Update from last week; I asked for clarity, and I think I mostly found it… I’m still working through it a bit, but I’m finding that just letting things sort of sit for a bit makes a world of difference (note to self, stop trying to push everything so damn much!)

VPA for this week;
I need web/logo design done. Preferably of the quality variety. But I don’t currently have the money to pay a quality designer (sad face).

Ways this could work;
I could mysteriously receive the funds to be able to afford a designer.
A designer could want to work out some sort of barter situation with me.
I could somehow find the time/energy to do the work myself (though I’d really rather not, I have other things that need my time/energy right now).
The web/logo design work could just do itself. Not likely, but hey, you never know ;)

My commitment;
To be open to possibilities.
To consider what I want from my web/logo design, so that when the answer comes, I am actually prepared.
To research designers, so that I can possibly buck up the sovereign courage to approach them about some sort of arrangement.

Good luck to everyone with their VPAs!

and @Bullwinkle – so many hug-filled thoughts, for your cousin’s son and the entire family. <3
.-= Heidi´s last post … My tiny- sweet thing =-.

I totally get the weird off feeling of not having a computer … at least that’s how it felt to me.

You are in such good hands. I swear the Genius Bar guys should have capes :-)

Hugs!
.-= Sarah Tieck´s last post … Vision as Fuel =-.

My VPA:

I need a job. Okay, that’s probably not going to happen this week, but I need more encouraging progress towards a job, even if it’s entirely internal. Like, having a stronger sense of my own competence and hire-ability?

Ways this could work:

I could hear back from the company who interviewed me last week.
I could hear back from some other, as-yet-unheard-back-from company.
I could send out more resumes and try out more avenues of getting in touch with potential employers.
I could just get more ready to see myself as a person whom you (yes! you! :D) should hire, and to project that intention without having to focus super hard on it when I think I have to.

My commitment: I will keep a clear head and try not to let good or bad news sway me from my “tightrope.” I will listen to the monsters that don’t want me to think I can get a job, and help them make piece with the scariness of the process. I will do little things to remind myself that I am totally still the person I saw in my Ritual Epiphany who is smart and ambitious and in charge of herself, and that I totally love that person and would tell her in a heartbeat that she deserved an awesome job.

I’ve never done this before. It feels good! :)

@alisha — you wouldn’t happen to be in Seattle, would you? Always have trouble finding Mom-writers… would love to hang out!

I’ve been having a really weird week, cycling between elation of epiphanies and funky, growly, rage-filled stuckness. But I think I’m getting a handle on it. Also, used Metaphor Mouse in an insane way and finally figured out how to wrap my arms around all my current to-dos and priorities: I am using my previously “bad” skills of avoidance to come up with creative ways to work around my issues, rather than trying to run headlong through them. No longer an “escapist” but an ESCAPE ARTIST! :)

My VPA this week: I need a life coach for my Escape Committee. Unfortunately, cannot afford one at this time.

Ways this could work:
A kindhearted, amazing coach who needs testimonials could ask me to be his/her guinea pig.
A wonderful, magnificent coach who is having trouble getting his/her book published could agree to barter with me. (I rock book proposals and publishing queries.)
Money could fall out of the sky. Or I could find some. Or this contract closing business could move like lightning.
I’m open.

My commitment: I will keep taking baby steps toward the Escape Plan — dig my “tunnels” daily. Ask people to be my look-outs. Start research. Keep that beginner’s mind thing going. Make a list of 5 dream coaches.

@Havi: Joining you in wishing refuah shlema for your laptop.

Update on my last ask: Last week, I asked to cultivate an attitude of celebration and appreciation. This is progressing. I wrote a blog post about something that I realized I had never celebrated and was huge for me, and it kind of helped me focus on the ask through the week. Then, my business asked me to celebrate it with bubbles and cake. When I wrote the ask, I was thinking I wanted to cultivate the attitude for the week; now, I realize it’s an attitude that I want to cultivate in general. So yes, progress.

What I want this week: I’d like to find the remaining sets of images so I can make cards for my etsy shop, and also write the descriptions for those sets.

Ways this could work: The ideas swirling around in my head could coalesce into something concrete. I could be looking through my photos and be drawn to the ones I want to use. The names of the remaining sets could occur to me, because then I will know what photos belong to those names.

My commitment: I will spend 15 minutes each day scribbling thoughts for names/descriptions. I will go through my last batch of photos and toss the non-keepers. I will practice Shiva Nata after setting an intention for inspiration. I will look at the photos I really want to include and see if there is a theme or two.
.-= Elizabeth´s last post … ode to joy- volume 28 =-.

What I want: to stay calm and centered, sovereign and compassionate, and wise in the face of chaos. (A cousin has been in a life-threatening accident. Best-case outcome is multiple amputations.)

Ways this could work: dance, journal, support of friends, walk the dogs, take care of myself

My committment: to not wish for any particular resolution and to remain open to what happens

A special ask: I’d like that cousin’s 3 year old son to receive some really good energy/prayers.

Ways this could work: I could ask others (please!) I could meditate daily.

My committment: to ask and to meditate.

What I want: To remember.

How this could work: I could remember to celebrate my joys in so many ways. The blue sky, my sweetie, my family, my ease. I could hold onto the moment of awareness of when I step out of the moment, even if that doesn’t change the suck.

My commitment: To be gentle with others. To be playful with myself, to remember how to be playful with myself.

Update on last VPA: *has it really been since May 31?*
I asked for ease and tiara wearing and thanks to a major metaphor shift I have it. Metaphors are awesome. It took me a few weeks to slide into the right one for me but now that I have it things make so much sense and I am clear on what it mine and what is other people’s. The relief is delicious.
.-= mary´s last post … CSA brilliant box =-.

Ways This Could Work: Use tiny kitten steps to walk. Be aware that what looks like a kitten step could be a rather long jump, so reduce and reduce until I can take another tiny step.

Revise my visuals to reflect what I want just one of my right people to see. And to repeat this for every little thing write, every little service I provide, every thing I make.

My Commitment: Taking one step after the other and greeting fears and stucks and problems and monsters warmly as sources of information to help me keep taking more kitten steps. Not stopping. Making kitten mews when I am ready, so people can find me.
.-= Erin´s last post … Breaking the chalice of loves mead =-.

My Ask: I have a work related personal issue that has really been bothering me, and is at the point where it is negatively impacting my money stuff. I need to talk to the other person about it, but I really don’t know how to have the conversation is a way that is productive and moves both of us forward positively, rather than just turning into some big fight (I hate big fights!).

Ways This Could Work: I could sit down and write a calm and reassuring but honest email to this person expressing my concerns so they could have time to get back to me and reflect. I could then invite them to have a conversation about it after they feel comfortable expressing their side of it.

My Commitment: To remember that there are two sides to every story. To remember to be sovereign and that protecting your achievements is nothing to be ashamed of. To remain calm and friendly even when I feel fairly angsty over the whole thing.

My Ask: I’m trying to biggify my business so I am working with cool creative people who also have budgets. I am alternatively hearing that my prices are too low, and then getting emails about how my prices stress people out. I am working on having my site redone to reflect my wish to work with bigger creative businesses, and I’m redoing my site copy, but it hits on all these scary money monsters who are very loud.

Ways This Could Work: I could contact some non-scary bigger businesses I know and follow up with them. I could draft new site copy that is bolder and better reflects who I want to work with. I could sit down and talk to my Money Monster and examine why I have these fears about talking about money.

My Commitment:
To draft some new site copy and give myself permission to be sovereign and upfront about my vision for my business. To sit down and have a conversation with my Money Monster and see what is going on there. To contact the one business I would love to work with and I’ve been putting off out of fear of not being good enough.
.-= Holly´s last post … Friday Roundup- On Kaffee- thinking before you speak- and the WP-Thesis debate =-.

Which brings me neatly into my VPA, which is something that I have been dancing around but I can no longer justify lying about, to myself or to anyone else.

What I want: Money.

Not vast quantities of it, although I wouldn’t turn that down. I don’t want to be Scrooge McDuck, going diving in his vault of gold doubloons.

Right now, in this moment, what I want is to be able to pay my bills. I want to be able to sit at my desk without looking out the window in terror every time I hear anything larger than a sedan go by. (Even though I happen to know from experience that the guy who turns your power off drives a sedan.)

More importantly, I want to be able to pay my bills so that I can spend my time moving forward instead of being terrified that I won’t be able to pay my bills and alternating between scrambling to put everything possible toward finding the money to make the payment and burning out because I’ve put everything I have into something that just doesn’t seem to be working.

How this could happen: I could find my Right People, who want me to consult with them. I could make new things that my Right People would want to buy, but again, that’s predicated on finding my Right People. I’m honestly at a loss for what else I can do in a long-term capacity.

My commitment: Never stop looking for Right People. Never give up hope entirely.

But I just don’t know what to do next.
.-= Chris Anthony´s last post … What I learned about business from my Death Knight =-.