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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Visions #189: A hot date with Incoming Me

very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: More about transition.

Here’s what I want:

The Vicarage changed everything, as I knew it would.

Now it’s time for integration. And quiet processing. This is the voyage after the voyage.

The qualities inside of the want:

Presence. Grace. Trust. Congruence. Playfulness. Flow. Attentiveness. Quiet.

And the superpower of having a library whenever I need one.

Ways this might work:

Using silent retreat for everything.

I’m playing with…

Taking notes on the process for next time.

Thing 2: RALLY!

Here’s what I want:

This week is Rally (Rally!).

It is Rally #24, which is a lot of Rallies to have rallied/verb-ed.

And it’s been several months since the last Rally.

I want all the Rally superpowers to show up!

The qualities inside of the want:

Ease. Trust. Shelter. Hilarity. Play. Grounding. Spaciousness. Containment

The superpowers of Rally: Everything that happens at Rally is part of Rally. Nothing is wrong. Clews are everywhere. Proxies solve everything. Away Rio.

And the superpower of being the secret queen of the Humming Castle.

Ways this might work:

Well, you know. The fountain probably knows.

And the compass. I can use the compass.

I’m playing with…

Silent retreat.

Thing 3: A hot date with Incoming Me.

Here’s what I want:

Having just had two whole weeks to do nothing but sit with incoming me, it feels weird to have to schedule us-time.

I want us to PLAY.

The qualities inside of the want:

Sweetness. Excitement. Commitment. Delight. Wonder. Time.

And the superpower of following instincts unhesitatingly.

Ways this might work:

I don’t have to know this yet.

I’m playing with…

Finding out what would make this fun. It has to do with presence…

Thing 4: Related: the superpower of Joyful Presence.

Here’s what I want:

Either I make things fun through being present. Or I use fun to help myself be more present.

But this is the quality that I bring to things.

There is a version of me who knows how to do this, and I’m going to get to know her better.

It feels like getting ready for going out dancing. But my hot date is with me.

The qualities inside of the want:

Delight. Tingly anticipation. Willingness. Playfulness. Laughter. Curiosity. Presence.

And the superpower of secret smiles. Also the superpower of being TROUBLE. But in a good way.

Ways this might work:

I don’t have to know this yet.

I’m playing with…

Being clear about how I want to feel.

Noticings about the things I want this week…

It’s all about PLAY. Unsurprisingly. Which means: wear more costumes and let everything be a costume. I’m taking this to the Bat Cave!

Bonus wishes, please!

Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

  • Mini-epiphanies.
  • Letting the compass do what it needs to do.
  • Quiet companionship.
  • Bus passes.
  • Playmate playmate playmate.
  • Stones.
  • Clues
  • Treasure.
  • Rest.
  • Using the vault.
  • I hate to use the phrase “trust the process”, but oh man: trust the process.

I’m playing with…

Being at Stompopolis. Humming the hum.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Silent retreat for now…

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.


12 Responses to Visions #189: A hot date with Incoming Me

  1. VickiB says:

    I love these visions, Havi. They dance in my head. And the superpowers!

    This week’s visions, an abbreviated list:

    Cabo Bojador
    At-home Rallying in spirit with the Rallions at Rally in Portal-Land
    Project: Eject
    Write write write
    Play play play

    I want the superpowers of completion and repletion.

  2. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Hi, week. Will there be enough of you? Lessee…

    A Thing: commanding the track [proxy].

    Qualities of the want: knowledge. decisiveness. confidence. room for risk. profit.

    WTMW: research. perspective. gratitude — this new Thing is actually an answer to some older Things when I really look at it.

    I’ll play with: starting a racing/betting notebook. Tying this Thing to another Thing.

    Progress report: More progress with some older Things than the recent ones. Which may be part of a larger pattern, aka Everything Needs More Time.

    Noticing: Now is not Then, because I _can_ give myself more time with the ongoing Things. That was not an option for me at 19 or 26 or 38.

    Bonus wishes:
    * lightening — glasses, hair, weight, baggage…
    * erasures/revisions/marks — right timing, right places
    * windfall/support for friends in straits
    * fresh pleasures for friends in good shape

    Warm wishes to all y’all.
    Mechaieh recently posted… “wound and bound together and enflowing”

  3. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    I have been cranky lately. What I want is to de-crank.

    Qualities inside the want: Peace. Comfort. Ease. Kindness. Softening.

    Ways this might work: I don’t know yet. I’m hoping that simply planting the wish will be enough to set things in motion.

    I’m playing with: You. Hi, there. :)
    Kathleen Avins recently posted… Two things.

  4. Esme
    Twitter: TheRealSqualor

    I want all the VPAs I did last week. They’re going well, just not finished yet. I want peace and play through all of it. I also want to remember to take care of myself during this time.

    I’d also like to make a pre-wish for something, filled with the qualities of congruence, love, trust, support, and community.
    Esme recently posted… Bourgeois

  5. Sue T says:

    So excited for Rally! this week. And even though it is somewhat nervous excitement, it still will be much more-ish than I can imagine from this point 22 hours away.

    Warm wishes for Havi and all my fellow Rallions!

  6. Pearl says:

    Two visions this week, one small, one large.

    Thing One: I would really love to have a set of stone skipping cards.

    WTMW: Some kind Rallion might be willing to pick up some for me and contact me to let me know how I can repay them/be willing to ship them to me (unless they live in Eugene, in which case I’d be happy to schedule a secret meeting at a cafe for the exchange)

    Thing Two: Starting out February sick threw off my grand entrance, but it also made me much more aware of all of the ways my body needs more support and care. Thing Two is to find ways in which to give my body the support and care it needs.

    I could go for a walk during the day
    I could do more yoga
    I could bring more attention to what I’m eating and why
    I could do more writing about why these things are so hard for me (answer: spoons)
    I could ask people to give me their stories about how they make time and how they make body-care into FUN
    I could look for clews
    I could keep searching the internet frantically, convinced that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE has already written the “how to make exercise and body-care fun without even trying” article (Yeah, that’s not working so well)
    I could talk to the monster that doesn’t want me buying the dance DVD I found this weekend about why we’re not allowed to get it.
    I could investigate finding OTHER ways to dance
    The universe could spontaneously generate all of the answers and drop them in my lap.
    Pearl recently posted… The Seductiveness of Morality

  7. seagirl says:

    Warms wishes for people’s visions!

    I want all the wantings I wanted last week.
    An update: Had a meeting with someone who gave me more clues and who said “I’m very interested in helping you pursue this” and has the power to help me pursue it! And talked to more people who gave me more clues. I feel like a game piece plunk plunk plunking along. Another meeting on Thursday! Moving forward and refining my vision.

  8. Sarah
    Twitter: sarahemily

    This week I want to learn about an incoming me who is teasing me with glimpses of her. She’s flirtatious and a bit mysterious and quite sexy. I am excited about this.

    If I was writing this yesterday, I would have wanted to unstick a particular thing, but thanks to a lovely session with Corie… it has come unstuck.

    I want to meet more right people in person. I want more friends, of all stripes. I have a story about everyone in Stamford being way too conventional for me, which I am trying to question, but I may also think about looking for things to do in NYC too and see if it’s different/better there.

    Also, adventure. Life needs more adventure right now. Clearly I keep swinging wildly between MORE ADVENTURE! and OH NO! NEED STABILITY! which is okay. wondering if the pendulum is slowing, or at least (hopefully maybe?) I’m going to get better at figuring out how much of each I need. Right now I’m thinking about alternating days… it’s feeling like maybe the right amount but I need more things that feel properly adventure-y. Working on this.
    Sarah recently posted… Where Do You Shine Online?

  9. Elizabeth
    Twitter: Elizabetherself

    Hello visions and visioneers

    I ordered a new garage door opener, so there’s some good entry for the week already, one button and then whoosh. Also: all new socks, dollar a pair, bright stripes, yay.

    I would like more ease into stabilizing the 3 key elements, to know the proper pace of this

    To be asleep by 11 nightly

    To know the order of the things

    A really wonderful vision of the future

    Where to not be so upsetting

    Ease into revision and please please please the energy and focus necessary for this, also the efficiency factor to be high, and any fear/anxiety to dissipate. Major leaps forward, a chunk done by next week.

    Something concrete and beautiful for a vision at bedtime so that I feel truly safe and okay

    Let go of clearing things out for now

    Entry into a little more social/fun time

    New super effective daily ritual for dissolving anxiety and fear ( or at least for remembering that doing so is always a possibility)

    Superpowers I need: energy, ease, revision

  10. Pearl says:

    Many thanks to Mechaieh, who offered to send me her stone skipping cards. Yay!

    @Havi – Really? Well, then, if the postal service falls through and I don’t get Mechaieh’s package, I might just bat my eyes and wheedle for a delivery.
    Pearl recently posted… The Seductiveness of Morality

  11. Whitney
    Twitter: paleandnerdy

    Hello visions, hello visioneers. I am here to gwish.

    -The resignation to go with ease, grace, sweetness, and sovereignty, even when that feels impossible.
    -a mystery-filled trip to the hot springs
    -Clearing out, and the energy for it
    -Red, purple and green

    The rest are secret wants that I will plant here.

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