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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Very Personal Ads #56: Rallying it up

very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let’s dooo eeeet.

Thing 1: Remembering what I already know, again.

Here’s what I want:

I managed to put myself in a mini-tizzy last week trying to figure out what to focus on in my own writing during the fabulous Writer’s Retreat I’m teaching at in Taos.

After going back and forth between six different (and equally compelling) options, I did some Dance of Shiva on it, which delivered the following mini-epiphany:

This week isn’t for the writing. It’s for learning about my relationship to the writing.

So. Instead of working on the book, I’m going to be writing love letters to the book. Having monster conversations. Using my own techniques and documenting them.

For the book, yeah.

But with the intention not of writing it, but of finding out more about my relationship with it.

And what I want is to remember this.

Ways this could work:

I can leave myself little notes.

Make this the intention of my daily shivanautical wackiness.

I can start each day’s writing by consciously choosing one technique that I want to play with. Like, what happens if I bring in Metaphor Mouse to learn more about different aspects of how I interact with writing?)

Or maybe it can just happen.

My commitment.

To do whatever needs doing to release some of that pressure to hurry up and create something meaningful right this second while you have a chance.

To be curious and receptive and inquisitive.

To ask smart questions.

To not take myself or any of this too seriously. Play! We will play!

To walk the labyrinth with Selma.

Thing 2: Maintaining space.

Here’s what I want:

I know about my tendency to overdo. And especially to over-give.

And it’s time to (sweetly) mess around with that pattern and see what moves.

Since I’ll be teaching all week, this is a good test environment to practice in.

Ways this could work:

Reminding myself that it’s time. I’m ready to get better at scooping out time and space for myself. On purpose. As a way of being.

And letting that be not only legitimate, but vital.

Clearly this calls for more Shiva Nata. And some talking to walls.

My commitment.

To pay attention. To notice things.

To not be impressed by the fact that yeah, this is still an issue.

To breathe breathe breathe.

To write about what I learn.

Thing 3: the Rally!

Here’s what I want:

Okay. So I still really want a Rally.

And haven’t had much time for this.

So. I’m going to try to throw together a first run version. Of the Rally.

A little messy, a little casual, a little hilarious .

Invite some people. Rally it up. See what happens.

Like a pre-rally rally. A taster rally. A starter rally. I don’t know.

And then we can expand it into something bigger and more formal.

Ways this could work:

No idea.

But I’m going to write about this and something will happen.

My commitment.

To stay receptive to different creative, fun, lighthearted, playful ways that this could be awesome.

To practice the things I’m already practicing.

To invent some new rally-related rituals.

To have the First Mate make inquiries about possible fabulous schwag.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I asked for perfect simple solutions for the computer-in-a-coma problem. And it was good.

My ancient iBook miraculously hung in there (I think I can I think I can!) and was able to mostly work. The Apple people fixed my laptop. We got through five days of stressfulness and nothing fell apart. Including me. So yay.

Then I wanted support with the enormous variety of things that needed to fall into place, and that also worked better than expected/hoped for.

A lot also didn’t get done, but there was more ease than I’d thought possible. And I had some outrageously great Shivanautical epiphanies. Nice.

And I had an ask about simplicity and elegance that is still … percolating. I think I need to ask this one again when I know a little more about this. Very interesting, in the mean time.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.

26 Responses to Very Personal Ads #56: Rallying it up

  1. Nicole says:

    the starter rally might be a Sally – as in sally forth?

  2. Hiro Boga
    Twitter: HiroBoga

    Havi, wishing you a wonderful, love-letter-to-book-writing, sovereign and restful retreat! I can’t wait to see what you cook up for your pre-rally Rally.

    My VPA this week:

    For rest, ease and flow this weekend, and for a relaxed,lovely time with my visiting family.

    My commitment:

    To sleep in, stay mindful and lie down when I need to. To be very gentle with my body. To be receptive to all the goodness that surrounds me.

    Wishing you all the magical fulfillment of your own VPA’s this week.

    Love, Hiro
    .-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Going Away =-.

  3. Tori Deaux
    Twitter: ToriDeaux

    Oh… OH! Using a writers retreat to work on the process, and the relationship to writing? OH!! Love letters to the book — ohohohOH!

    Ok, that inspires my Very Personal Ad this week. I want reminders that I’m *in love* with my about-to-be-born new Thing. I want to have the time, space and energy to write a love letter. Or a series of love letters. Or create a ritual of writing weekly love letters. My commitment? To give myself permission to be in love with The Circus. To give myself the physical and emotional space & time to do this. So… Ahem.

    Dear Exceptional Letters of Love,

    Would you come into my world, and help me refine and express my absolute adoration of this THING that is coming into the world? I promise to give you all the room and fancy papers and inks that you want for this project.

    Thank you EVER so much,
    Ringmistress of the MindTweaking Circus

    P.S. I’d also like to dust off the Shiva Nata dvd and flail. I don’t know that you Letters can help me with that, but… there it is.
    .-= Tori Deaux´s last post … Needful Things! The Yes-I’m-Still-Breathing Edition =-.

  4. communicatrix
    Twitter: communicatrix

    Ooo! I love the decision to spend time thinking about the relationship with your book. Way to reframe! Way to go! (Although of course, my mind being the warped ball of wacko it is immediately thought of a Playboy centerfold pic of your book, with that page of “Turn-ons/Turn-offs”/etc that always accompanies it. Hahaha. Problems, I has them.)

    UPDATE! Well, everything magically resolved itself within 48 hours of the request, and not at all in the way(s) I was expecting. So yeah, I’m a fan of the VPA.


    What I want (#1): To get everything done on this list today. This MONSTER list that must be addressed b/c this is the week of (good but) crowded.

    Ways this might work: Problem-solving ideas flow like water! Help falls out of the sky! All the stuff I am worried about having to write just flows, also like water!

    My commitment: Nei Kung first. Breaks for play, even though they are “impossible” in my tiny brain. Hell, I Ching, even!

    What I want (#2): For this week’s travel to unfold with grace and ease, and all my meetings fall into place, and all my deliverables are impeccable.

    Ways this might work: Middle seat is magically unoccupied both ways. Or someone takes pity on my and upgrades me to the front of the bus. Everyone’s schedule works out perfectly and I get to see all the people on my list, even though in no way is there enough time. I channel Big Colleen and get out of the way when she’s on a roll. Aaaaand?

    My commitment: Nei Kung daily. Walking as much as possible (oh, god, I cannot WAIT to walk). Resting as I need to so I can recharge. Taking the alone time I need. Eating and drinking delicious things. Playing!
    .-= communicatrix´s last post … Frrrrriday Rrrrround-up! =-.

  5. Heidi
    Twitter: HeidiDobbs

    Oh I love that Nicole, a Sally! :D

    I’ve been immersed in my tiny sweet, thing, and I think she might just be ready for her test run. So this week’s VPA is for her.

    What I want:
    For this to be a resounding success. For the people I’m announcing my tiny, sweet thing to, to be as excited and thrilled by it as I am… and for them to sign up in droves. Or at least in a mini-drove, so that I can actually accommodate them.

    Ways this could work:
    It just could.
    I could find ways to bring it to the community’s attention that are exciting, but not annoying.
    My allies could talk it up for me, and get other people excited.

    My commitment:
    To release my tiny, sweet thing into the world with grace and love.
    To have zero expectations of how it should go, so that I can enjoy the experience of this first of many sweet things to come.
    To remind myself of my sovereignty, so that the way in which I announce my thing is less likely to step on the toes of other peoples’ sovereignty.
    To breathe!
    .-= Heidi´s last post … Book Review- Kooky Pets =-.

  6. Lindsay says:

    What I want:
    To become better at telling people what I really think, especially in business situations. Or, in another form, telling people that “yeah, I thought I would be able to do that, but now I’ve tried it and I don’t like it and so don’t want to do it that way, even if you think it should be done that way”.

    Ways this could work:
    I could suddenly just understand why this would actually make everyone feel better because I’m not helping anyone by running around with my commitments not matched up with my intentions, or my feelings.
    I don’t know. So I’m willing to be surprized.
    This person could open a dialogue with me whereby I’d feel more comfortable explaining myself.

    My commitment:
    To be patient with myself because this is a big stuckness and it’s been here a long time.
    To write about it. And draw pictures. And to keep envisioning ways to do it.
    To notice what’s going on while I process this. And take notes.
    To take breaks during this process where I give myself permission to not be actively solving this problem. Just letting it float around and marinade a little.
    Sovereignty Kindergarten!

    Progress report on last time:
    I couldn’t remember last week’s VPA so I looked it up and it made me laugh! I wanted to lighten up!
    There was some good movement there. This week was filled with construction and crisis and looking back on in now there were many times when I laughed, or just sighed and just let things be as they were. And that helped a lot. It’s like they always say, “if you ask god (or the universe) for patience, what you get is opportunities to practice!”.

  7. Liz
    Twitter: lizemmettmattox

    I love the idea of a writing retreat to focus on something besides the actual writing… definitely food for thought.

    VPA time!

    What I want: a mad rush of productivity to get the little baby thing ready to go. This is really the week- my son is away at camp so I have 4 solid days to kick ass and take names. So that’s what I want. 4 solid days. Culminating in a package of goodies that’s ready to roll out when I push the ‘go’ button. I’m asking for inspiration and flow for the content, and smooth sailing on the technical bits and pieces.

    Ways this could work: I have my list, of what needs doing, some things are already in process (blog notes, etc.), so I can just take it one step at a time. I think I need a costume or ritual or something for this week of ass-kicking productivity. I’m thinking along the lines of a leather jacket and biker gear, though it’s a bit warm for that! will give this more thought.
    As for the technical bits- I know there are some things I’m going to have to figure out for the first time- so that could just be easy. Or I could remember to ask for help when I get stuck. I could be surprised!

    My commitment: to look at my list and dive in. To ask for help when I need it, and not let myself get isolated. Shiva Nata as necessary. Find the ass-kicking costume and wear it. Remembering that it’s not about me.
    .-= Liz´s last post … Summertime and the Livin’ Ain’t Easy part 2 =-.

  8. Beth says:

    Two VPAs this week.

    Thing I Want (#1): For the next four days to pass without panic attacks, without close shaves, without chaos, and with a great deal of success. Or, at least, not failure.

    Ways this could work: I can keep studying my little brain out for the Giant Test of Doom. I can let myself be slightly obsessive about retaining control where I feel that need. I can make sure that logistics are, well, as managed as I can make them. I can assure myself repeatedly that there are worse things than failure, even if that does happen.

    My commitment: To breathe. To let things pass around me without feeling like I must give them all attention. To at least lie down in quiet and dark for eight hours a night, whether or not I succeed in sleeping for that time (and to not worry too much about it if I don’t). To breathe more.

    Thing I Want (#2): For the two days after that to be a positively scrumptious recovery.

    Ways this could work: Everything I have planned could go off without a hitch. Or close. Or, it could not, but still work out well.

    My commitment: To completely abuse my soaking tub privileges. To go get a facial. To nap excessively. To not let it matter too much. And to pack ahead of time so I don’t forget things…

    Good luck for everybody’s VPA’s and start to the week!

  9. carrie
    Twitter: carriemoore

    YES. thinking about my relationship to the thing… not necessarily The Thing! I like that and will be mindful of it as I get stressed over small things.

    1. what I want: to take comfort in creative expression. to find solace in it. to sketch or make paper garlands or whatever, in the quiet hours I take for myself at night.

    ways this could work: settle in for the night earlier so I’m not so tired that I am not motivated to pick up a pen or hole punch or glue. take some time that is earlier in the day, not at the end of it instead. be clear and express to my family that I Need this time. it is important to me.

    my commitment: to not get upset with myself when I don’t create something. to allow myself to find comfort and solace in other things if I need to. to pick up a pen and sketchbook for at least 5 minutes. I can do 5 minutes no matter how tired.

    2. What I want: Patience with the people and culture here. inner calm instead of festering, boiling anger. (ugh the racism! fox news! NO recycling! uuuggghhh) To remember it is their ‘stuff’ and not mine. I am not responsible or guilty for the awful things I hear and see. To remember I have transformed and that I am not ‘one of them’ even though I grew up here.

    ways this could work: maybe I need a selma of my own to remind me I’m not stuck here, or alone in it. I need a Portland mascot, totem, trinket… something I can focus on when the anger boils up. Other than that, I don’t know how this can work. mindfulness… lots of it. understanding and patience too.

    my commitment: to try and remember what it was like when this was my world too.. my understanding of things… to speak up from a place of sovereignty when necessary, or keep quiet and grit my teeth when I have to. to stay grounded in who I have become and why and how.

  10. jessie
    Twitter: roomtosmile

    my big big ask this week:

    Thing #1: A sense of closure
    i am leaving tomorrow, not just a city where i’ve for all intents and purposes grown up in every possible way, but also this stage of my life. like joseph, it’s been 7 years, and every part of me tells me a new cycle is starting (although hopefully not one filled with starving cows!). and change and i often, often quarrel, and i’ve not been one to be so great at goodbyes, and i really, really, really feel my heart twist up when i think about getting on the plane tomorrow.

    so my first ask this week is for a smooth, heart-centered and grace-filled leaving.

    ways this could work:
    it just could! magic!
    i could write a love letter to this time in my life.
    i could create a ritual.
    i could make a list of the things i want to make sure to do before i go (from the practical to the only-makes-sense-to-me)
    i could be aware that i’m having the experience i’m trying to create. sometimes i forget this.

    my commitment:
    to accept what happens today.
    to write a love letter, even one with rough drafts.
    to write a welcome letter, even one that’s imperfect.
    to breathe, and be soft with myself.

  11. Rupa
    Twitter: theyogaofliving

    Havi, I loved your “hurry up and create something meaningful right this second while you have a chance” monster. It’s like trying to pee with someone telling you to GO! Why do we do this to ourselves?

    You’re wise to just do something totally different. And when the pressure’s off, whatever comes out of your pen (or keyboard) will be just the thing. :)

    Sending you love.
    .-= Rupa´s last post … The Myth of Balance =-.

  12. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    @carrie *hugs*

    My VPAs for this week are super personal and written somewhere private.

    Last week I wanted to feel less isolated and more connected and things are definitely happening and I’ve realised that I have a lot of questions to ask myself about this.

  13. Andi
    Twitter: annaline_39

    Thanks to your first ask, I had the realization that I could set an intention to spend a week working on my relationship with my creations, as if I were on retreat. And frame it with beginning and ending rituals so I know that this is the time for that. Thank you. I send you good wishes for your ask as well. :)

    The ease in sales continue to happen, in fits and starts. Last weekend someone bought a little house collage, zap! And I sold another mini quilt, pow! Sweetness.

    This week, Marty returns to school and structure is imposed on my world again. So my ask is for a seamless transition back into the world of schedules and deadlines.

    How this can happen: By me letting go of unrealistic expectations. Of writing down what I would like to get accomplished this week so it is out of my head and onto paper where it is more manageable. By magic and miracles and grace. Donkey (local coffee shop) time and bike path time.

    My commitment: To be gentle with myself and with the others in the household. To rest when I need to, to remember to ask for what I need, to remember that “no” is an acceptable answer, from all parties. To pause and do Shiva Nata very slowly when I feel overwhelm creeping up.
    .-= Andi´s last post … All in the Family =-.

  14. lynn @ human, being
    Twitter: humanbeingblog

    love the Sally too. Sally the Rally. Woot!

    All I want this week is to stop the body pattern that we thought was solved through the “procedure” but that started up again.

    How it could work: I don’t know. But it can’t involve more of the drug from hell.

    My commitment: To listen to my doctor instead of telling her what I want to do. To do some research and ask her the hard questions. To be open to the possibilities. To maybe even dust off the shiva nata dvd and see if I can get an epiphany about what my body is trying to tell me. To cry when I need to cry.
    .-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … The car goes where the eyes go =-.

  15. Briana
    Twitter: brianaaldrich

    @Carrie, hearing you about being in a place that doesn’t feel like *you*. And benefiting from your thoughtful ideas: A Selma-esque mascot = brilliant.

    Sometimes VPA’s are spookily magical. Like my last one, which is still towing the line. And the one I scribbled yesterday in my journal to post here today, which already had a few nibbles so now I’m choosing a fresh one.

    Wishing everybody the best VPA juju.

    What I want:
    A lesson plan that feels useful, fun, creative, fresh – that I feel proud and excited to teach.

    Ways it could come:
    Something in my own process could inspire a new idea.
    Someone *else* could come up with a brilliant plan.
    I could see a new frame in the outline and scribbles I already have.
    Shiva Nata.
    Other stuff I don’t know about yet.

    My commitment:
    To spend some time (at least a tiny bit) with it every day this week.
    To remember that creating the container and intention for us is the biggest part.
    To be inspired by whatever feels fun and easy, because that’s totally the point.

    (And, okay, more spooky. Because I just had a tiny idea inspired by #1 under ways it could come. I heart VPAs.)
    .-= Briana´s last post … Work Party Wednesday- If it ain’t broke… =-.

  16. Bullwinkle says:

    I think we could dress Sally up in a fun spy costume. ;)

    This week I’ve been submerged in reminding myself not to wish for one thing or another with respect to a Very Big Hard Thing. (All options suck, all are out of my hands, it is not my life in the balance nor is it my place to decide.) (Update from last weeks VPA: ‘Broken Cousin’ still very broken. Small Child, very confused. So sad.)

    I think this is spilling over into my “unsure what to do next” mindset. I’m sure I need to stay grounded and safe and dance and journal and generally take care of myself and my loved ones. (I’m collecting lists of techniques to remind myself.)

    My VPA: I want the self-discipline to not only notice what I need but the sovereign respect of myself to take care of that need.

    Ways this could work:
    It just could.
    I could ask for reminders (and put notes and email alerts and alarms out to remind myself.)
    The universe could let up ;)

    My committment:
    To stay alert, to practice the techniques that I know work for me, to stay open to new ideas and reminders, to try something new this week.

    VPA #2: To not be flattened by re-entry into my world (especially the day job). To continue to trust that years of working and coaching and the wonderful people of last week will continue into this week.

    Ways this could work:
    **I could ask the Team to look out for me. Out loud. When they are in hearing range. (hmmm … maybe I should actually try this.)

    I might not need to say anything and it would just magically work out.

    I could practice working with my personal force field (and other techniques).

    My committment: To stay alert

    **Actually do this as part of my committment to making this work.

  17. Holly says:

    My VPA: To Let Go

    This is a fairly big one, but a fairly important one in my life. I’ve spent lots of this year in particular being stressed out and feeling like the adult fixer person that I never wanted to be. I want a way to find flow in my own life and not have it stopped up with lots of other people’s stuff that is in no way my responsibility.

    Ways This Could Work:
    -I could draw out boundaries in my life regarding responsibility, etc.
    -I could verbalize the things that are making me feel stressed out to people so they could try and fix them too.
    -I could try and accept that not everything in life is my fault, and that other people are allowed to make mistakes and then live with the consequences.

    My Commitment:
    -To take on new projects in a mindful way.
    -To make a list of the things in my life that I want to be doing, and try to weed out the things that I don’t want.
    -To be more assertive about my individual needs and wants rather than repress them so I won’t upset others.
    .-= Holly´s last post … A Pet Project Literally! =-.

  18. Larisa
    Twitter: larisakoehn

    *My VPA:* to give myself permission to disappear at will over this next week.

    *Here’s the deal:* One of my favorite mentors is flying in tomorrow for this workshop thing we are doing next weekend. He’s staying with me for the entire week. I live in a one bedroom apartment that is _perfect_ for my bf and I. Add another person for more than a day or two and, well, last time it ended with me completely overwhelmed and having a mini-breakdown.

    *Ways this disappear thing could work*
    -I can remember that he’s an adult and doesn’t need my constant attention.
    -I can go to the bedroom, close the door and be anti-social for as long as I need.
    -I can send him out on explorations on his own.
    -We can go camping! (and, I can spend time sitting under a tree by myself whenever I need).
    -I can somehow, magically, feel ok about doing what I need to take care of myself.

    *My commitments:*
    -to check in with myself throughout the day.
    -to respect my capacity and back out on things if necessary.
    -to start each morning with a minimum of 15 minutes of alone time – before even leaving the bedroom.
    -to practice the techniques we are going to be teaching over the weekend.

    Thanks Havi! Totally envious of your time in New Mexico. One of my favorite places in the world. If I ever leave Portland, that’s where I’ll be. :)
    .-= Larisa´s last post … Revealing More- Concealing Less =-.

  19. Gadgetgirl says:

    @Holly – Your VPA could be mine!

    This year, especially, I’ve been in fixer mode. It is exhausting. I feel like that little Dutch boy trying to hold back the break in the dike with his finger (http://www.pantheon.org/articles/l/little_dutch_boy.html). Things basically imploded early this year with the abrupt departure of my boss and since that time I’ve been trying to keep my academic program together. Feel that I’m doing a good job, but I can’t sustain this amount of effort much longer. Much frustration is boiling up: 1) Interim boss shows little interest in getting involved in the day-to-day matters, 2) Feeling very unappreciated for the number of hours I’m putting in, 3) Feeling like I can’t keep up with my work and that I’m letting down the students, and 4) Feeling like no matter what I do or don’t do in regards to the legal aspects related to this mess, I’m screwed.

    My ask: Acceptance

    Ways this could work:
    – I can accept that I am human and that I need down time no matter how long the to do list is.
    – I can accept that the Interim boss has a ton of other things on her plate and the foisting of this responsibility has pushed her beyond her capacity as well.
    – I can accept that the reluctance of my boss to get involved in the day to day matters means that she trusts me enough to make the right decisions more times than not.
    – I can accept that some of the odd statements that she has made to me lately come from a place of her own personal stress and are not a reflection on my work. I can’t fix her home life, nor can I make things right with her boss. That is hers to deal with, not mine.
    – I can accept that I am in a demanding doctoral program that I started without having any inkling that my boss would abruptly depart 6 months later. I really thought I would be the one who would pack up her marbles and go play somewhere else once I got my degree. I can hear the universe laughing really loud on this one.
    – I can accept that I don’t have to like the overtime situation that I have found myself in, but that it does present many opportunities for personal and professional growth.
    – I can accept that I have to let some things slide. For example, it really isn’t the end of the world that the weeds have taken over the back yard. And it isn’t the end of the world if I get a “B” in one of my doctoral classes. I get the same 3 initials at the end whether I have a 4.0 or a 3.0 GPA. And I’m the same person either way as well.

    My commitment:
    – To make space in each day to spend some time with my kitties
    – To take a few minutes to check in with the spouse each evening. He has his own crap he is currently dealing with.
    – To keep reaching out to trusted friends who know enough about the situation to give meaningful support without being part of the work place so that I don’t say anything to compromise the legal maneuverings.

  20. Deanna
    Twitter: DeannaLohnes

    What I want: to feel less scattered, more sure. To feel less overwhelmed by personal stuff & day job. To *finally* be free of a particular piece of baggage.

    Ways this could work: I could just be rescued. Some outside force or event could just change the stuff I can’t seem to change on my own.
    I could have a shivanautical epiphany that would answer the problem instead making it clearer.
    I could…. do something I haven’t thought of yet.

    My commitment: to follow through with agreements I already made. To stay honest with key players. to accept myself when i’m tired and overwhelmed and don’t know what I need, much less how to get it.

    good luck to all with this weeks VPA’s!

  21. Cathy
    Twitter: cathyyardley

    Last week’s VPA went amazingly well! I’ve got a coach working with me, a lovely, lovely thing. I have high hopes that she’ll help me work around my stuckness.

    For this week, I want: to somehow figure out a better way to manage with my four-year-old, who has decided to test everything, indulge in all manner of bad behavior… and I’m reacting, not responding.

    Ways this could work: I could develop a well of patience and a Zen like calm; I could become a better listener and somehow more focused on him, and maybe my changes will spark some of his changes; I could get more alone time and be better equipped, mentally, to roll with his punches.

    My commitment: I’m going to go to bed by eleven nightly, eat healthy, and bargain with husband for a block of time daily that I can be by myself. Also email parenting coach used to use for some advice.

    Thanks, and good luck, guys!

  22. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Quick update: last week I asked to get myself back into the flow of daily working on my dissertation proposal. I’d say I’ve been making slow and steady progress with this. Since I have a significant deadline coming up in about ten days, this week I’m asking for more of the same, with some exhilarating momentum in the mix, please!

    Also, may I say that I had an amazingly lovely weekend traveling the Skyline Drive and the Blue Ridge Parkway? I did. :)

    Love and good fortune to all!
    .-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … The trouble with “middle vision” =-.

  23. Sarah
    Twitter: edgetocenter

    I’m on a commenting spree! Doing these things is feeling really helpful to me right now, so thank you for making space for it.

    What I want: renovations to my self-image

    I’ve been thinking recently about people who make really clean, clear choices about their lives that reflect their values, and I finally realized that I don’t think I can be one of those people. There are plenty of monsters to go around, but I think the sticking point is actually just that I can’t envision being that clear and still being myself. So I would like to be ready to let go of whatever I believe about myself that’s making that true right now.

    Ways this could work: I could call Metaphor Mouse. I could write about this. I could use my personal destuckification practices to try to let go of what isn’t helping me here. I could remember that I can let go of things, even if I don’t necessarily know what they are. I could find my Shiva Nata DVD!

    My commitment: to be curious and willing to be surprised. To be gentle with myself and stay true to my commitment to practice from a place of safety. To talk about this or work on it without talking as seems right.

  24. Rose
    Twitter: celestialrose

    Oops, missed this. Better late than never, right?

    My general VPA is for things to just be smooth this week.
    I’ve a LOT of things going on – starting another volunteering role, applying for paying jobs, writing a novel, starting a business, feeding the cats, cooking and cleaning and not leaving the hosue in over a week.

    So my VPA is for all those things to fall into place [though I’m happy to do work; i’d like it to say “hi, work time sweetie” and not yell at me to say it’s arrived.

    How this could work:
    – I can keep checking my emails – staying on top of the “has to be done by five” things- thus keeping the flow going.
    – Take time out to breathe and sing and dance; to get in that ShivaNata-style of flow.

    My commitment
    To check those emails and for letters often
    To sing as soon as I’ve left this comment. Or even better – put on Enya now (i’m now singing)
    To keep an eye out for those patterns and to be kind

    Good luck with everyones VPAs and Yay for a Rally!!
    .-= Rose´s last post … Monsters at the Launch Party =-.

  25. Catherine Cantieri, Sorted
    Twitter: getsorted

    Whoa. Havi, you blew my mind once again. I’ve been so incredibly focused on seeking a job that it’s really starting to mess with me and bring up a lot of monsters. But what if I were to think about my relationship with job-seeking and the concept of jobs and job-ish stuff? (I know there’s a lot of stuff there.) Thank you for this post!
    .-= Catherine Cantieri, Sorted´s last post … Getting It All Done- Defer It =-.

  26. Kathy says:

    I like this idea of a very personal ad so here goes my first one. And I want to say Havi…I find you to be a delight….dancing to your own beat and doing it out loud and with self respect. You are inspiring.

    My VPA

    What I Want:
    To feel happy and connected. Connection to myself and my peeps. This has been difficult for me the past couple of years and I want to turn it around. I’m trying. I relate to the stuckification.

    How This Could Work:
    —Staying mindful and noticing when I default to frustration, aggravation, lonely, sad; and trying on the opposite instead – happy, relaxed, loving and lovable.
    —Acting on my impulse to connect rather than talking myself out of it.
    —Knowing that I am enough – as I am – right now.

    My commitment:
    — To give this emotional mindfulness a solid effort for at least the next three days (I know that sounds small but it feels like a good first bite).
    —To relish in being me and my life. To do things that make me happy which likely will help make those around me happy too.

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