Melissas last blog post..NaNoWriMo Excerpts

Anyway, I don’t like when people say things are easy either. We all have natural talents and some things that come with more difficultly. Sometimes we just need a little empathy!

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If anything, after you smack them for being annoying, you’ll turn around to look for someone else who actually gets it.

There’s this weird but completely understandable thing that a lot of people do when they start out with their own itty biz which is to try and be all “hi, I’m an expert who is perfect!”

When actually what I want is someone who knows my pain intimately and gets what a big deal it is that I’m even thinking about working on it.

I’ll take the hug and the non-cheesy acknowledging over the uninvited tough love any day.

Anyway, yay. I love how Naomi always has bright, thoughtful, all around great people on her blog, and it’s always awesome when they visit!

I’m not looking for easy. I’m looking for know-how. And when what I know gets hard, I’m looking for understanding, not someone to tell me something’s wrong with me because I’m seeing a challenge. I abhor it when people look at me blankly and say, “Well, I don’t have a problem with it.”

Great. Then let me find someone who did or does, who understands how to talk to me. If you don’t understand how hard it can be, then you can’t help me. Chances are, you’re not going to be able to explain it on my level.

stephs last blog post..Is It Okay for Me to be Selfish Yet?

I have one friend who constantly does that when telling other people’s stories. She’s not even bragging about how much HER day sucked. She’s bragging about how much OTHER people’s days were.

Me: Boo hoo. My dog died.

Her: THAT’S okay, my one friend? The one with small pox? HER dog was hit by a car and then eaten by vultures while she watched, helplessly.

Well, you have to be very, very funny to be able to get away with that.

@Martin - Thanks for that. I actually really like your “Hey, we all were at that not-knowing place once” approach. That could be totally reassuring and could absolutely work.

I mean, if I know that this hard thing will be easy for me eventually because this hard learning curve part is just this thing we all go through … that seems much more do-able.

@Photopoppy - Love the name! And your last post. Sounds like you’re feeling annoyed when people don’t seem to know what they really want or are capable of.

I think @Richard has a point with the “they’re probably just scared” part — could also be that they don’t even know yet that they don’t want to learn it.

But yeah, that’s still no fun to deal with.

@Alison - Yay! That’s cool. I also want to know how to create a home I love … are you going to post some ideas?

@Richard - Yeah, I also don’t think that “I can’t” comes from any kind of deliberate dishonesty. People are scared of all sorts of things, and it’s so hard to remember that sometimes when you’re not in the fear yourself.

And for everyone else … this post has sparked all kinds of interesting debates within my inbox. If anyone wants to chime in here too you’re more than welcome to do so. You guys rock.

I have plenty of experience showing techno-neophytes the ropes, and I’m certain that there’s no deliberate dishonesty when they say they “can’t do” the thing - it’s just a form of self-defense, of pre-empting failure.

Like Havi, I’ve found that it’s vital for that kind of fear to be acknowledged before any learning can take place.

The second is at least more honest, and I can accept not having time and resources to learn everything a lot faster than I can accept being dishonest.

Photopoppys last blog post..A lighter SPAMtastic moment