My monsters are still grumbling that I picked such a lame secret mission. The sneaky intellectualizing monsters have come up with many hypotheses for my choice. My play feels palpably serious today, like the fog.

My unrelated PSA: join a Toastmasters club! It’s a fun place to play with words and speak with passion and grow with others. Like the Playground, it’s a place to discover your tools, your style, your courage. (Boring effects: networking, business skills, leadership experience.)

Thank you, thank you — I will be *studying* this post!

hahaha!

Today, all we did was hang out with some of our favorite people and eat good food and tell stories and make each other laugh.

We brought our teenage nephew CJ home with us for the weekend so that he can visit art galleries and do art things with me.

I’m not sure which one is the cover story: that we went down (it’s an hour away) for Thanksgiving but the reality is that we were picking him up, or that we went to pick him up when we were really there for Thanksgiving.

Anyway, it was a good day. We have customs and traditions and a culture around the holidays that help prevent the kind of tension and turmoil that ruin the holidays for so many families. I’m so thankful for that!

What do I know about taking CJ and art? I know that he has a lot of interest in art and an undeveloped talent. The time we took him to an art museum in another city was very meaningful for him. I know that he considers me his favorite aunt because of our shared interest in art.

What will I need in order to do this? In order to “run him around” to the various art venues this weekend, I need to sleep and rest tonight, and to get information about the hours that these places are open.

What in my kingdom needs to change for this to happen? Mainly the lack of information. I need to clear some space for us to work on our art.

What’s next: just that — clearing some space, and then getting information.

My secret mission is something to do with a very very large ball of yarn. It’s actually a secret from me, too.

What I know about this:

- When balls of yarn get that large, it’s funny.
- This ball of yarn is actually made up of smaller balls of yard tied together. The ends could be woven in neatly, but they’re not
- The big ball of yarn has so many different kinds of yarn in it.
- It’s also got a lot of colour and pattern.
- It would knit the world’s largest scarf.
- Even though it’s a giant ball of yarn you would still use normal sized needles to knit with it because the yarn is still normal thickness
- There is another giant ball of yarn, somewhere on the other side of the world, where the yarn is so thick really funnily large needles are needed.
- The ball of yarn is really really cute. I just want to sit down beside it and lean against it.

What will I need in order to do this?

I already have everything I need! I almost always already have everything I need, no matter what my secret mission is. Even when I don’t know what my mission is.

What needs to change in my kingdom for this to happen?

More space, since the ball of yarn is so big.
But not more space.
Re-arranged space. A new perspective on space.
Permission to create that kind of space!
Commitment to being in that space. Fully occupying it.

What’s next?

1. Experimenting with arranging space.
2. Experimenting with fully occupying space.
3. Exploring all the different ways I can sit down and lean against the giant ball of yarn.

I could ask the ball of yarn – do you know more about my mission? But I think once I have done 1 and 2 I will be ready for my next mission.

also: Yay! Rally! Yay!

Here are some things I believe about beachcombing:

–It’s done in a beautiful place.
–It’s done out in the world, and at the same time, it’s a solitary pursuit. Seems rather meditative, in fact.
–There’s no hurry to beachcombing. Beachcombers meander. They poke around, and see what they can see.
–They hunt for buried treasure. While doing so, they collect things, all kinds of things. You never know what might be of value to someone. Potential is everywhere.
–Beachcombers walk with the sea at their side. The sea brings them gifts. These gifts can then be co-mingled, transformed, shared.
–Beachcombers honor the rhythm of the sea. They understand ebb and flow.
–It’s not hard work. Rather the opposite, really.

Lovely things, proxies. I can almost hear the ocean, can feel my breath flowing in gentle waves.

Sending monkey hugs to you and all the Rallions, and to everyone reading these words!

back when i was studying evolutionary anthropology and primate ethology i could tell you all kinds of things about monkeys, bet that. but we already knwo the most important things! they’re fun! curious! silly! not afarid to masturbate in front of school children! whee!

i am giving myself and the monkeys eprmission to blnket fort today. to play and be silly and retreat when necessary and Not TAke Ourselves Too Serious, becuase for real, am I turning in today; Thanksgiving for a grade or something?

I am not.

I also love that as I was first reading this, my girls were watching “curious George” an giggling like mad lil monkeys. our mission today: to monkey-ify our lowkey lil T’giving. monkeys away!

I think I need a proxy because my monsters most emphatically do not want me to consciously approach all the stuck weirdness that is hanging out in the air today. No approaching allowed! Okay monsters, I’m not approaching…in fact, I’m kind of napping. I’m a sloth in a tree! Cataloging the moss on my fur. (because I am so nonmoving I’m mossy!) And I am dangling. And smiling and sleepy and content. I am most definitely not scheming. Not me! Just being smiley and focusing on my sleepy self.