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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Friday Chicken #136: this picture is too adorable for words.

Friday chickenBecause it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

One hundred and thirty six chickens? In a row?

Where does the time go?

It’s Friday, so we’re chickening. Yallah.

The hard stuff

A lot going on.

This is a big week.

And I’m trying to get stuff happening before Rally.

And there is just a lot.

Ketchup ketchup ketchup.

So much to catch up on!

Sleep. Work. Ideas. Things that are in transition, which is oh, everything right now.

Crisis switcheroo. Very funny, internal mechanisms.

So I didn’t at all have the existential crisis that I was expecting. Which is good.

But something else popped up that I’m not thrilled about.

And STILL no heat at the Playground.

Though with the weather changing, pretty soon I’ll be complaining about no cooling at the Playground.

I really need this gets sorted before I get too attached to that humming space heater sound and can’t write without it. Ahahahahaha. Oh, that’s not funny.

The good stuff

That was seriously the best birthday ever.

It is a known thing that I pretty much always have a crappy birthday.

Often the crappy-ness is so unique and spectacular that it breaks its own records.

This year? This year was lovely. It was beyond lovely. Exactly what I would have asked for, had I known.

My gentleman friend took me away on holiday for two days to a place with an extremely magical pool.

Spaciousness, warmth, comfort and goodness. Plus terrific food, time to write, warm water, walks in the sun, naps, whiskey, and being sent to the spa. And presents. Who doesn’t like that?

Me: “But how did you know? This is so completely perfect.”
MGF: “I read your mind. Sometimes your mind is really loud.”

The sweetness of all of you.

Thank you for the warm wishes at the Twitter bar and the Frolicsome Bar and everywhere. Thank you for reading my birthday rituals and being with me for the process.

Thank you for the sweet cards and entertaining gifts.

I now have, among other things, a wonderful book from Marie, an insane and fabulous duck-tea-infuser from Jacquelyn, a pink stuffed pig named Rex, and other delights.


Also, Rex the pig is so awesome that he let Selma sit on his head. See adorable picture of them hanging out with Scootch the hedgehog.

The official birthday of my business.

So the birthdays I usually celebrate in my business are when The Fluent Self got its name and website (that will be six years this August), and the birthday of the blog (three years this June).

But my business officially became a thing five years ago when I walked into the San Francisco City Hall and set off on this crazy thing.

Feeling a lot of love, gratitude, appreciation for the madcap run of drama and adventure that’s been my life since then.

And for my business itself.

Thank you so very much, me-from-then, for trusting your instincts and not listening to any of the many well-meaning people who said we shouldn’t or couldn’t do this. They didn’t know. And you did. Even if you weren’t sure. Some part of you knew.

New cool stuff for the Playground.

Like the giant hot pink bean bag cushion in the Refueling Station (next to the hammock, if you can picture it).

And some crazy turquoise tassels because who doesn’t need tassels.

And some new wigs for the Costumery. All very exciting. Yay.


I got way more done than expected on the tentatively-named Playground User Manual (PLUM!).

Progress. It feels really good.

Also we had a super fascinating Kitchen Table call, with some smart, interesting questions that I have been thinking about all week. All good stuff.

Stuff I read and loved this week.

This piece by Maryann on slowing down.

Jesse’s playdate adventures.

Leonie’s beautiful guest post about the medicine of Shiva Nata.

Everything by A. Bitterman (scroll down for the bit on Running the hurdles with Harry Potter). He also has a children’s book. Which you should read. Discovered via @susan_marie.

Meet Plarchie, the giant plastic knitted squid.

Paula and her ruby red lips. Inspiring!

And: play this in a loop and everything will be fine forever.

And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week’s band plays flamenco-inspired bluegrass. Which you’d never guess from the name.

That Creepy Blue Mermaid Monster Thing.

Anyway, they have what you would call a unique sound. And yes, it’s just one guy.

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.

And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.

p.s. Lately we’ve had some apologizing about people doing their chickening on Saturday or Sunday, or even later than that. So, for the record, there’s always chicken amnesty, and you can join in absolutely whenever you like. :)

24 Responses to Friday Chicken #136: this picture is too adorable for words.

  1. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space

    Yay amnesty! I’m a day ahead being Orstraylien and I still often get mine done on Sunday, ha! But today there is … 73 minutes of Friday left and I am Chickening!!



    -did you know you can get tonsillitis when you don’t even HAVE any tonsils?!?!? Well, you can. Whole throat, soft palate and UVULA all red raw swollen and pussy. Gross. Also, OOOOWWWWwwww…. Do you feel VERY sorry for me yet? *places hand over the forehead and collapses in delicate swoon*

    – chinese medicine herbs taste AWFUL. Antibiotics make my tummy feel crap.

    – grizzling and whinging about everything is SUCH hard work…


    + medicine and time off and slowly getting better

    + intense conversations still happening, but less frequently and with less fallout, more dolce, dolce.

    + got new job, start next week. Apparently unemployment is not my style… Yay $$$

    + the unexpected side effect post and comments confirmed that I have been working in event management for nearly ten years for a REASON. Working towards creating THOSE kind of events. Mmmmmhmmmm

    + MRI scan on little lad went fine, he pulled up from general anaesthetic #4 in his short life fine too. The whole team there were really lovely and they have an LED starscape on the roof of the machine for the kids to gaze at while they’re in there. #thoughtfulengineering

    + got the car fixed and a new fridge when the spluttering one carked it. Have been managing to maintain good humour through two days so far of having absolutely no money… Yay full pantries and fuel tanks, roll on cheques…

    Cluck! Cxx

  2. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space

    PS I like ‘plum’. No duff, just plum!

  3. judy says:

    Actually Claire, yes, I am feeling sorry for you – ouch- yuck and I hope you feel better soon. Swoon away.

    My week.I wish it was as funny as those old Laugh In sketches “That was The Week That Was.” But alas, not.

    The Hard:
    Crank Pants about everything.
    Part of it, my body fighting yet another virus thingy.

    Rain, rain, rain and flooding downstairs of house.

    Being hard on myself for cranky pants feelings and behaviors.Wasn’t able to give myself permission slips.

    The Good:
    New car is fabulous

    Taking time to Chicken today and to do yoga everyday.

    Watching students build/dig a “river” out of the muddy playground and work together to get it to flow and to get as muddy as possible. Inspiring.

    A long needed break starts TODAY! Whee……

  4. seagirl says:

    The good:
    Like an ice dam in a river that breaks in spring and everything flows again, so much stuck stuff finally flowed this week: emailed the bikini roto attorney, cases that have been squatting in my office for too long were ousted and moved along, cleared out old files to make room for new clients, etc.

    Spring cleaning the office! Dusting, windows, vacuuming, organizing, hanging, straightening. Even cleaned the entire office of my suite (sweet) mate who was out all week after her grandmother died. Our assistant and I were like little worker mice in there with our rags and hammers and vacuums and cord-wrangling devices.

    My toe nail hit the wall when I kicked up into handstand. This is massive progress!!

    Thanks to technology, I am working (earning money) whilst reclined on my couch drinking a smoothie. Yum.

    My usual Friday-night companion is out of town, so I can stay home and clean and beautify my house and go to bed early.

    Playing peacemaker (and kidney) today. Filtering out the toxins (stories, pain, emotions) from my clients today, then passing the information along to the other attorney who filters it more before passing it along to her client. That way we focus on “the toilet is broken, let’s call a plumber” not “I’m sad that my husband is dead and scared about the future and hurt by your actions and confused by all this probate business” or “I’m sad my father is dead and you are just my stepmother and I hate that we’ve been put in this position and angry about that email.”

    The Hard:
    Not much, thankfully. Although I do have the “where is the anxiety?” anxiety. Which is not all that cool.

  5. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    What an endearing picture! I love it.

    Oh, Friday, I thank you for your Friday-ness.

    –Lots of storm clouds this week, both interior and exterior. I’ve just been feeling sad a lot this week.
    –I am so sick and tired of the feeling that I will never again be able to do all the things I have committed to doing. That I will always be in the weeds, for the rest of my natural life. That’s got to be the monsters talking. I should invite them to tea. Or I should dance on it. And yet, I don’t. I feel like one of those maddening horses, standing at the edge of the cool, fresh mountain stream and moaning, “But what do I doooooo?!” Argh. Very mad at myself.
    (What’s this? A permission slip on a popsicle stick? Oh, how lovely. Thank you, Havi; thank you all.)

    –My daughter got the role she was hoping for (Mrs. Hannigan!) in her school’s production of Annie. She’s thrilled, and so am I. This is going to be excellent.
    –I am remembering to give myself credit, and compassion, to the best of my ability, moment to moment.
    –I actually am getting a few things done (she whispered, not wanting to wake the monsters).

    Thanks for reading/listening. Truly. I’m not sure I’ve mentioned lately how very much this safe and playful corner of cyberspace means to me. I hope your weekend brings you lovely things!

  6. Emily
    Twitter: emilyroots

    Sounds like a lovely birthday, Havi. Yay for non-sucky birthdays!

    -Um…I seem to suddenly have a lot of “the world is ending” people around me. Where did they come from? It’s kind of weird.
    -Ouchy girly stuff. Yeah. Is it just me, or does it seem to be taking more time to get through, the older I get?
    -Plumbing is kind of effed up. And in trying to fix it I cut my finger on a piece of broken glass, while my fingers were all covered in black goop, which is a bit frightening. Ultimately, I think I’ve only temporarily solved the problem. Plumber will be needed.
    -I ate some bad food. Not bad in that it made me sick, but bad in that it wasn’t really food. I’m not beating myself up about it (much), but it didn’t make me feel good.

    -Listening to my guy recording guitar parts for a song. He really is an amazing musician.
    -The Little Bird’s antics…very amusing she is.
    -Creakily moved myself into some yoga yesterday for the first time in a good little while. It was very nice, and then it made me woozy and I had the sense to stop and lie down and feel what I was feeling. (Pushing and yoga do not go together.)
    -I took the time to really work on the ideas I had for a poem. It percolated for a good long while, and I wrote down the percolations. Revised. Wrote. Revised. Was very pleased with the finished poem.
    -Sun is shining, weather is sweet….

    Happy weekend, Chickens!

  7. Lori Paximadis
    Twitter: Virtuallori

    Oy. Let’s chicken.

    This week’s hard:
    – Sickness. I hate being sick. Especially when I have a lot to do.
    – I’m so very over the cold and the snow and the winteriness of everything. Then we got six more inches of snow last night, with more to come.
    – Heartbreak for the people of Japan this morning.

    This week’s good:
    – An unexpected new project that looks really interesting.
    – Somewhere under all that snow, the daffodils are sticking their noses up out of the ground.
    – Friends in Hawaii and around the Pacific Rim thus far are all safe.

    Happy Friday, chickeneers!

  8. Jesse
    Twitter: persnicket

    Happy happy! Chickening the chicken! Friday hooray!

    The Hard:
    – My grandfather is dying. Still.
    – I don’t think I’ll get to visit for the funeral and I’m not sure how I feel about that

    The Good:
    + Daffodils are blooming! I wore a skirt with bare legs!
    + The crazy aforementioned (thank you, Havi!) playdate with its dance of the seven veils reference
    + I actually think I know what the first veil is/was, and it’s absolutely blowing my mind
    + Strongest, most balanced, best cycling class EVER, even on four hours of sleep
    + A cocktail and fancy food was just what I needed last night
    + Playdates and other excitements this weekend, even though it’s due to rain

  9. Miss P.
    Twitter: chemieemma

    The Hard:

    A bad cold and a body that decided to tell me through pain that I am not ok, as if I hadn’t noticed.

    Not getting things done but staying in bed instead.


    The Good:

    Sussing out what the pain was telling me.

    Staying in bed and letting my unconscious work.


    Finding friends in unlikely internal places.

    Over all I think it was a good week, even if I am very very tired right now.

  10. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    MGF: “I read your mind. Sometimes your mind is really loud.”
    *appreciative giggle*


    * lungs cloggy again
    * weird bumps and welts. Dammit, skin, I haven’t been a teenager for years…
    * exhaustion + mania. Doesn’t help that the current issue of Marie Claire observes that “insomniacs have worse complexions than drug addicts because they’re never getting the deepest stage of sleep, when cells regenerate.” *grits teeth*
    * so many things to fix / declutter / resolve / soothe / coordinate / submit, only one me
    * delusions of omniresponsibility / omnipotence *rueful smile*
    * not yet hearing from people from whom I should’ve heard from by now
    * feeling stressed over some situations where I’m not clear on how/if/to what degree I should be involved. Feeling distressed about beloved ones’ stucknesses.

    * I’m liking the machines and the hours at my new gym. And apparently the desire to see the results of Iron Chef: Battle Goat is what it takes for me to put in an extra twenty minutes on the bike.
    * Finally started watching my Shiva Nata video. Not yet into the moves, but actually getting around to playing any video is a major stuck for me, so this is definite progress, and it has been the kind of week where any measurable progress will do. *thumps Book of Me emphatically*
    * Took sweet potato brownies to three of my favorite octogenerians and spent some quality time with them.
    * Major progress with my parents’ estate after months of limbo
    * Sweet thank-you notes from some of the kids
    * Flowering trees on my walk to/from my favorite bakery
    * Unsolicited compliments and invites, and a sweetie who keeps getting even sweeter and sexier
    * My friend in Nara, Japan, is okay. *whew*
    * Still alive in Indian Wells tennis pools. *cheesy grin*

    Back to the mounds of paperwork and the filthy kitchen floor. Shabbat shalom, y’all.

  11. Juliet
    Twitter: julietk

    Beanbag cushion! Yay for beanbaggery.

    The hard:
    – waiting for a friend to go into labour (I’m her birth partner). I know it’ll happen when she & the baby are ready, but I’m excited and anticipatey and it’s hard not knowing when I’ll have to drop everything & run! (Of course, harder for her: I don’t ache and have all the other late-pregnancy stuff going on).
    – stressful house/mortgagey stuff. Nothing *bad* happening (I hope!), but waiting for this & that to come through, and meanwhile it’s all up in the air and *anyway* we haven’t exchanged contracts yet never mind completed and and and… [ bites fingernails ]
    – partner having a tough time.

    The good:
    – v excited about forthcoming friend’s baby!
    – got moving again on the novel (1st draft finished just before Xmas, then BIG HIATUS before started editing).
    – working with ideas of spaciousness and containers and other interesting things. hmm hmm hmm.
    – partner paid my library fines (yes, I know, Bad Juliet No Biscuit) so now I can get stacks of books out again! And return them on time this time. (Actually this was a fortnight ago, but I went back today to swap books so have just been reminded of it. booooooks.)
    – partner tells me I am being supportive of him in the hard. And some other good stuff. Which is always nice to hear.

    happy weekendery all!

  12. Riv
    Twitter: PurpleshinyRiv

    -I had to back down from making this commission for a friend–the more I worked on it, the more I realized I don’t actually have the skills I’d need to do a competent job on it, and that butting my head against it was just sucking my time and energy in a non-productive way. It was really, really hard to face my friend and say “I can’t do this”.

    -I backslid on my attempts to stop biting my nails. Painful *and* frustrating, grr. Starting over again.

    -The friend was understanding, so it was not too scary to talk to her about stopping work on her project. And the flip side of letting go of the commission is that now I can turn to other things. Tend the garden of my work; turn over the soil (clean my workbench), plant seeds (make components like earwires and jump rings), draw up maps and diagrams and plans. Turn my attention to new ideas (or gentle re-workings of old ideas that deserve more love). And I’m remembering to write about the lessons I’m learning in my book-of-me wiki. Like the realization about how my metalwork isn’t supposed to be like slaying a dragon (scary, high-stakes, one-shot challenges with a single reward to strive for), it’s like working on a garden (many small, incremental, loving tasks, including ones that don’t have an immediate payoff but lay the groundwork for future stuff).

    -There are a bunch of neat events going on in my life, and I’m managing to find the space and time and rest to not feel overwhelmed by my busy schedule, at least so far. This is a big step for me.

    -My experiments in wearing fun clothing whenever I want have gone pretty well–for me, it’s about not needing an excuse to be shiny and silly and awesome. I don’t need a special occasion to wear a dress, I can just DO it! This is part of a general outlook shift towards being as awesome as I want to be NOW, not at some vaguely-defined future when I am “enough”. I am enough now.

  13. Rhiannon
    Twitter: rhiannonlaurie

    Oh my goodness those links are all fabulous.

    And the hedgehog is cute times one thousand.

    And Plum is a great name and your birthday sounds simply delicious.


    The Hard:
    – As soon as my neck and back are improved enough for me to be up and about, my throat starts hurting. What are you saying to me, body?
    – Cold+Rainy+Windy=Gross
    – When will my clients have their baby already? I am tired of being on call, even though maybe she’s waiting to be born until after I’m healthy and don’t have to get a backup to cover for me. Working on the patience thing.

    The Good:
    – Back to Shiva Nata after a week and change away. Oh epiphanies, I have missed you!
    – Great new plan re: money.
    – Lots of amazing people have signed up for my online Shiva Nata classes! Yippee!
    – I have a new bike, named Hermes. That has pretty much eliminated any need for me to use my car (except for births).

    Love to all the chickeners!

  14. Andi
    Twitter: annaline_39

    Yay for the best birthday yet!

    Panic at night when there’s not really anything I can do about the money situation and so I remember there is still a money situation and then I freak out.

    Paralysis from panic leads to nothing getting done to alleviate the money situation.

    And yes @emilyroots, as one gets older one’s body starts acting in weird and annoying ways.

    Sugar is the devil’s workshop. Or something like that. I haven’t been eating teh sugar during the week for the past month (but having stuff on Saturday “cheat day”). This week was Izzy’s birthday and Mardi Gras so of course there was paczki and cheesecake. Which leads to waking up like I’ve been on a three day bender. Guess I’m cutting sugar out.

    I won a spot in Tara Gentile’s Art of Action course and it’s really rocking my socks.

    Crafty Chica’s guest spot and giveaway at my blog is getting some nice entries (there is still time, I am choosing the winner on Monday).

    I made my business plan and it makes me happy. (see scary blog post of today)

    You can make your language on Facebook English (Pirate) which makes me verrrry happy, arrr. :)

    I had a really intense chat about our respective businesses with my friend today and it was really nice to get some clarity one what I want to do as well as to offer him advice on what to do for his marketing.

    Izzy’s birthday was Wednesday and he loved the cheesecake I made for him :)

    And the person who has been ignoring me apparently decided to talk to me again as though nothing ever happened. Which was cool and totally weird as well.

  15. Leila Lloyd-Evelyn
    Twitter: LeilaLEvelyn

    So happy to hear this year’s birthday was a gorgeous one for you! Yayyyyyyyyyy!

    IS there something in the water?

    I felt totally turned inside out with pain from the repeat big shoe. Lots of held tears earlier in the week.

    Then a huge, humungus shoe and sense of how do I attract this shit? A male client at work was scary and threatening and I could feel how much he wanted to hit me – although he didn’t. I am still working thru this
    but I felt totally shaken up disorientated and exhausted.

    Feeling like I really needed some time off after this but not being given it and not feeling I could ask. In fact they assigned me somewhere entirely new to work and I had to start there the next day. Feeling shattered, tired, thin skinned for a day. *But JUST a day – not bad. Woo hoooooo!

    The news. The world stuff going on around us.

    Also the fact that I don’t watch the news but I work somewhere that has it on 24/7 so I have had rage, pain, suffering all that stuff somewhere in the background every second of my working day. This growing sense of something HUGE happening. Feeling unsettled, unsafe, more alert sense of urgency.

    Tapping helped so much and meditation and even some yoga for my root and sacral chakra.

    Tears finally flowing.

    Hugest of feelings inside of love and of knowing my own worth. Wooshing feelings of love, of being wide open, again. Of feeling something so huge and indescribable in my heart area.

    Changing who I am. Somehow this week has taken me to another place and I am kinda bowled over by it. I feel some connection to source. And this is not Who I Have Been at All.

    Sorrow at the client’s rage towards me/the world
    and sensing that he so wants to heal. Knowing you can see someone’s beauty even in their darkest moments.

    Remembering my Dad, remembering my sometimes partner, remembering all of my rage. Seeing us in all our pain and all our need and all our desire to be healed, seen, acknowledged. Somehow feeling this huge welling of heart towards us all.

    Remarkably speaking truth at the same time as being professional in the face of this encounter at work. I swear – this is the first time. I am proud of me and also actually thankful – because I am convinced I had some helpers with me because that is SO out of character of me.

    Explaining myself to my bosses. Taking criticism on the chin and then having them accept that I wanted to try out a different office.

    ALl in all this was the week that was the week that was.
    An amazing week.

    Bless you my friends, Havi I love you. Ducky one too.

    Leila x

  16. Do Mi Stauber
    Twitter: dmstauber

    Ooh, thanks for the chicken amnesty. Even though I may manage to do it today. That feels expansive.

    The hard:

    –Sweetheart still sick. Worried about her.

    –A hard conversation about the ongoing scary family thing.

    –Ups and downs with the confidence and the knowing what to do.

    –Blog posts aren’t just streaming into my mind the way they were. A little scary. On the other hand, I’m in the middle of a new one right now. Hmm, time to review Blogging Therapy.

    The good:

    –Going straight to the right person for support about the confidence and knowing what to do. And she reminded me that I do know what to do.

    –Great first session working on the new Thing my sweetheart and I are hatching! Recording music with cute children! It worked!

    –The Right-Brained Business Video Summit. I started out feeling guilty for spending so much time watching videos (there has been one a weekday for the last two weeks). Feeling more and more nurtured, excited, connected as the week goes on. Deciding to spend some money on joining the ongoing support forum, and knowing immediately it’s the right thing. Because support and advice and good ideas are already spilling out there.

    –First step in getting involved in the Oregon Country Fair, an indescribable experience that I’ve been wanting for years. (Another new Thing, am I crazy?)

    –Swimming on three different days. Ease in my body.

    –More good work with clients.

    –More progress on the many many facets of my new business. And I can see it, because I put up my business map with the sticky notes!!

    Sigh. Best wishes to all of you!!!

  17. Susan says:


    Mom died two years ago last week. This means March (and, by association, February) are Months I Do Not Like Anymore. After dinner with my remaining family (guess that goes in the good pile) I spent the following day having near-panic attacks in some sort of “my mom is dead” not-quite-freak-out.

    Some people might miss their mom by sobbing under their bed, but apparently I do it by avoiding my dissertation proposal with chocolate and Law & Order. All week.

    (Not) working on my fellowship application because I have a basic terror of asking people for money. More chocolate and Law & Order.


    Chinese food with what’s left of my family.

    I exercised three times this week (my goal), which makes me feel pretty good mentally and physically.

    Presentation of my work to my classmates went well on Wednesday. Got some constructive feedback and encouragement.

    Turns out I’ll probably be able to T.A. this summer. Not sure yet if I’ll get paid for it, but I need the experience so that’s a plus.

    I finally got to start my oral history interview with a really cool activist! Been working on this for months, so I was really excited and it went well.

    Bertha (monster) and Hortense (ostrich) have been keeping me company as I attempt to write, which has been helpful.

    Thanks to Havi for the rabbit hole post.

  18. kim
    Twitter: avoidingkim

    hmmmmm, i’ve never tried this, but here goes….

    the bad:

    – ickiness and tension with my mom + guilt about being icky and tense

    – first twinge of kind of sort of feeling left out of stuff happening with the cases i JUST handed off and wishing i were in charge again (ooohhhhh, how i hate to say that out loud…)

    – tried on jeans, need i say more?

    – anxiety about not feeling more anxious about $$$ + flashes of panic about $$$

    – i’m really wrapped up in what is happening inside me, consequently i have been a super shitty friend to some people who would like me to show up. just can’t find the energy to do that….but can find the energy to beat myself up about it

    – wrote an icky, negative, pissy blog post and sent it out to the world. it is not how i want to be perceived, and, frankly, not who i am. so i deleted it the next day. but now feel stuck about blogging again.

    – i either have a huge zit or a painful tumor growing right in the middle of my back. ewwwww, ouch and wtf?


    – mom couldn’t have chemo this week, which opened up some time for her to go to her home in MX, which she loves and totally needed to do, i feel good and peaceful about that.

    – after lots of false starts, i did write a blog post today and i was happy with it + nice feedback, yay!

    – found out that the einstein’s near my house is a drive-thru!

    – discovered that Mike Dooley is also in Portland next week doing a Playing the Matrix workshop – i am a huge fan and have attended a few of his events in CO, so, on a lark, i wrote and asked if i could help out with the event so i could attend for free. the answer was an enthusiastic YES!! so i get to stay in Portland a couple more days.

    – my 18 yr. old son texted me “i love you mommy”

    – i’ve been wearing bright, super-comfy, non-lawyer clothes every day and i love it.

    – major movement with jin shin treatments this week. lots of space opening up for the new stuff.

    have i mentioned that i love this corner of the internet? i do. woo-hoo!

    happy happy weekending all :)


  19. kerri
    Twitter: kerritwigg

    The goodness:

    got outside validation for something I have been trying to feel inside validation for. — the school I got my M.Ed from has asked me ME!! to teach a course. I start teaching, “Raising a Humane Child” this Fall. so excited, honoured, thrilled.

    So much of Shiva Nata work this week has been figuring out the word. I found it, used it two times casually tonight and both times people said, “that is a great word/idea” A-ha.

    I found the right person to read my play, and she was ok, and actually impressed when I told her that I am bad at producing plays. I want to write them and see them performed — not deal with the fiddly details of renting space, hiring people, marketing.

    The hard:

    Migraine. Boo.

    Mice in house, double boo. I think the cats killed all four, so that’s a good, but a gross good.

    I am teaching a class that exhausts me I feel I am not reaching the students at the level I want to because of location and class size restrictions.
    I will say no to these kinds of teaching gigs in the future.

    happy weekending. we are having a blizzard over here.

  20. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    Glad you had a fabulous birthday. :)

    And a slightly late chicken as I went to bed at 9pm last night…So…

    The hard:
    – the tired
    – closely related to the sinusy ill, resulting in not doing a lot of things I wanted to this week
    – the cold – tired of wearing my winter hat and coat now
    – the tiresome bolivia topic coming up and not being taken at all seriosly by the person I was talking to. *bangs head on wall*

    The good:
    – friends party – got to wear gorgeous clothes, meet lots of new people, get taken seriously as a photographer, take lots of great photos. Yay!
    – going to see one of my high school friends play a concert, take some great photos of her and her husband, then off to a amazingly little bistro for delicious food, more music and more photos.
    – doing something at work all by myself where I clearly helped someone in a concrete fashion. Made me feel it was actually worthwhile to be there.
    – meeting up with someone for a date who I actually liked and got on with. And ate more delicious food!
    – going over to a university library with the idea that what I needed to find would find me – and it did.
    – going shopping and finding the perfect dress. That’s handmade from recycled fabrics, and getting to chat to the lovely lady who makes them.
    – KT call and associated bing! Made me reasses what I think is possible.

    Well, no wonder I’ve been tired!
    Hugs for all the hard and yays for the good and hope you’re all having a lovely weekend.

  21. Emily says:

    Something I read this week that I think you might love, because it is about discovery through play: Snakes! http://vihart.com/blog/how-to-snakes/

  22. Pat
    Twitter: PKeahi

    the hard:

    a very sick greyhound at the rescue kennel where I work. many tests done. no diagnosis. no relief for her. Please send 2 year old Miss J all the white light you can spare. thank you.

    the good:

    finally a diagnosis for my special needs greytBoy from a new veterinarian. still no guarantees, but at least we now know what we’re dealing with.

    dogs. they teach me so much.

    shiva nata every day

  23. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space

    @Riv: oh my, the dragon slaying vs gardening metaphors? They are fantastic! I am totally moving into your meme beach house and reminding myself to calm down I am digging a hole for a seedling, not slaying a dragon here already! It’s okay!!! It’s all PART of it, everything is an experiment, just playing with it and seeing how it goes! There are no dragons around, it will be okay. Aaaaaahhhh I can feel my poor overworked adrenaline drenched shoulders relaxing already! Thank you xx

  24. Melody
    Twitter: melodykiersz

    Ok, so… it’s Tuesday where I’m at right now, so I’m super late.

    The Hard:

    Honestly, I cannot really complain. My hard this week has been adjusting to the fact that I’m heading back home after being in Thailand for the past two months. It’s been such an amazing and healing experience, as always and part of me is scared that I won’t be able to bring this new me with me back home. But I’m staying open to the possibilities of what might happen.

    The Superb:

    Really… SO much! I had quite an amazing week with my Thailand family in Koh Phangan, reconnecting with nature, the jungle, wildness and freedom. Sleeping in the middle of the jungle. Playing with a wild cat. The best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life. Love, love and more love. Connection with old friends and new family.

    Seriously, I’m so deeply grateful. I’m blessed!

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