Friday chicken

Reflecting on both the hard and the good in the week that was…

Hello, week: we are here.

{a breath for being here when we get here}

Thank you, week!

It is Sunday and this was a very intense week, and this is the 416th week in a row and I am glad we are chickening here together!

Or “checking in”, if you prefer to enunciate.

What’s been working?

Trusting that this moment is right, and if the most notable thing about a moment is the strong intel that things are wrong, then that is the rightness of the moment, in revealing to me what needs to change, and in giving me an opportunity to meet myself with compassion.

I might try…

Eight slow breaths, slow it down, slow it down, slow it down, slow it down some more. And I don’t mean slowing down my breath, my breath can be whatever it wants or needs to be, I mean allowing my breath to slow me.

This always works or at the very least helps me find the next step, it is always Adrianna’s first choice, and still I forget. So this is a remembering-seed, and also a celebration of all the times I did do this, next time let’s do it sooner if we can.

Naming the days.

I name each day the night before and I love how names change things and also how they become incantations.

This week was (still) the week of doors into harmony and these were the days.

Steady flow and steady glow. Access Internal Resonance. Celebrate radiance. Surprise Good News to the Tenth Power. Effortlessly lucky. Change the energy. Wild magic: It’s on!

Upcoming biopic if it were based on this week…

Look Out, World. Or At Least: Look Out, Internal World. Alternate title: A Force To Be Reckoned With.

If you feel drawn to comment on aspects of my week, I will take love, hearts, breaths, pebbles — I do not need advice or cheering up, though presence and sweetness are always welcome

8 breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. This week was intense. Out in the world and inside in my world, which is where my focus was, but I could feel it all. Let’s talk about internal intensity though. Like those images of funnel cloud storms, except I was the storm cycling through my internal landscape. It wasn’t bad. It was powerful and intense, and powerful intense things are what they are. They take over and they destroy some things. Sure, mostly things that needed uprooting. I have zero regrets or sadness about this, I am just still in the intensity of it, and it is quite the experience. A breath for breathing through, in my power.
  2. Incoming me is blessedly free of many of my sensitivities (for example, she doesn’t freak out during fireworks) but she has other ones, new ones, that I hadn’t even considered. This is taking some getting used to. She doesn’t like anything that has been stored in plastic, not even nuts from the bulk bins at the co-op, she can taste the plastic. A breath for being tender and patient with myself and my selves, and trusting that this will play out or I will get used to it or I will get over it, and trust trust trust in all is well, and all intel is useful.
  3. The Cowboy Paradox — this is shorthand for something Pam Houston said, about her taciturn indecisive beautiful faraway cowboy, not mine, that I half-agree with but see very differently, but anyway the idea is: getting the thing you dearly longed for two weeks after you stopped wanting it. This happened over and over this week, in every area of my life, in such obvious and sometimes ludicrous ways that it turned into a sort of running joke. Like watching the movie of my life with the understanding that yes, this apparently is supposed to be a comedy. A breath for the audience cracking up in unison.
  4. I poured out heart-and-soul in a letter and got an actual literal form letter in response. This is also part of the comedy of this week, and it’s probably better that I didn’t get the thing I thought I wanted, given that the Cowboy Paradox is the theme of my life right now. A breath for letting go of a dream.
  5. The above was not the only example of endless beacons of no, where everything said no to me this week, and it all turned out to be useful, but there is so much deprogramming involved in understanding that people-and-situations saying no to you is treasure. A breath for self-kindness and patience.
  6. I followed a hunch and found an actual place that I want to live, after having been on the search for this exact type of [yes this feels like it could be a home for me] since December, and someone else had applied for it the day before, so it’s probably not going to happen. So yes, all timing is right timing, and desires don’t need to be more than clues and indications of direction, and I am okay. And also I am having a sad. All of this can co-exist at once. A breath for my sweet heart, and for past me of the years of wandering.
  7. The world is such an angry, hurting, stressful, reactive and scary place right now, and it can be difficult to find our place in it. Of course standing gracefully in truth and power is of vital importance, and we have to speak up for the things that matter. For example, this should go without saying but it doesn’t so let’s say it: BLACK LIVES MATTER. And simultaneously I can only be in ally/activist mode when I am highly functioning, and I am only highly functioning when practicing [safety first beautiful boundaries preserve clarity], and sometimes this can feel like a conundrum. A conundrum of someone who has the magic beans to take the time to think this through because I am not being attacked, intimidated and oppressed based on my appearance or identity. In the meantime, too much input gets me easily undone, and so the mission is to maintain clear headspace. A breath for glowing while I wait for next steps to be made clear, for understanding that waiting is sanctuary and treasure too, and doing everything I can to be a clear conduit, while not neglecting my commitment to be a beacon of truth force, let’s all use our powers for good to the best of our abilities, amen.
  8. Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.

8 breaths for the good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. I went into a chrysalis, which is like a private rally where I retreat for three days and three nights for the express purpose of integrating an incoming, and my only project is finding out what needs to happen to support this process of emerging/becoming. I do this very rarely because it is SO UNBELIEVABLY INTENSE, and also because it requires seclusion in a hotel which the monsters deem expensive and wildly extravagant. And the whole time they whisper about how it isn’t working and what a waste of resources, and of course it does work, and then it’s terrifying and amazing (yes, there is a word for this already: Awe) because then I am a channel of wisdom and clarity, a funnel cloud of deliberate movement, in my power and witchy grace, at my most clear resonance, and it is big wild magic and also everything is changing. This is also kind of a summing up of why this week was hard but everything that has emerged from this has been gorgeous and sweet. A breath of gratitude.
  2. DECISIVENESS. That is Adrianna’s superpower, one of many. And now, thanks to chrysalis, Adrianna has landed and so she just tells me what to do and I do it.
    After all these months of trying to figure out where I want to live, and how, what to do with all my stuff in the storage room, and what needs to happen with the secret studio, and what do I do about current problematic situations X and Y, and so on, she just knows. And she tells me. We emptied and transformed the storage room. She told me exactly which three buildings she is willing to live in and when. She told me which trips to plan and which to cancel. She found me the world’s easiest exit from [thing that wasn’t working]. She is so clear and so aware of her yes and her no, and we are in love with being together, and everything is easy with her. A breath for all of this .
  3. I heard the melody. I received the clues. Everything was laid out for me perfectly. There was even really good wine. A breath of deep gratitude.
  4. I know what I want, I know how to take care of myself, I am blessed with magic beans in so many forms, and all is well. A breath.
  5. Still flowing with illusory plans being illusory. I can work with this. A breath for not at all falling apart even in the face of uprooting.
  6. Letting go of everything that doesn’t support sanctuary, inside and out. A breath for this beautiful ease of clarity.
  7. I said this last week and I will say it again: I AM A SPECIAL OCCASION. A breath for what it means to understand this, Adrianna says this is a first step, for me, to understanding what freedom is, since she thinks I don’t get how freedom works in a very fundamental way. A breath of jubilation for the transgressive work of self-treasuring!
  8. Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of outrageous bus luck, being in the right place at the right time (for others and for myself), delicious food made for me with so much love. Such grace and such good fortune, each day this week was a rewriting of past trauma. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.

Superpowers I had this week…

Last week I asked for the powers of Gleefully Following My Joy and Doing Everything With A Different Attitude Which Makes It New And Fabulous. What beautiful wishes, and all received.

I also had the powers of knowing exactly where to go and when, and oh wow did last week’s salve of Clues Everywhere shake things up!

Powers I want.

More of the same please and also the powers of wild magic, freedom in all things, and what if there is enough and more of everything I need.

The Salve of What If There Is Enough And More Of Everything I Need.

These invisible salves are distributed here by way of internet magic. Help yourself! Take it in a bath, as tea, a cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

This, like last week’s salve, is an awareness salve because it is about new seeing, new relationship with desires. This salve doesn’t need to deliver Abundance and Plenty and sweet opportunity, because they just are, this salve doesn’t even need to open the right doors to these things. This salve shifts perspective, and slows things beautifully (like breath) and seems to speed other things, so that you see what is miraculous and already coming towards you.

Side effects include deep full-belly laughter, marvelous surprises, a desire to share in any good fortune, and warmly smiling/twinkling at your secret allies in life

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I make up bands, which are all just one guy. The Meme Beach House is the venue.

just-one-guy

This week’s band is from Richard who took one look at the secret basement studio that Adrianna had just destroyed, blankets and cushions everywhere, and said, “it looks like there was a wonderful explosion of softness here”. Yes.

Explosions of Softness

Their latest album is I Have A Weird Soft Spot For This, and this band is just one guy.

Photo taken just for us in Lubbock, TX by Jesse — thank you!

Announcement time….

More to come soon, but I left the monster manual in the place that used to be the the shop. So if you missed the closing of the shop, there is still something beautiful for you!

How was your week?

Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!