very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: Right People for my Destuckification Retreat.

Here’s what I want:

This is a weird one.

I haven’t told anyone about this yet, because I need to tell the secret list first.

And I feel bad not telling the secret list, because the entire reason it exists is because my programs will sell out in a day or two, and then people miss out.

Of course, if I tell my list, then the program will sell out anyway before I can even announce its existence.

So yes. I feel conflicted.

But either way, people will find out about it this week. They can go to the events page and mark off the dates and drool over how fabulous it’s going to be.

They can sign up for the secret list while they’re there. Or not.

Ways this could work:

Everyone who has been on a retreat/workshop/afternoon-thing with me and knows how crazy-wonderful it is can remember the way it changes everything. For the better.

The excitement can build. The people who need this can find their way to it.

Everything can happen in the right time. Or in good timing. Or I can remember that there is time.

That would be good.

My commitment.

To trust the weird, wonderful process that is retreating.

To hunker down and get the last details taken care of.

To ask for help when I need it.

To remember how much support I have in what I do, even when I go into my completely forgetting that there’s support pattern.

To have fun with it.

Thing 2: A vanity table.

Here’s what I want:

There is this funny tiny little room (not a closet but maybe a roomlet?) off of the bathroom in Hoppy House.

And it is completely empty.

My joke has always been that it’s where the vanity table should go but since I am extremely low maintenance and it takes me all of two minutes to get ready … that would be silly.

However, it is no longer silly.

Because I discovered on my North Carolina trip that if you sit down to get dolled up (even if the dolling only takes 45 seconds), it’s easier.

Plus I just want it. So that’s it.

I want a retro vanity table for the weird little room within the bathroom. It has little cubbies or cabinet-ey things and a gorgeous mirror. And a seat.

Here’s how this could work:



Someone could make a recommendation, have the right one, know of the right one.

It could find me.

I could do some sort of Ikea hack, which would be awesome.

My commitment.

To get used to this idea of me-having-a-vanity-table. Me! What?!

To stop getting hung up on the idea that it means I’m vain, even though it has the word vanity right in it. Clearly it’s referring to the table and not to me.

I know that.

To stop being so insane. Okay, I can’t promise that. But I’m working on it. Kind of.

Thing 3: Support for the Blonde Chicken!

Here’s what’s going on:

You all know about Tara the Blonde Chicken because I write about her all the time.

She’s also someone who has had mad biggification successes this year thanks to the Kitchen Table program.*

We’ve watched her go from “eek, I could never leave my job but would love to in a few years” to doing it, and turning her thing into a full-time fabulous business.

And in one of our post-teleclass chatroom goofball extravaganzas, everyone was bugging Tara about how she should be teaching them to knit.

Because we love love love her gorgeous yarn, and don’t know what to do with it.

And since she wasn’t about to fly to Australia or Scotland or wherever to actually show them how to knit, they talked her into making a kit. And planned the whole thing. Together.

Tara says:

“Whenever I’ve gotten stuck (what pattern should I include?) or needed encouragement (I just don’t feel like it!), I’ve gone to the Table and the Table has supported me completely.

“I would never have ventured into this project without the Table and I am so clear that this is the right thing for my right people and for my business! Yay!”

Yay indeed. And now her Learn to Knit Kit exists. And she wants it to find its right people.

*For the record. Normally I would never out a Kitchener, because we are huge on confidentiality — in this case Tara specifically told me that she was cool with me talking about this.

Ways this could work.

This is possibly the best holiday gift in the entire world.

And I know there are a lot of people who want to be knitting fansocks for me and scarves for Selma …

So I’m going to make a wish for seed-planting. For all the right people to find her kit and to connect other right people with it too. Because this deserves to thrive.

My commitment.

To express how joyful I am to see someone doing her thing in this really beautiful way.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Last week I asked for rest and recovery after the exhausting-but-fabulous Barbara Sher retreat.

I got some. Not enough. But the transition is working. And I’m doing my best to pay attention to what I need and when I need it. More please!

I asked for help with a conversation I didn’t want to have that I was really upset about. I didn’t have the conversation. But I did take care of business. And I wrote a hard letter. And I found a new bookkeeper.

So all that is huge progress related to the uncomfortable thing.

And I asked for a group of Right People for the second year of my Kitchen Table program. There are now over eighty people just on the waiting list.

I might need a waiting list for the waiting list. It’s insane. So. Very happy about that, and will be making progress on the applications soon! Hooray.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. I commit to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and to interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible.

Thanks for doing this with me!

The Fluent Self