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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Visions #179: A quality in a quantity!

very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: Horizon and water.

Here’s what I want:

Horizon. And water. And an absence of most other things.

I have caught the tiniest glimpse of a possible pirate queen holiday. It’s how I imagine it would feel to get an accidental peek at the fair ankle of a lady when you’re a knight back from doing knight-things. Not sure where that came from. But I’m sticking with it.

The point is: I am fascinated. And aching with longing. I WANT THIS SO BADLY. It is not just a vacation, it is off the grid. It is water and horizon and writing, and I want.

The qualities inside of the want:

Desire. Faith. Trust. Presence. Heart. Certainty. Sovereignty. Rest. Vision.

And the superpower of remembering the humming castle: being the queen means humming the hum.

Ways this might work:

Processing. Planning. Both in the hard and in the soft. External and internal.

In the soft: More talking this through with my you can’t go on vacation and if you do you can’t tell anyone about it monsters, who are the second-most vocal clan.

In the hard: Tracking down the right traveling companion. Setting it up. Making space. Finding out which loose ends need to be tied up by which dates, and will doing that destroy me or is that just monsters? Because it kind of seems like this might require DOING ALL THE THINGS before I go. But if I don’t go, this is a disaster. See? Doing things in the hard invariably also turns out to be about the soft.

But mainly: it could just work. I need this.

I’m playing with…

Interviewing both Incoming Me and the me-who-has-come-back-from-this-holiday, to see what they know.

Thing 2: A quality in a quantity!

Here’s what I want:

At the Sunday cafe I order a pot of Harmony tea. Harmony! In a pot!

This, to me, is the funniest thing ever. It is direct-to-the-Havi-funny-bone funny.

Just the idea that you can get a quantity of a quality is hilarious.

Like, I would like a bucket of trust please! With a bowl of focus. Also let me trade in this cup of despair for something else because it’s not actually mine.

I want to see and feel this everywhere, by playing with it.

Look, it’s a bus shelter of shelter! It’s a truckload of wonder. Like that.

Also Harmony is what the last Incoming Me wanted me to call her, so it feels like coming home to her whenever I order a pot of her name.

The qualities inside of the want:

Playfulness. Presence. Appreciation. Delight. Silliness. Laughter. Perspective.

And the superpower of looking inside of things.

Ways this might work:

Planting it here.

I’m playing with…

Being playful and also drinking lots of tea.

Thing 3: Clearing out the cobwebs.

Here’s what I want:

Lots of Congruencing.

That is my word for clearing things out, throwing things away, moving things around. Whatever feels like it is in support of congruence.

I don’t like to talk about organizing. It’s not about that.

It’s really about the opposite of stagnation. It’s about choosing flow. It is clearing out everything that is sticky and cobwebby and done.

Anyway, I want a lot of this. ANd I’m a bit worried because I already have a ton of things to do, and also there are some serious piles of iguanas and doom to look at and INOWANNA.

So I guess what I really want is for congruencing and cobweb-clearing to be energizing and fun. For the mood to strike! As it has in the past few days. Basically more of that.

The qualities inside of the want:

Play. Lightness. Support. Form. Freedom. Possibility. Wonder. Spaciousness. Harmoniousness. Movement. Flow. Excitement. Anticipation. Glow.

The superpower of letting new air in.

Ways this might work:

Whenever I get a burst of energy.

A piece at a time. Just one thing. Or: ten things gone. Wandering around the house and pretending that Incoming Me is the guest-lover-friend I am preparing for. Because she is. And I am.

I’m playing with…

Goodbye, cobwebs!

Noticings about the things I want this week…

Like last week, a craving for playfulness and laughter. Also this element of desire and anticipation. And there is also a theme that feels like water. Not just water itself but the superpowers of water to move things and clear them.

Bonus wishes, please!

Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

  • A talk with the me who has not bought [X] for Stompopolis yet. Why is it good that it has taken this long? Find out what she knows about right timing.
  • Fun percentages without context! With thanks to Bonnie for the best idea ever.
  • Post the herring.
  • Notes for the dolphin adoption agency? Yes, that’s a proxy too.
  • Alchemilla.
  • A delight-filled Hannukah. Light. Candles. Levivot. Warmth. Singing. Friends. Dedication and rededication of spaces, internal and external. Happiness and ALL THE FRIED FOODS.
  • Write and send an invitation for [candles].
  • Find out if Noah wants to come have dinner at Hoppy House.
  • Ask for bolster recommendations.
  • Sign-ups for my class on TIME! I am very excited about this class and I kind of think everyone should be. Also, it’s the prerequisite for the Year of Emptying & Replenishing.
  • The red rose missive.
  • Beautiful hangers that can be displayed. Wood?
  • Energized peacefulness!

I’m playing with…

Using the paperless app to make this fun. Asking R or M to come with me to the cafe. The magic of Fake Beach Day. And of course the superpower of Dedication. Speaking of which:

HAPPY SECOND NIGHT OF HANNUKAH, you guys. Chag urim sameach.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted to experiment with living by the motto of We Shall Be Chill And Defrazzle. Which kind of worked and kind of didn’t. Actually, no, it did. I learned a lot about things that work and also about things that don’t. There were good pockets of peacefulness.

Also I am using my Conducting Vault (more on that to come) more, and that is helping with both the chill and the defrazzling.

Then I wanted to watch the barns burn while drinking whiskey. And I did. Maybe someday I will write about it.

Next I wanted help with and/or from the Magical Badger Brigade. That started out really stressful but I ended up having an outrageously productive week where things that haven’t moved for months all got done. So: yay.

Also big appreciation to the Floop where I played and problem-solved all week. The best.

And I wanted delighted enthusiasm for the Year of Emptying & Replenishing, and this happened too! Beyond expectations. And also I love that my people have shortened it to Y.E.A.R., which I think is funny and perfect and sweet.

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.


16 Responses to Visions #179: A quality in a quantity!

  1. VickiB says:

    Wishing you all the joy for Hannukah.

    Making a list of Visions feels different from making a list of “what I want”. Especially this time of year, when what I want evokes memories of the letter to Santa.

    Vision #1:
    I have a vision of spending much time with loving people.

    What this could be like:
    Happiness, loving, joy-filled.

    How this could happen:
    I’ll see my friends B, M, and CT this week.
    I can call JL, JH, and my sister B. and maybe Susan H.
    We’re invited to T’s party on
    We could go to Mom’s.

    Vision #2:
    I have a vision similar to your “Clearing out the cobwebs”, of my house without the clutter of misplaced and unwanted objects and stagnant energy.

    What this could be like:
    Peaceful, contentment, beauty, pleasure, love.

    How this could happen:
    I could get energized, maybe because of spending time with my loving friends, and find it easy and fun to do this.
    Pomodoros for the iguanas. (Feeding tomatoes to the reptiles!)
    I could do some of the things the Butler usually does, and then he/she could help me do some of the things.

    Vision #3:
    I have a vision of Entering the holiday.

    I have a vision of giving and receiving loving gifts.
    I have a vision of beautiful lights and decorations in my house: a small tree sparkling by the window, electric candles glowing on either side, poinsettias and chrysanthemums on the hearth, and a fire in the fireplace, and treasured other ornaments in just the right place.
    I have a vision of holiday music, and of singing carols.

    What this could be like:
    Joy, love, sweetness, tradition, roots, memories, belonging.

    How this could happen:
    With the help of the Butler, I can get the decorations and ornaments out.
    I can buy the plants once the hearth is cleared.
    I can look in the newspaper for caroling events, the Festival of Trees, and other holiday-related activities.
    I can bring in the wood.
    I can put music on the stereo.
    I can go shopping for the rest of the gifts.

    I feel excited and happy writing this. But there’s a little warning voice that says I’ll be too tired to do much, if any, of this. From Vision #1 through Vision #3.

    Vision #4:
    I have a vision of moving out of zombie-ville.

    What this could be like:
    I’d have energy.
    I’d feel awake.
    I’d do things!

    How this could happen:
    Ice water.
    Coffee or tea.
    Being with friends and helpful people.

    Wishing success to everyone’s wishes and visions.

  2. Claire McAll
    Twitter: making_space

    Vicki and Havi: warmest good wishes for a water and flow and candle and rest and replenishment filled week for you. xoxoxo

    Throwing some gwishes into the pot: (as S would say, Nell Cadrone! like operatic Italian witches. Strega Nonna: Nell cadrone!’ like that.)

    + ease and progress with multiple interactions with multiple bureaucracies that need to happen.

    + for the outward flow of money for things I need to slow down now. I really think I’ve built the dam now? Paying attention to the flow.

    + space/time dedicated to entering my interactions (bureaucratic and human) and to Setting The Tone and also Forcefielding But In A Way That Works For Me.

    + even more entering and setting the tone. Field notes?!?? On (gasp!) paper??? Nell cadrone! I am an Italian witch, I can magic even the most unlikely things up.

    + homes for all my stuff. External AND internal. Finding them, creating them, using them. Making space is easy when everything has a home.

    Nell cadrone!!

  3. Sarah
    Twitter: sarahemily

    Happy Hanukkah!

    I would like

    +A Sarah-full of sovereignty (I was wondering what to call a me-sized container, and then I realized that of course, it is me!)
    +A gallon of permission
    +A box of presence (hehehe, box of presents?)
    +A truckload of trust
    +A vault of right-timing
    +A teaspoon of clarity

    Those things. Tangibly, I’d like the subletter to have a closing date, and I’d like the perfectly simple solution for my solo business retreat and I’d like to just let it be okay that it’s hard right now.
    Sarah recently posted… The Battle Cry of the Entrepreneur

  4. Janet
    Twitter: jkbtulsa

    I want laughter more than anything right now. Whether it be bucketfuls or basket loads. I want to roll around in fields of laughter. Maybe even down the hill into the fields of laughter. Thanks Havi for encouraging us!

  5. seagirl says:

    Last week I wanted lawyerly help and I got it. In spades. From my favorite helpful lawyer. He said “It will be best if we just handle it from here” which means I can relax. Which means that’s what my clients want from me, to relax, and live their life while I deal with lawyer stuff.

    I also wanted a mattress. I still want a mattress. Keeping this pinned.

    I wanted boy stuff. Some things came up here, out with a good wingman friend who was noticing people noticing me. And talking about the past in a way to free myself from it, not bring it with me. Good things. But more please.

    I want prosperity to buoyantly slide into the new year. On a cushion of funds with bills all paid, and lots of ease.

    And past me apparently placed a VPA for a wonderfully organized house and 2 loaves of bread rising in the oven, because that’s what’s here, and future me will be so pleased.

  6. Pearl says:

    Vicki, I love your “feeding tomatoes to the lizards” – so appropriate!

    Happy Festival of Lights to any and all celebrating.

    Calling my wishes Thing One and Thing Two gives me gigglefits thinking of Dr. Suess, so that’s what I”m going to do.

    Thing One:
    Work last week was hard. Grumpy boss, low motivation to do anything but get through the work and get home to hide. My wish for this week is much more EASE related to work.

    How this might happen:
    + the boss might be more at ease with how things are going this week
    + I could commit to doing some yoga each day to prepare for work, to arrive at the Doing of Things with a stretched perspective
    + I could commit to doing some journaling regularly this week, to check the monsters into Monster Day Care and be able to do the Doing of Things with a clear and unencumbered mind.
    + I could put on the costume of She Who Is Not Annoyed with the Neverending Project or mayve She Who is Really Excited About Producing New Things (I mistyped maybe – I guess SWiREAPNT is named Maeve…)
    + I could encourage Thing Two to come out to play

    Thing Two
    I’ve… drifted… away from working on my stuff in the past couple of months, and it came around to a melting, crying puddle of hurt and want this weekend. What I wish for the next week is a gentle Noticing of my patterns and maybe – MAYBE – a bit of doorway building for the vacation days I have scheduled in two weeks so that I can devote that time to refreshment.

    How this might happen:
    + I could talk with Upcoming-Me about what she needs for her break
    + I could chat over tea with Me-Who-Is-Now about what need is filled by noticing.
    + I could set aside some pretend beach time for writing down what I’ve noticed before something else distracts me.

  7. Elizabeth
    Twitter: Elizabetherself

    Rest. Peace . Solitude. Support. Staying away from opinions on the Internet. Only doing an hour on silent retreat this week, owning it, letting go. Yin yoga Tuesday. Feeling healthy enough to work some and have one weekend plan. Paleo/gaps food with ease. Shiva Nata and yin yoga at home if I have energy. Powders and broth. And I want things to be funny and kind of crack me up a lot.

  8. Elizabeth
    Twitter: Elizabetherself

    Also, we need a good and affordable web designer who can provide a website makeover in Joomla. If any chickens have suggestions, please let me know! Thank you.

  9. Max Daniels
    Twitter: maxdaniels

    Mmmmm, horizon and water! I’ve been envisioning that all weekend – not for myself, necessarily, but because I saw Life of Pi. And there is a LOT of horizon and water in that movie.

    (Where LOT is a Quantity.)

    Anyway, warmest of wishes for your horizon and water and writing, Havi!
    Max Daniels recently posted… Wayfinding Week 47: Improbable shoes

  10. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    O my, I also want to order pots of tea of qualities! Or Jane-sized amounts of quantities!

    Also, happy Hannukah!

    And a quiet thank you for this space, and for it’s help in bringing myself back to self when I’m experiencing a teapot (or three) of frustration and annoyance.
    Jane recently posted… Greeting the day, Goddess-style

  11. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Happy Chanukah! I haven’t had latkes yet, but we did have some delicious fried fish for dinner last night.

    Oh, let me throw some things into the pot this week, and season them with love and playfulness:

    –A strong, healthy singing voice, and the wisdom to care for it and keep it that way.
    –A cozy, affectionate visit with my mother.
    –Enough money to keep the wolf from the door.
    –Festive entertainments that energize more than they exhaust.

    Sprinkling magic dust to illuminate everyone’s Visions this week!
    Kathleen Avins recently posted… Season of little lights.

  12. Corie Weaver
    Twitter: coriejweaver

    Sparkles to all the Visions!

    Vision one:
    Finding three new right people for a project.
    How this could work:
    I could make sure the project is visible. I could ask people. I could brainstorm with partners in crime about places to find people to ask.

    Vision two:
    An easy transition of things in preparation for a week of travel. So much possibility for chaos, and there needs to be ease.
    How this could work:
    Make lists, lots of lists. Cross off the things that just don’t really matter.

    Vision three:
    The super power of containers. To pick things up, work on them, and then put them down and have super clean boundaries between them.
    How this could work:
    Entry and exit time and rituals.

    Vision four:
    To keep revisiting the ideas of daily/weekly rituals. Percolating on how this best works for me.
    How this could work:
    Stone skipping. Letting it simmer.
    Corie Weaver recently posted… Surprises

  13. Do Mi Stauber
    Twitter: dmstauber

    Water. This reminds me of a quote from poem by Lawrence Raab. I’ve carried it around in my heart for years.

    Water has spent a long time learning
    how to fill with itself
    the space of a missing thing
    Do Mi Stauber recently posted… The Judges and the Storyteller

  14. Barrett says:

    I signed up for TIME! And for next year’s Floop. I am a newbie here, so this is a big leap into the unknown for me!

    Happy Hanukkah! I am enjoying the holiday through the eyes of my 1.5 year old. Course all he wants to do is touch the burning candles — aah! That’s more stressful than I anticipated, so I am eating more sufganiyot/donuts (FRIED FOOD!) to make up for it.

    If you are looking for yoga bolster recs, Havi, I have some :) There are peeps on Etsy who make more beautiful bolsters than the typical yoga merch companies.

    Lastly, I started to write my first VPA! But not ready, or needing, to share. It’s a work in progress, and, of course, it’s very personal… But just to know that you inspired me to think/write this way, and it’s only tuesday, so it bodes well for a purpose-full week.

    Barrett recently posted… November Yoga Babies!

  15. Haloquin says:

    Ooooh ooh! Can I be excited about the Harmony tea? It reminds me of a wonderful story where a little girl goes to fairyland and ends up in a bathhouse where her courage and her hopes are washed by a soap golem! So lovely!
    (It is called: “A Girl Who circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her own Making” by Cat Valente, do you know it?)

    I love the comparing of ‘visioning’ to ‘want-lists’ Vicki, thank you for the reminder, and the ‘me-sized-containers’ Yay! I love when I stumble onto this site, as it inspires whole tea-services full of delightfulness.

    Hmmm, gwishes? Visions? For the next week?

    How I wish to feel…
    +At ease
    +Unburdened (light? Flying?)
    +Graceful… (Images of swan lake appearing.)
    +Free (My word for this year!)
    +Preparing for adventure

    How I might manifest this?
    +Stop overfilling my handbag!
    +Practice travelling light
    +Maybe clear out a corner of full storage boxes?
    +Dance in the livingroom
    +Sing more
    +Plot an adventure somewhere, maybe just a busride to a nearby town with my camera?

    +Allowing the Unfolding.

    Good luck and pixie dust for all the gwishes and visions!!! And happy holy-days for all!
    Haloquin recently posted… Map Making Step 5 – An Enchantress… causes change

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