to remain in this state of flow … or to progress to the next state of whatever-it-is that is also pleasurable and good for my writing ….

Not sure how to phrase this one. Hmmm.

May the muses or the shining ones (or the magical properties of green chiles) keep smiling upon me. Something like that.

Ways this could work:

Who knows?

I’ve been trying to examine and analyze the components of what made this past week so outstanding.

Included in this are so many elements and components that came together to make the container for the writing retreat. Among them:

  • being away from home and the familiar
  • daily Shiva Nata with dedicated time and space for it
  • daily Old Turkish Lady yoga with dedicated time and space for it
  • daily teaching, which is always good for my brain and my heart
  • designated writing time during which thirty other women in this sisterhood of writers were also scribbling away
  • labyrinthing my stucknesses (taking them into the labyrinth and untangling-walking them out)
  • hand-writing my pre-writing invocation before beginning
  • deciding what questions to ask before sitting down to write
  • only writing things that have to do with Very Interior Design — in this case, learning about my relationship to my stuff and not working on my actual writing project as a way to sneakily write the project.

It is impossible to know right now which of these — if any — are the vital ones. So I’m going to need lots of experimentation, and some luck.

My commitment.

To notice how I feel. What supports me and what doesn’t.

To pay attention whenever I make use of one or more of these components, and to take notes on what works and what doesn’t.

To ask my gentleman friend to help me with maintaining uninterrupted time for just writing. Well, to make a distinction that is clear to both of us about when I am writing and when I am doing work-related things and it is okay to approach.

Thing 2: Rally!

Here’s what I want:

Last week I had an ask about the Rally, and while I got lots of good thinking done related to it, I still haven’t done anything with it.

I’d like to find out what needs to happen in order for us to rally together. And maybe even take some steps.

Ways this could work:

Writing it love letters.

Interviewing myself about it.

Lots of Dance of Shiva. Outdoors, when possible.

My commitment.

To stay receptive and curious.

To not beat myself up over the fact that there has only been internal, not external movement on this yet.

Or: if I do feel frustrated with myself, to give that reaction the legitimacy to exist, even if I’d rather not be in it.

To be as playful and silly and ridiculous as possible in my approach to figuring out what this Rally thing needs.

Thing 3: rest

Here’s what I want:

Lots and lots of rest.

Body rest. Mental rest.

Turning not-doing into an extreme sport. Extreme not doing!

Ways this could work:


Not napping, but closing my eyes.

Getting bath salts and hiding in the tub. Slow slow slow yoga.

Booking some sort of frou-frou spa body treatment where they slather goo all over you and then let you just stay there while the goo does its gooey good-for-you thing.

Yes, there will be much goo-slathering.

I could possibly go to see a film with my gentleman friend, if we can find something HSP-friendly.

Walking without purpose.

Breathing clean mountain air. I’m sure there are other things too, and I can’t think of any more. If you have loving deshouldified suggestions, I am happy to receive them in the comments.

My commitment.

To get over my phone phobia stuff long enough to book the slathering of goo. Gah. Why do not more places let you book online?

To find out more about this rest-thing and my relationship to it.

(Actually, I’ve already been writing to it and about it all week, so we are much better friends than we used to be, but to keep that up).

To remember.

Thing 4: Good things for Chris.

Here’s what I want:

Y’all probably know Chris Anthony aka @etherjammer, as he is a regular here and a commenter mouse and a delightful human being. Speaking of delight:

Delight is a big part of his thing and his message — specifically appreciating it, and planting seeds of it in your business to help your Right People fall madly in love with you.

He is doing a Delightineering thing! I don’t know anything about it yet, but I invited him to leave a description of it as part of his Very Personal Ad today.

My wish: may his new project receive the loving attention it deserves and may he feel safe and comfortable letting it be seen.

Ways this could work:

Actually, I’m kind of hoping that this will help. Other ways are good too.

My commitment.

To wish all sorts of good things for him, as I’m sure you will too.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted to remember that my writing retreat isn’t for the writing. It’s for learning about my relationship to the writing.

That ended up being my focus for the week. I was always in it. And it worked nisim v’niflaot (miracles and wonders!), so I’m feeling extremely relieved and happy about that. What a perfect ask.

I wanted help maintaining my space while teaching, and that was also a huge focus of my week and my teaching (encouraging my lovely students to mess around with creative and kooky ways to maintain their space and feel comfortable there).

The funny thing is that I do not even slightly remember asking this last week, but that really ended up being the theme. So very glad that I did ask. Yay.

And I wanted something to happen with the Rally and it totally hasn’t, but I’m actually fine with that. And I sense that I know what direction I want to take with it. We’ll see. I’ll let you know next week.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me

The Fluent Self