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Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, evehttp://thefluentself.wpengine.com/wp-admin/admin.php?page=wordpress-related-posts&ref=adminbarn when asking feels conflicted.

I invariably discover useful information about my relationship with the thing I think I want, and with the experience of Wanting itself. Join in if you like….

What do I want?

The situation. And background.

You know the point where you have so many things to do that you’re completely paralyzed and can’t do even one of them?

Of course you do. You are alive, and reading something on the internet.

Anyway, it’s a big, busy, stressful week here, and I have way too many baskets.

So. I need help with the hallway and I need help with the garden, and both of these are metaphorical. So are the baskets. It’s all metaphors all the time around here, apparently.

(The hallway is the hallway from “when one door closes, another one opens…but it’s hell in the hallway”. The garden is where all the fractal flowers live.)

What I want.

It has to do with alignment.

Alignment. Lining up. Congruence. Subtle shifting.

This is not the bullshit fascist alignment that you might run into a yoga class or at the gym. (Your knee has to be directly over your ankle or you will DIE! Even though actually we each have different bodies and differently shaped bones and joints, and we all fit together differently so this makes no sense, and also you live in your body so it’s your job to figure out what feels safe and comfortable for you, not someone else’s, and there is a lot more I could say about this but it is besides the point.)

I’m talking about plink plink, the sound of things falling into place. I’m talking about things coming into conscious, loving, harmonious relationship with each other. I’m talking about facilitating that through getting quiet, paying attention, playing and experimenting.

Anyway, I have all these things, and I need them to support each other and to support me. So that each tiny step I take towards one of them is secretly helping all the other ones line up too. And I need as much help and support as possible.

  1. Mission: Preparing for Operation Big Tent. Maybe Alon can help.
  2. Mission: Write about Aperture #1.
  3. What if instead of saying Hello to July this year because I apparently do not wish to do that, maybe I can examine my relationship with July instead. Change the ritual.
  4. The Sail of Yard. This will require a Puttering Day. When can this happen?
  5. Aperture #2. Investigate!
  6. Aperture #3. Investigate!
  7. There are TWELVE THINGS that need wording, and this is scaring the hell out of me, because my monsters are convinced that any one of these could take all week. We can also use alignment for this, in the form of the Alignment practice.
  8. The list of ideas for the Big Tent op. R can help edit this but I need a draft.
  9. The Mystery of the Missing Portals, first step.
  10. Mission Avoid The 6.
  11. Priscila, Queen of the Sea.

And: how can all or most of this take place in the sun? Because I want to be in the sun.

The qualities inside of the wants:

Trust. Ease. Sustenance. Contentment. Plenty. Peace. Release. Receive.

And the superpower or sankalpa of trusting my instincts.

What might help?

Remember the Fractal Flowers. The alignment caper on repeat. Stick with the compass.

What else might help?

Conduct. Take it to the grass.

You can’t do all the baskets, but you are working towards fewer baskets. This is the path to the next Vicarage. Breathe. you can do this.

And of course, play at the Floop because the Floop is magic.

I’m playing with…

Even more secret agent code.

What I want.

Some of these are secret agent code and some are taking a silent retreat on.

Some are qualities and some are dreams. Some are re-asks and some are pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

  • The Sale of Yard is easy and fun, and so are the Exceptions.
  • Operation Big Tent is a big sigh of relief, and I feel better afterwards. And if I don’t, then I am going to the beach with Monsieur LeBlanc of the Other Agency until I do.
  • Next year in Jerusalem, except not.
  • Let’s keep skipping all the stones.
  • Be Like Water, Havi Bell.
  • One of the Apertures is the right one, or the right one for now, and I can feel it.
  • Just child’s pose.
  • I’m glad it’s happening like this, actually.

Repeat-wishes

  • I rest into miracles, and then THERE THEY ARE.
  • I actively choose quiet.
  • Left-handed labyrinth.
  • Perfect simple solutions, suddenly visible!
  • Sound effects for my internal video game.
  • Going to the 9&9, even when it isn’t nine or nine.
  • Ahahaha I am an accidental genius! SOLVED.
  • Well-rested: the first and best well.
  • What do I need? What do I want?
  • Sweet blissful steadiness.
  • Things that need to exit now exit gracefully.
  • Things that need to come in now are received with love.

The qualities inside of the wants:

Play. Sweetness. Steadiness. Grounding. Heart. Comfort. Rejuvenation. Strength.

And the superpower of I Fill The Hallway With Candles And Sing It A Sweet Song.

I ask for this one every week, but not bored of it yet: I can see the secret holiness of everything.

Ways this could work.

It just could.

I’m playing with…

Taking it to the swingset.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Okay, last week, aka Operation ACTIVATE.

Things are being activated. Some more quickly than others. But: progress.

Also, during the birthday picnic, we covered a lot of activation ground.

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.

xox