Door of Reflection

Reflecting.

Reflecting is a luscious word, I am so glad that this is the name which asked to come in for this month, and oh good god this breathtaking image, I could reflect on it for days.

I hadn’t realized, until I began exploring Reflection (and reflecting on it!) this week, just how much it holds for me as a word and quality, how much space is there in the light.

And one particular aspect of reflecting that I am learning about is related to the ability to reveal gems — speaking of things that shine in light — in past experience, while maintaining steady clarity, not getting tangled up in the past.

I am not sure how to name this superpower yet, so for now let’s call it looking back without looking back.

For example, I can reflect on the treasure I received from January, and allow the quality of Reflection to amplify it, while also glowing the superpowers that live in a favorite Bob Dylan song, currently on repeat, the anthem of this month, “she’s got everything she needs, she’s an artist, she don’t look back…”

Reflecting on the month of Prowess.

I learned-observed-noticed so many things over the course of January aka the month of Prowess.

Some of these are more specifically related to qualities of Prowess or my relationship with Prowess, some are more general observations, but of course it is all intertwined, because naming the month is a frame.

We called in Prowess, which is such a powerful thing to ask for, and so of course this changes what we notice and how we notice it.

Some observations…

  1. There is so much left for me to learn about presence and grace, about power and standing in mine. About BUFFER PHRASES and BOUNDARIES, and expecting to be respected, and not putting up with unsovereign shit. Like, I seriously just devoted an entire month to studying those things in depth, and the main thing I discovered is that I am barely scratching the surface of what I need to know, that I am only beginning to get a sense of what (and how) I need to glow. More work to be done here.
  2. But yes I am ready to glow more, to be Tough and Wild, Fierce and Fearless, Present and Powerful, fully embodied, a living-out of panther sleekness and panther grace, and, when necessary, striking panther fury.
  3. Man, reading the news is straight up jet fuel for a breakdown. For me. And yet, I am convinced that I cannot afford to not know and to not act. I mean, standing up to incoming totalitarianism asks us to stay aware, to put it mildly. Figuring out the right proportions for me of REVOLUTION, PROTEST AND RESISTANCE, with Taking Exquisite Care of my Highly Sensitive/Witchy/Empathic Self, and making sure my light stays on. Yes to staying Awake and Aware, conscious, alert, present. And: a breakdown from too much distressing input doesn’t support the cause.
  4. I love pistachios with a passion and intensity that is deep and abiding, and I love pistachio ice cream even more, my god, PISTACHIOS, do you know what I mean? And yet I forget this truth so easily, I forget about the very existence of pistachios, sometimes for months at a time. What else is like pistachios? I feel very strongly that this is definitely about pistachios, but also I feel so strongly that I’m pretty sure this also has to be a proxy too.
  5. Nothing is more important for me than keeping up oxytocin, how did I not know that. And during the many days of Snowed In (and other forms of Remain Indoors related to freezing rain, freezing fog, impassable streets etc) in Portland last month, I learned that I absolutely lose my mind when I am not getting regular hugs. This vital piece of intel helped me glow retroactive clarity and compassion towards past-me — ahhh everything she did was a very legitimate response to not getting enough touch to thrive. Right now experiencing something like an achingly painful hug deficiency that I didn’t know about, and wanting so badly to play catch-up, except I am currently in rural Utah surrounded by retired Mormons (EDITED to note that they probably would be happy to hug me if I asked them, but I am not there yet) and I don’t how to go about this, but I will reflect.
  6. I am ready to learn more about Traveling Light.
  7. Prowess supports the Uprising. The rigged game bullshit of daily life does not. Prowess practice is therefore important all the time, in every tiny way possible.
  8. Getting a couple centimeters taller is very good for Prowess. Stretching helps me remember to stand tall and use the ground.

Reflecting superpowers (double meaning).

Today is Groundhog Day, a favorite day, because it comes with all the superpowers of Do-Overs Forever and Everything Twice, and Multiplication of Whatever You Like (I Choose Joy).

I am obsessing over superpowers right now, because I am currently hard at work on a writing project that focuses on them, and it is almost impossible to convey how weirdly magical they are, so much more so than they should be.

Naming is invoking, and invoking is inviting, and inviting is priming yourself to observe, and observation leads to learning, and learning leads to embodying.

But it is somehow more elusive and mystical and indescribable than that.

Anyway, superpowers, and naming them! They get me out of bed in the morning, and sometimes they are the only thing that works, for that, or for anything.

Calling on the powers I wish to reflect and reflect on…

Today — and for the month of Reflecting and beyond — I am borrowing three especially marvelous superpowers from a Rally friend:

  • I Can Start and Successfully Complete Even Complicated Projects
  • Magical Space Clearing
  • I Am Not Intimidated by Fear and Shame Monsters

And I am adding to these. No, I am multiplying these with others that come up as important right now:

FORTITUDE IS MY GAME, FIERCE AND FEARLESS, I STAND IN MY POWERS. I REFLECT LIGHT.

Yes, time to let superpowers multiply with each other, and watch as they produce entirely new superpowers that I haven’t even dreamed up yet. Fractal flower multiplication, under the surface.

Fiery Reflections.

My word for this year is FIERY, which actually started out as a joke. I am turning forty next month, which has been making me a little….edgy?

I mean, at noon today I was lolling around in a flimsy leopard-print housecoat, eating ice cream (yes, pistachio ice cream, with extra pistachios in it) for breakfast, in a broken down motorhome parked in an RV park in southern Utah, all of which is proof, according to my monsters that I have achieved peak You Have Disappointed Your Mother And Dashed All Her Hopes And Dreams and Squandered Your Potential You Are Turning Forty And You Have Nothing To Show For It.

But when I call it Turning Fiery instead of turning forty, and send the monsters off to play, then I am ready-ready-ready to be fiery, I am ready for my fiery years, I am ready to embody this wild heat, to be my own light source.

Revolution.

Fiery is an unusual choice for me, I tend to want to invoke calming peaceful things, horizon and perspective, a sky full of stars.

I like to get quieter, listen more, rest and pause until I know what is next. I like water and flow, fluidity and fluency, big sky, open landscapes, long naps. Contemplation and turning inward.

But hey, it’s time for a Revolution, not only out in the world but also in the kingdom of my life, and revolution is a word which also means turning, and I am just now understanding that the turning part is actually key element in Operation Turning Fiery.

I am flashing on an image of a blacksmith turning something over a fire. Turning is becoming, and turning is roundness, and turning is process.

Turning and burning. Let’s light it up.

What do I know about Fiery.

It holds so many marvelous qualities, so many categories of qualities.

Fiery is related to Prowess and being in my power: Fierce & Fearless, Passionate Intensity, Wild Aliveness, Powerful Presence.

There is also the Fiery of the revolution: the Resistance is fueled by this, we are fired up, ready to take to the streets and the airports, to bear witness.

There is my Fiery troublemaker alter-ego who loves adventure and celebrates her independence, off on her motorcycle, working on her pole-dancing tricks. She treasures herself. She is unapologetically sexy. She glows for miles and leaves a trail of sparks in her wake.

Also Fiery like concentrated shiva power: create and destroy, create and destroy, the fires of Reinvention and Intention and Undoing.

There is Fiery like Ignited, the fire of Focused Determination and Going After It, with Clarity and Excitement, Following the Creative Sparks, fired up like the way I feel about my projects at Rally when they are so excited to play with me.

And there is fiery as in tending to my own flames, being in sensual sleek wild desire states. My panther self.

There is the fiery of clarity about letting go, and the fires of adventure, there are the fires of hearth and home and being at home in myself, a fire of where I belong.

Fiery and Reflection

At first I thought maybe Fiery might not fit well with this month, a funny word to come in so powerfully at the door of the month of Reflection, because reflecting is, for me, a quality that invites quiet contemplation.

But fire is also very meditative, it draws you in to its patterns.

And reflecting is also about light, there is beautiful play of light and shadow when you come towards the flames, and yes, whatever I need to see will be reflected in the light.

I can reflect whatever I want, and right now what I want to reflect, embody and glow is the flame-spark of the revolution, both in the more quiet and steady sense of my desire to provide sustainable tools for the resistance, but also yes, I am ready to carry a torch and I am ready to burn shit down, I am ready to rise up and make noise and be a part of this powerful movement towards light.

Let’s move towards light, let’s reflect truth, let’s be a force to be reckoned with.

And let’s also rest up and gather strength, tend to the fires that need tending, make sure we never come close to burning out.

Reflecting on reflecting on Reflecting.

What are my wishes for this month of Reflecting and beyond? What can I learn here?

I want to stay commmitted to Prowess, and to space, being selective about my view, what I let in, what I choose as my surroundings, how I interact with perspective.

Incoming me is a passionate believer in tabula rasa and in many different forms of emptying out, that is a clue too.

I want the superpowers of Standing Tall, I want an outrageous abundance of available hugs (and other forms of sweetness and connection), and to trust that I have the right tools for the job.

I want to trust that self-fluency is FUELING THE RESISTANCE, and to take strong powerful striding striking steps in that direction. I want calm, steady conviction and easy clarity.

I want to observe myself with great love. And I want to call in all the superpowers I need and watch them multiply in the light of my flame.

And I want to feel ready to be Fiery, ready to be Her Fieriness, Her Sleekness, Her Wildness, ready to light it up.

May it all be so, or something even better, amen.

Postscript!

I still haven’t updated the shop which means you still have a chance to get some or all of the amazing ebooks from the new year sale in the gift shop though not for long. I especially recommend the Illumination of Qualities if you want to work on Prowess and force-field strengthening — I find that reading the beautiful words and qualities helps me connect with them and remember them throughout my day. Glowing love and appreciation your way, thank you for being a part of this with me in whatever way you can.

Invitation: come play with me…

You are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,

Or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading…

You can also share how things have been going, check in, or deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, possibly in code.

Safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishes and checking-in are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing.

We remember that people vary and my process doesn’t have to be yours, and this is a good thing.

Here’s how we meet each other: with great kindness and appreciation and awe, whispering (and sometimes shouting) oh, wow what beautiful wishes!