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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Very Personal Ads #144: and now for something

very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Doing things COMPLETELY differently this week, inspired by last week’s wish for ten wishes.

So here we go…

I am wishing for ten things.

In secret code.

While connecting to qualities.

And asking four questions.

And then doing OODs.

Here are the ten wishes I’m wishing.

  1. Attuning to the superpower of AFFECTION (shhh, it’s actually listening to Jenny’s message and maybe even responding?).
  2. Attuning to the superpower of SUPPORT (shhh, it’s actually listening to Svevo’s message and calling him back).
  3. Attuning to the superpower of POWER (shhh, it’s actually figuring out the stuck paypal thing and getting help with that).
  4. Attuning to the superpower of NAMING (shhh, it’s actually telling Eloise what to put on the signs).
  5. Attuning to the superpower of RENEWAL (shhh, it’s actually the Edit Order on the not-a-coupon).
  6. Attuning to the superpower of DIVINE DISGUISE (shhh, it’s actually pieces of a special boutfit).
  7. Attuning to the superpower of FREEDOM (shhh, it’s actually a tiny ship).
  8. Attuning to the superpower of DELIGHT (shhh, it’s actually the imaginary forest).
  9. Attuning to the superpower of DEEP DESIRE (shhh, it’s actually amethyst colored).
  10. Attuning to the superpower of PURE DESTRUCTION (shhh, it’s actually dealing with the people I do not like to speak about).

Here are the four questions I’m asking about each of these:

1. What do I want?

Unpack this.

2. What do I know about why I want this?

What is appealing about the essence of the want? What does this give me? How does this support me and take care of me?

3. What do I know about why I don’t want this, or about the resistance?

Specifically, how is the not-wanting understandable and legitimate?

Tiniest first steps?

Or: If I had someone who could help me do this, what would I ask for?

And that’s what I’m trying this week.

You’re more than welcome to stick with the traditional VPA formulation of what you want, ways this could work and what you’re going to play with.

I plan to be back to that next week.

This is what I’m going to be playing with today…

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Let’s see. I wanted to do more with my practice of Ten Wishes, and I’ve been doing it every day. Even got a special red notebook for it. Hooray!

Then I had an ask about cutlery, that was really about my Ludicrous Fear Popcorn around being a grown-up. But I did it! Not only did I process the hell out of it, using the Floop, but I also bought cutlery. A thousand billion trillion sparklepoints for me!

My next ask was about sun, and I learned a lot about that. Also there were spontaneous picnics in the park, which was lovely.

Then I wanted help interacting with the two biggest things that I’ve been avoiding, and I definitely made progress on one of them. The other one is next.

I wanted to ask my curious questions, and I did. Still working on that.

And then I wanted to plan my trip to Vancouver without taking a plane. Lots of help from commenter mice. Then a friend of mine volunteered to help me plan it, which was amazing. And I just now got a Very Unexpected Piece of News about that trip, so it’s kind of all in the air again. So we’ll see!

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
  • You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
  • Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
  • Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
  • VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!


12 Responses to Very Personal Ads #144: and now for something

  1. Kate
    Twitter: CameraKate19

    I am sticking with the traditional VPA format because I basically want the same things I want last week, only in a different way. Because I got what I wanted last week, but now I want more of these things.

    Thing 1

    {Silent Retreat}

    Here’s what I want:

    I want this experience to be amazing.

    Ways this could work:

    Trust. Flow. Ease. Play! Love.

    I’ll play with:

    Conscious entry. Releasing expectations. Sovereignty. Listening to and trusting Slightly Future Me.

    Thing 2

    {Silent Retreat}

    Here’s what I want:

    To receive what I need.

    Ways this could work:

    Harmonious timing. Trust.

    I’ll play with:

    Asking for what I want.

    Writing these VPAs just gave me a lot of clarity. Yay for that! Sparklepoints for me for writing them! And sparklepoints for anyone else who wants them!
    Kate recently posted… Spring Break in New Orleans!

  2. Corie Weaver
    Twitter: coriejweaver

    How is it VPA time again?

    I do like the playing with it format! And now…

    Ten Tiny Things!

    1. To crappy-draft the schedule for the fundraiser day
    2. To survive the week, and the dreaded GALA (yes, really. There’s a dreaded Gala in my life. But not for much longer. And no, this isn’t tiny, but its freaking me out.)
    3. To make a list of one happy noticing a day
    4. To get the van and vouchers to Linzy – hooray for help!
    5. To play on Twitter more!
    6. To ask for help on the CE project!
    7. To arrange costumes to support me through the week!
    8. To hula hoop – and maybe tango!
    9. To crappy-draft outline the ecourse.
    10. To redo the WDG sales page, and talk with K about a non-icky sales person.

    Whee!! I like this!
    Corie Weaver recently posted… Explorer’s Logbook #4: Flowers! And Cowboys! Spring in New Mexico.

  3. Hannah Savannah
    Twitter: Hannah_Savannah

    Ten Wishes! I love it !

    1. light at the end of the tunnel (as my dad said)(i know mostly what it means but also i’ll meditate on it)
    2. more gardening! (like last week) – little clews and little plants are fine!
    3. compassion – for me. and then for others.
    4. clarity. pure, gentle clarity about how i do and how i do not meet. and no discussion about it.
    5. calm – to feel it in my bones. to feel, much more, that this crisis is over.
    6. land of make believe! – playing there
    7. more painting – because it helps me reconnect to the beautiful
    8. dancing – the same
    9. congruence – a word that ripples like a small stone but also it can work for the work i am doing
    10. safety. because it is so necessary

  4. seagirl says:

    Hmm, I didn’t VPA last week but if I had, and I had asked for A Very Happy Birthday!, a terrible hangover, 24 hours of sleeping this weekend, a sleepy cat, a beautiful 24 mile bike ride and the perfect answer to “what to do with sauteed vegetables” (top them with poached eggs!) I would be back to report a rousing success!

    So, for this week I’d like:
    Easy Telephone Call to the Tax Peeps. So grateful for all I receive, so grateful that I am paying more taxes this year. So grateful for the people working their hearts out heading up to this busy time.

    Concentrated energy and focus on each thing: So when I’m working, I’m fully working. When I’m eating, I’m eating. When I’m cleaning, I’m cleaning. When I’m relaxing I’m relaxing. When I’m meditating, I’m meditating.

    Strength to stay away from bread and cheese this week, one day one meal at a time. Making sure to have lots of protein and veggies prepared and in the fridge to eat.

  5. Cat
    Twitter: cat_annatw

    Wishes! I can do a few wishes for myself today! I think 5 is my number.

    1. Balance: find a way to strike balance and comfort into my new intense study schedule, even though it’s so very intense.

    2. Figuring out: whether I want to start seeing my super duper amazing therapist who helped me through a huge year of my life, and if I can give myself the permission to set aside the money I’d need for it.

    3. Care: how to start looking after my body again so I don’t face a relapse into the bed-rest year, even though I’m doing intense studying and sitting

    4. Care again: how to start eating better even though all the hard stuff recently has had me craving bakeries and crunchy salties

    5. Compassion: for my [silent retreat].

    Thanks for the space to share this Havi!

  6. Paula
    Twitter: doodleno1

    Yea! Thank you for the inspiration… my first VPA and its mix and match:

    1. Attuning to the super power of CONNECTION (which shh… is really the most important thing to me.)

    2. Attuning to the super power of DIGNITY (ways this could happen: I could remember to see myself and others with soft eyes.)

    3. Attuning to the super power of SPACIOUSNESS (what I’ll play with: big breaths and slow walking)

    4. Attuning to the super power of FREEDOM (which for me is a train, or perhaps having the choice which train to be on.)

    5. Attuning to the super power of FUN (ways this could happen: Danny Kaye, Samba, Sunshine)

  7. Loon says:

    Hmm… I’m tempted to play with the new format, but I think I might do the ten wishes in my head a bit later. For now I might just go with one, and practice answering the questions too (hello, taking-up-too-much-space monster!). Here we go!

    1. What do I want?
    I want to get my schoolwork done, but I also want there to be a place for all the grief, and some room for being a supportive friend too. What I want is to be able to put these things together like a magic jig-saw puzzle, so I guess what I want are magic jig-saw puzzle solving skills. And spaciousness for all the pieces and roles I’ll play with each.

    2. What do I know about why I want this?
    I want this because not having space for all of these things is causing me a lot of pain. I want a place for the grief because it most often goes neglected until it’s too big, and then spills over into everything else. I guess, having puzzle-pieces also means having clear boundaries around all three things, so that no spilling-over-into or knocking-off-schedule happens.

    3. What do I know about why I don’t want this, or about the resistance?

    I don’t want this because I am afraid the grief will take up too much space – this fear is legitimate because so far I have only experienced overwhelming grief.
    I am afraid that saying ‘no’ sometimes and setting boundaries with friends might be understood as lack of care or concern or love – this is legitimate because of so many years of being taught not to say ‘no’ and having my boundaries forcibly violated even when I did set them.
    I am afraid that putting limits on how much time I spend on school stuff will mean that it doesn’t get done – this is legitimate because it is a logical consequence of the first two.
    I am also afraid that having too rigid a structure will result in a loss of some sort… a loss of openness? and flow and ease? – this fear is about separateness. I think it is related to the fear around boundaries. It, too, is legitimate for the same reasons.

    4. If I had someone who could help me do this, what would I ask for?

    Crafting small, timed rituals. Like maybe have a soft bell go off every hour to keep track of the time and to ground me.
    Playing with endings and limits, like logging off facebook and gmail, instead of minimizing the browser.
    Coming up with a schedule for the day that doesn’t feel too rigid.

    Hmm.. this way of doing VPAs is quite interesting. The questions are really helpful, especially the one that identifies and names resistance. I find that at times my VPAs aren’t really about doing X or having Y, but about a particular thing *about* doing X or Y and stuff around that particular thing. I suppose this is what is at work behind the VPAs. I shall be playing with this some more offline :) I think I might add the resistance question to my regular weekly VPA too.

    Love to all VPAers and lurkers <3

  8. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Hello, superpowers. Calling especially on the powers to

    1. swallow rivers (whisper: to speed meds through my bloodstream)

    2. command vehicles (whisper: for smooth travel to, from, and around various things, especially a conference)

    3. stop missiles in mid-air (whisper: until I’m ready for them)

    4. bring far-flung-apart items together (whisper: by completing pieces for G1 and G2)

    5. free trapped demons (whisper: thrashy toxins under my teeth = owwwww)

    6. create feasts (with what I have, sans fuss)

    7. create ease (with what I know or can find out, sans fuss or stress)

    8. wield brushes (I’d like to polish my toenails without the lacquer splooging all over creation…)

    9. tea-leaf literacy (which visions to trust)

    10. breathing through smoke (there being fires to put out)

    11. inhabit a routine that provides safety/space/stage for a willing and preternaturally able sidekick (think Barrington. think Bunter…).

    Sending everyone good wishes and high hopes for a wonderful week.
    Mechaieh recently posted… from Steve Martin’s PICASSO AT THE LAPIN AGILE

  9. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    Oooo! Ten wishes. I am intrigued, and so:

    1. Letter writing (sending out my very first Postcard from Ardis)

    2. Exploration and adventure in London tomorrow

    3. Playing in the flames (meditating with Queen Brigid)

    4. Creating the invitation (so people can come in)

    5. Meeting markers (slinky support)

    6. Exploring doorways (self-portraiture)

    7. Movement! (of moneys, of my body)

    8. Allowing more turquoise in (alignment)

    9. Clearing the books (making space!)

    10. Blossoming

    Jane recently posted… Why focus is my magic wand

  10. Leni says:

    I like this.

    1. more progress on book (work + time)
    2. Treehouse time every week (play!)
    3. more yoga and Flailing
    4. more sleep
    5. proper containment for Scary Project, because for real it’s starting to leak all over. this includes seeting better boundaries with the WP
    6. more painting
    7. more sitting, thinking, pondering
    8. I have a bunch a puzzle pieces that are not connecting yet. i know i’m not seeing the conenctions
    9. engagement and better chocies (sobriety)
    10.more play

    There’s more joy in the hosue, and there was far les yelling andmore letting go. The Elegant leadership ask and More Joy in thehouse ask, seem to be leading to a common root.

    More Joy and Deeper Morning Practice seem to be linked as well. There’s a piece in here about Will that juist makes me tired. See: sobriety.

    You know, even the list of ten wishes is pretty rpactical and lacks adventure. I’m not doing things in a Grand fashion, althop I want to, and despite lopts of promptings and desire and even astrologival omens and support, I’m just not dipping into the pools of fantasy and play imagination that I used to have access to. Not ready to make this request but I can feel it starting to gel.

  11. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Since you’re playing with a different form this week, it feels like a good time for me to play with something that’s been on my mind lately. Here, then, are seven things that I frequently, passionately, achingly gwish for, that I already possess:

    1. A handmade life.
    2. A close and loving relationship with my daughter.
    3. Romantic, intimate, loyal and loving partnership.
    4. Creative outlets.
    5. Work that lights me up.
    6. A beautiful, comfortable home.
    7. People who love me, truly love me, just as I am.

    The fact that I feel such longing for these things that are right there, within my reach, all the time…it’s fascinating. Mysterious. Something, perhaps, to explore.
    Kathleen Avins recently posted… Silk and steel.

  12. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space

    Another of my great teachers defines yoga through seven qualities, and seeing as EVERYTHING IS YOGA I’m going to meditate on these qualities and see where they take me today….

    Dear Universe/Me, this week I would like to explore….

    Play: (ssshhhh it’s really about PRESENCE, experiencing all the good and beautiful and delightful, adding levity to my experience, remembering that everything is okay, really it is.)

    Grounding: (ssshhhh it’s really about COURAGE to stay connected to the support systems in my life, especially the ones that scare me a bit, in particular money and negotiations with [person] to ensure we’re both getting what we need. Life works better with a stringly grounded connection to these support systems).

    Alignment: (ssshhhh it’s really about SOVEREIGNTY. Remaining gently, calmly, sturdily within my sovereignty to ensure the clearest and most efficient lines of energy in how I do what I do).

    Breathing: (ssshhhh it’s really about HUMILITY/INFINITY. ‘Why me?’ asks ego, ‘Why not?’ asks the humble soul. Ha-saa.

    Movement: (ssshhhh it’s really about ACTION even if it’s teeny tiny steps towards (or around) where I want to go. Also: BODY, get into it girly!!).

    Resistance: (ssshhhh it’s really about FORCEFIELDS which is really about SAFETY. Alignment will be key here.)

    Surrender: (ssshhhh it’s really about JOY. Joy like Brene Brown defines i:, not happy-joy which is the opposite of sadness, but [this-quality] of joy which is the opposite of fear. ‘Grace’ maybe. Shanti. That quality. To seek it, no, to ALLOW it. Yes, that. The Practice!!)

    Om babies!!! Xxxxx

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