Comments on: Not a personal ad.

By: diving off the cliff « seriousWhimsy

diving off the cliff « seriousWhimsy — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 19:55:56 +0000

[...] It’s definitely a journey. I want to rest in knowing that things are going to keep getting better, and yet I know that it’s still going to take work and communication and all those parts of sex that I’d been avoiding. It isn’t easy for me to ask for what I want, and I’m starting to see that that’s a theme. [...]

By: LindaH

LindaH — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:47:08 +0000

I had to have a go at answering these questions over on my blog as I’ve not been able to work out why I wasn’t doing it!
I’ve got a bit more of an idea now but I think I need to dig a bit deeper.
Thanks Havi, as usual you ask the best questions!
.-= LindaH´s last post … Not a personal ad. =-.

By: Wormy

Wormy — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:02:33 +0000

One thing I find very confusing about personal ads is when you write them and they appear to come waltzing into your life and then waltz out.

Bewildering and Scary.

Um, and there are all kinds of self blame games you can play with yourself over it. The “well it’s because I don’t believe I deserve it” game or the “it must be because I wrote it wrong” game or “it’s because I’m not ready” and so on and so on.

I have played them and probably will continue to for a while! :)

On the other hand, the sensible, compassionate voice says, “Nonsense! You’re ready just as you are, your ad was perfect as it was and you do deserve it.” Because I think by writing something you can finally admit just a small part of what I want and that it’s the *intention* that counts.

Or have I just got this all wrong and I actually have the universe playing silly buggers and laughing evily at me?!
.-= Wormy´s last post … Biggification â€“ it’s not just for business you know =-.

By: Anna-Liza

Anna-Liza — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 06:18:59 +0000

Ah, you’re so good at this. I know at least some of what I would ask for, so maybe I’ll skip that one for now (until I come up against what I want to ask for but don’t know what it is). And I actually do believe this can work … just that it won’t work for me, specifically.

I know, but that’s where I am.

So … Even though I feel really, really uncomfortable when I just start to think about asking for stuff … I am realizing that I have an underlying belief that *whatever I want, I can’t have/whatever I love will be taken away* and I’m really pretty tired of still believing that.
.-= Anna-Liza´s last post … Pollyanna Sews Again (Well, She Thinks About It) =-.

By: Andi

Andi — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:53:07 +0000

I did answer the questions over at my blog. I couldn't come up with a kicky title, so I borrowed yours. :) Thank you again for posting this, answering the questions is helping to clarify where some of the big stuck is living. .-= Andi´s last post ... Not a Personal Ad =-.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:51:55 +0000

Havi, this is very, very smart! I really love how you open up space and offer such interesting possibilities. I have felt stuck about asking for things for a while, though I never would have mentioned it or even asked for clarity. In fact, I didn’t even know I had issues until you mentioned the potential challenges around this practice.

I think the “greedy” issue hits the nail on the head for me. Also, I fear I’ll somehow curse myself for asking for something. Because I got all cocky in the asking, I’ll never get it (because I don’t deserve it). Or worse, I’ll actually get it but wish I didn’t. I’ll wish I had the wisdom to know that it would turn out to not be the best thing for me. That I should have shut my trap and waited for whatever to happen.

Whoa.

That apparently hit a nerve.

Lots of gunk being stirred up, that’s for sure. I’ll be thinking about this for a while…
.-= Dawn´s last post … The Phinish Line =-.

By: Serena

Serena — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:47:32 +0000

Ok so this is a post I really really needed. Thank you Havi!!
So I see how one could write an ad for a wonderful compassionate dentist (I’ll be writing one of those myself soon) or to connect with another needed person or thing. But can you ask the Universe for a moment? I really love Hiro’s comment about a love letter to the Universe.
My personal ad would be for the Universe to slow time down just by a moment. The moment between me doing the Very Scary Thing and reacting to the Very Scary Thing by freaking out and turning into a bowl of jelly on the floor (green jello of course). Can I ask for that? Because in that moment I can breathe, and tell myself I’m ok, and practice some Emergency Calming Techniques….. but I can’t seem to find that moment and …. BAM! freakout.

By: creativevoyage

creativevoyage — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:41:28 +0000

oh what BRILLIANT QUESTIONS !

Yes I can see that they would be very helpful.

Writing random personal ads with no rhyme or thread is my thing……….
.-= creativevoyage´s last post … more on SA wines =-.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:21:59 +0000

OK – I’ll take two out of the three. Oddly enough, I do believe this works, I just have some stuff in the way.

Even though I don’t know what I would even ask for…

I’d like to ask that getting my websites up be easier and less perfect that my mind says it has to be, that my websites don’t have to be perfect to start with (like Fabeku), that my blog posts don’t have to be like Havi’s, that my first class doesn’t have to have 500 people to be OK. That I am OK, and my work is OK, if I continue to build momentum with my actions (thank you, Molly Gordon, for that reframing thought).

Even though I feel really, really uncomfortable when I just start to think about asking for stuff…

I’d like for my websites to be up within two weeks, and the people that listen to Wendy’s and my first free call (Sept 24) to be excited about what they hear.

And that I keep working and asking for stuff while I am also feeling really really uncomfortable about the asking thing.

Meredith
.-= Meredith´s last post … Travelogue to Flat Rock, NC =-.

By: Hiro Boga

Hiro Boga — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:43:42 +0000

For me, a personal ad expresses my heart’s deepest longing–it’s a love letter to the Universe, a way of connecting, communicating, and aligning with all the forces that conspire to make me whole.

So I don’t use it for everything I want. Like Barbara Carter (hi Barbara!), I know how to create most of the things I want in fairly straightforward ways.

It’s the things that are part of the greater Mystery that need me to call to them through a personal ad.
.-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Sailing the Unknown Sea: #2 =-.