This month I’m combining my two obsessions: exit and entry, because that’s what feels right this time around.
So let’s mark the passage out of September and into October, and find out how they want to be bridged.
In fact, what if we started with the bridge?
I’m going to do that.
What is taking me from September and into October?
Or: What am I taking with me from passage to passage?
Let’s see. Definitely the four qualities that showed up at the beach:
Simplicity. Presence. Pleasure. Space.
These seem important.
Also the idea for a daily Wishing Hour (not necessarily an hour) that travels around in my day. So it’s a ritual that isn’t attached to a particular time but is something I look forward to. I’m experimenting with that.
And everything I have learned about flow (a lot!) and play (which I thought I knew about but get this, there’s so much more).
What worked in September?
What do I want to keep from my September adventures? And by adventures I mean: being alive and experiencing stuff and paying attention.
- Following desire and inclination.
- Working fewer hours but getting way more done because of smart creative containers for working, and because of working in partnership.
- Tiny skype dates with Marisa and my playmate.
- Being outside.
- Allowing for change. What I want can change! From minute to minute, if need be. My job is just to pay attention.
- Appreciation. Stopping to appreciate things I don’t normally pay attention to.
- Huge progress on Stompopolis systems challenges: doing shiva nata and talking it out with people out loud.
- Trusting deeper. Relaxing more.
What do I want to try differently in October?
Earlier to bed please!
More sleep, in general.
Now, not later. Except when later. Because sometimes: later.
Asking the question. Is this indicated? What about now?
Scheduling fewer things. Plan for less. And then less than that. I’ve been serially overbooking for a lifetime, and each time I think I’ve pared down, it turns out I’m still overestimating capacity. Remove remove remove.
Not putting off things that come from a strong and intent inclination. For example, last week I was craving orange juice all week. But I didn’t make it a priority and it didn’t happen. This week I have a cold. Next time I just want to trust the body-feeling. Orange juice? That’s what I need? Let’s make it happen NOW.
What do I want to remember for October?
Two big things.
1) You guys! I had the most astonishing realization the other day.
LAST October I had three impossible crazy wishes. Wishes so crazy that I barely dared to think them, never mind to say them out loud. Which I didn’t.
But get this. All three of them are here. They all happened. Even the one that really, really, really couldn’t have happened.
I want to remember this. My impossible wishes are not impossible. It is okay to want things and not know how they are going to happen.
2) And I want to be easier on myself.
I work two full-time jobs (running this company that is the online business and being the director of Stompopolis and the Playground). I have way less help than I need.
And I also have the additional full-time job of taking care of myself and staying healthy and working on my stuff.
So maybe I can stop giving myself crap about all the things I’m not doing or not getting around to or not doing yet. That’s monster-talk, and I can investigate it. But I don’t have to believe it.
I’d like to stop apologizing for not doing more of what I’d like (playing here with you guys on the blog, for example), and trust that THIS TOO is part of flow.
All of it is part of flow. The perception of not having time, the resentment about doing or not doing, the wondering when I will be able to get back to X or do more Y. This is all part of flow.
It is okay that I haven’t figured it all out. All I have to do is say: okay, this is part of flow. How can I take care of myself?
What does slightly-slightly future me want me to know?
If there is a version of me who is just the slightest bit wiser in these things, one or two steps ahead of me, what would she want to tell me?
“You really and truly are doing the best you can with the tools you have.
“You can’t get this wrong. Even though you think that you are constantly getting it wrong. You’re just collecting information for a bigger experiment.
“Guess what? You are making all the right choices. Commit to your body, commit to rest, commit to play, commit to desire, commit to wonder, commit to flow.
“Everything else comes from that. The right people to help you, the right people to play with, the right timing. It comes from you committing to giving yourself what you need.
“You are going to look back at this month, at this entire year, and say that everything happened as it needed to. Not in a wry, bitter, “oh boy, we learned some useful life lessons, didn’t we?” kind of way. In a joyful, happy, appreciative way.
“You can’t even see how perfect this is. But seriously, you’re in the right place at the right time for the mission. And I’m here to help. So talk to me.”
Okay. That was interesting. Thanks, slightly-future-me.
What would I like to experience in October?
Passages and crossings.
For my Crossing the Line retreat to be as amazing as last year’s, which I am positive it will be.
Simplicity, presence, pleasure and space. Again! And in a variety of ways. I would like to see them everywhere.
Closing a circle.
Doing zombie thriller for Thrill The World, which is my favorite thing ever.
Progress on my new relationship with Fridays.
Joy, laughter, hilarity, silliness and play.
Delight in plenty.
I want to be here now.
Goodbye, September. Thank you for everything. Goodbye everything that is done. Thank you for being done. Mmhmm.
Hello, October. Thank you for being here.
Hello, me who is ambivalent and me who is excited. Me who is appreciative and me who can’t remember how to be appreciative. We’re all a part of this. We all get to passage through and cross over.
Play with me?
This practice is so different from month to month. I go with whatever comes. And this is what showed up this time.
For other variations, peek at: last July / August / September / October / November / December / January / February / March / April / May. A love letter to June. This year’s July and August and September.
You are welcome to write your notes on entry into October, if you like. Or drop off some wishes and gwishes. Or leave flowers.
As always, we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
Wishing you the most just-right October possible. May it be full of unexpectedly good things. And love. All the love.