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Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Doing something different this week. I’ve noticed that so much (most!) of what I want has to do with the qualities that live inside of the thing I think I want.

So I’m adding a bit about qualities to each section, and giving them their own ask at the end. We’ll see what that’s like.

Thing 1: My own personal Ducking Out.

Here’s what I want:

Okay, so the past two years I ran a special Rally over the week of American Thanksgiving.

It was called the Great Ducking Out, and it was the BEST. It turned Thanksgiving from what is (for me) something stressful and horrible, and made it shiny, cozy, sheltering and fun.

This year I’m not doing that. I have a very strong desire to be alone. But I want it to feel like the Ducking Out did.

The qualities inside of the want:

Spaciousness. Freedom. Autonomy. Quiet. Comfort. Queenliness. Safety. Warmth.

I am seeing a fireplace. Rich warm fabrics. Something about borders…

Ways this might work:

Making Thanksgiving Day into a mini-rally for me, at home.

With structures and forms. Interchangeable units that can be moved around as necessary.

Conducting, followed by Compassing, followed by Reflecting, followed by Stone Skipping, followed by old Turkish lady yoga. Like that.

I want to have things set up as much as possible in advance, so everything is ready for me and I just follow the breadcrumbs.

Hmm. Okay. I want a costume. And lots and lots of blankets. And a timetable.
And foods!

I’m playing with…

Maybe this mission needs a secret code name!

I am noticing that I am feeling worried that I won’t do anything about this until Thursday morning rolls around, so I am taking this to the Floop right now to figure it out. Maybe I can also find a friend who wants to do a similar thing (in the privacy of their own home).

And I will also write my yearly List of 77 Things. That will help.

Thing 2: All the closets become not-closets, I don’t know how to explain this yet.

Here’s what I want:

For a very long time I’ve been getting a … feeling? what is a word for something that is so much stronger than a feeling? … about my bedroom closet.

Mainly that it is not supposed to be my closet. It’s supposed to be a writing/meditation corner. And a space for napping.

Yes, it’s located IN MY BEDROOM, where there IS ALREADY A BED, but I’m apparently supposed to take naps in the closet. I know. I don’t get it either. But slightly future me has been very vocal about how important this is.

I’ve mostly been ignoring her because come on, where the hell am I supposed to put my clothes?

Except now it has become very clear (“rigorous scientific studies have shown”) that ignoring Incoming Me is the absolute worst thing I could ever do.

So. I want to turn my closet into a sort of refueling station. And I want to turn my Wish Room (formerly the office) into a giant living closet. Except not a closet.

A closet that is secretly a room for processing identity changes and desire through costume and beauty. And I want this to somehow be easy and fun and laughably inexpensive (read: doesn’t cost money at all right now).

The qualities inside of the want:

Flow. Newness. Play. Spaciousness. Shelter. Desire. Receptivity. Possibility. Reflection. Intimacy. Belonging. Congruence. Harmony.

Superpower: Everything that needs to open is opening!

Ways this might work:

I have no idea. I think I need to just start moving things around.

The dresser can go into the bedroom. The hanging clothes can go into the wish room.

Cushions on the floor.

There is also something in this about maps on walls and spaces to plant wishes.

I’m playing with…

Just starting. Being playful. Experimenting. Asking slightly future me for more information. Trusting that even though this whole thing sounds crazy, that’s okay.

Thing 3: Writing.

Here’s what I want:

There are all kinds of things I want to be writing about this week. Including:

  • The treasure box and the tiny stones.
  • The [thing that is not the tree of life!]
  • Sitting shiva.
  • Time and form.
  • The year of [X and Y].
  • The swap that is not a swap.
  • The question of the black dress.

Oh, and I want (this is probably its own ask) to tell the list about the Gwish Kit.

The qualities inside of the want:

Spaciousness. Curiosity. Exploration. Autonomy. Creativity. Form. Flow.

Ways this might work:

Taking my Fake Beach Day at the cafe again. Talking these over with Marisa or with my playmate. Playing with this on the Floop!

I’m playing with…

Giving things time to grow without pressure.

Remembering the fractal flowers.

Thing 3: The year of [X and Y].

Here’s what I want:

I have a huge amount of information about what I want to be doing in 2013.

I want to write it all down and start consolidating.

The qualities inside of the want:

Freedom. Flexibility. Discovery. Openings. Receptivity. Passage. Enthusiasm. Creativity. Wonder. Desire.

Ways this might work:

This could be a fun project-like thing for my quiet at-home Ducking Out Day.

And it might also need a proxy. Yay. Proxies are the best.

I’m playing with…

Putting it here. Wishing the wish. Remembering.

Noticings about the things I want this week…

Anticipation. Delight. Lightheartedness. Play. Lusciousness. Desire. Smiling. Having a secret light in my heart. Excitement. Mystery.

And, as always, freedom and autonomy are hugely important to me.

Bonus wishes, please!

Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

  • The vision of the castle, revisited. This time with more knights.
  • Purple.
  • All the points.
  • A stone returns.
  • The number 8 bus.

I’m playing with…

Getting quiet and listening.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Oh wow. I wanted courage to help with the not-an-identity-crisis, and it totally happened. Huge changes.

Then I wanted a just-right case for sunglasses, and found something on etsy that I like.

I wanted to announce the announcements and I have not done that, but I have been letting them percolate and have an idea about how I want to announce.

And I wanted to tell people about the Gwish Kit, which I kind of did but mostly didn’t. This is part of what I will sit with this week.

Most interesting is that I planted NINE bonus wishes, and all of them came true. Huh. Okay!

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.