What's in the gallery?

We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.

 

inventory

very personal ads

I write a Very Personal Ad (or a vision of possibility & anticipation) each week to practice wanting, listening, getting clear on my desires

the point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), it’s learning about my relationship with wanting, accessing the qualities

wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…

this is the 372nd week of wishing, come play!

inventory

my theme right now is inventory
in both literal and theoretical ways

what do I want in my space
what do I know about what’s in my space
what do I want to invite in or ask to leave
aka which doors need to open or close or disappear

this is a very immediate wish

I bought a one-way ticket to Boise, Idaho
leaving in a week
with not much of a plan other than to
a) not be here
b) not stay there

I have been promised hot springs
there may be a road trip to Kentucky
adventures will be adventured:
operation wild freedom under the stars

so I need to know what I have
to know what I might bring

this wish is external/internal

because I need to
provision myself for every possible kind of weather,
— ha, yes, weather could be external and internal too —
being very selective in my choices;
it all has to come with me on a plane

but there’s also the question of
what do I have — and want to have
in my mental/emotional/energy space
what circulates within me
what is the environment of my relationships
what is the environment of my thoughts

and again: that question about what needs to exit
can I show it the door

meaning

so, in that sense, this is a very conceptual wish
in addition to the part about
oh shit how do I pack for three months or more on the road
when I don’t know where I’m going
in every possible meaning of that
and I don’t even know what I have
because my stuff has been in boxes since january

what else about inventory

turning forty this year is a form of taking inventory
looking at my business legacy and what I want to leave
this is inventory

the question of [what is the water I swim in]
what do I surround myself with
not just in terms of objects and people
but ideas, concepts,
what is my normal
what is my edge

what is here

I want to always know exactly what I have
so I can want what I have
(more than want even, can I appreciate-celebrate what I have)
and let go of all the not-yeses

clear eyes clear heart
taking stock:
really, what is here
and do I even want it

I am talking about my belongings,
aka the contents of my basement room of boxes, but really I mean
all the symbolic, metaphorical and energy reverberations of these questions

what else?

time for newness in all things
I can feel this

what else?

I want to live on a houseboat
this is a proxy but also not a proxy
maybe this is related to the dream of the round house
which still calls to me

I want to find, meet, or reveal my just-right door
and build my home around that door
which only I can see

I want my space to glow and be invisible
refracting light like rainbows off a prism
there are no doors for people to knock at
because I do not have any

and maybe I have wished this before in another form

what do I know about my wishes?

I am ready for this mission of [Inventory]
before was not the time, even yesterday was not the time,
because now is the time
and trusting this was right

may it be so!

the superpower of deep listening

months-August-VPA-2016

August is MUSE, with the superpower of Deep Listening, and I just walked past a bar called Muse, oh it has been so good for me to listen deeply, now I hear something like footsteps, it must be the month of INTENTION coming to meet me…

thank you, past-me, for being such a good namer and calling this into being

last week’s wishes

last-week-me wished a wish called what do I want to circulate
and this wish is a continuation of that
a new examining of what is in my space

thank you, me who wished

invitation: come play with me…

you are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading, including any stories you wish to let go of, any adventures you wish to welcome

deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code

safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving

wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing

here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes

20 Responses to inventory

  1. Sue T says:

    Inventory is deeply resonant to me right now.
    Thank you for this stone skipping idea, Havi!!!

    Also, wishing you all the Superpowers you wish or need related to finding, packing, discerning, and diving into adventures!!
    The stars above Idaho are waiting for you!

  2. That Neil Guy says:

    Have fun. And maybe have a donut (or two).

    And if you make it to northwest South Carolina (or southwest North Carolina – Asheville might be a great fit for you) please let me know. I’d love to buy you a cup of coffee and just listen to your silence for a few minutes.

  3. seagirl says:

    What beautiful wishes! (one way ticket to Boise sounds like a song from that band, the one that is just one guy.)

    Last wish I wanted was relief from a certain state of being. That relief arrived. Not from saying the thing I thought needed to be said, but by leaving town and lying on the ground underneath all of the stars and the Milky Way and realizing that the ground is real and true and little else is. Also, what if I was lying on the ground but really the world was upside down and I was supporting it all on my back, just for a little bit?

    This week I want more real, true things and fewer fake things. More solid ground against my back, fewer cardboard cut outs of people. More people who are light and free and fun, fewer who are asking me for gossip, or in their stuff and trying to come along with me to my treasured places, or simply not real friends.

    Because I realized that pretend connections are so much more painful than no connections, and that the Fear of Missing Out dissipates when you think harder about what you are really missing out on. Because a real person/place/thing would never make you miss out, they would always make sure you were included and you would feel secure in that.

    And I want more clients. More lovely clients like the one I had today.

  4. Pqw-orange
    Twitter: fiadhiglas
    says:

    I am leaving for a deeply loved place in 12 days. Spouse has been fussing about what to pack, what he doesn’t have & therefore needs to buy, what he’s going to want to do.

    I have been… coaxing my internal weather patterns to open up to possibility. I need (new) turbulence to alight.
    Pqw-orange recently posted… Reading List 9a of 2016 ~ Poetry edition

  5. Ravenstar says:

    What beautiful wishes.

    For the last couple of days my theme has been Alignment, and after boring myself silly with tv this evening, I found myself standing in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water, and asking, “What do I want? What do I want?” A form of inventory.

    I have gone through a massive change and come out the other side, and in the new landscape of this reconfigured life, this new level of the video game, what else do I want to configure? What Qualities am I Aligning myself with? Consciously and [less consciously], and can we breathe some love and light into the [less conscious] parts?

    Reading seagirl’s starlit epiphany of “the ground is real and true and little else is” (thank you, seagirl), I had one of those full body frissons of emotion – a wave of sorrow and gratitude and joy, all mixed up, a profound recognition of this precious and temporary gift that is Being Alive. I’m not clear yet on what I want, but it has something to do with the ground, and the stars. And that is enough of a clue, for tonight.

    <3

  6. Rosie Braeburn says:

    what beautiful wishes. a breath for everyone’s wishes.

    I am soon embarking on a month-long journey of sorts. Monsters are in uproar. There’s no room for them on the ship. The voyage is challenging. The weather is always bad around The Horn. I am wishing for smooth sailing, calm waters, and to safely reach the destination.

  7. Kate says:

    I want to always know exactly what I have
    so I can want what I have
    (more than want even, can I appreciate-celebrate what I have)
    and let go of all the not-yeses

    this has been one of
    the most DELIGHTFUL things
    about my years-long decluttering
    & unburdening myself
    of most of what i used to have

    (though it has also been very useful
    for surviving the several
    oh-shit-i-have-to-move-across-the-country-NOW
    (i can’t recommend this as a life choice
    but you do wind up with a LOT LESS STUFF)
    )

    but also i know exactly what i have
    every single thing that i own is familiar
    is known to me
    has been debated & thought about
    every once is precious

    (okay, a few are all right,
    they will do the job until the YES comes along
    but in the meantime i do need shoes)

    every one will have its place,
    its specific & perfect spot
    in this home that i am building

    it has even opened up space
    for me to get NEW THINGS
    (this is a new thing for me
    or at least it has been a while)
    mostly these have been scarves
    i’m having a scarf sort of year

    (there’s still that one thing,
    the sort of foot-with-threaded-rod
    that goes on the bottom of wire shelves
    but i don’t have those wire shelves
    i cannot think what it belongs to
    but i know it’s mine
    it is, for now, a mystery)
    Kate recently posted… 07/14 — sandia mountains (twice)

  8. Kathleen Jowitt
    Twitter: KathleenJowitt
    says:

    What do I want?

    Balance
    Rest
    Peace
    Replenishing
    Love
    Cool water
    Grounding
    Quietness

    (love to all and to all wishes)
    Kathleen Jowitt recently posted… 100 untimed books: friends are so cute

  9. Martin says:

    Missing you on Twitter but yr not missing anything on Twitter : )

  10. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat
    says:

    My wishes from last week were answered in the form of kindness from an unanticipated direction. It helps, on many levels, and I am very thankful.

    Here. Now. What do I want?

    I want this hot, tight tension that I am currently feeling to flow away, to ease and release. I want to remember my toolbox, and to use it like the master crafter that I am. I want to come home to myself, where I can stay up late with a mug of cocoa on the porch and watch the stars.

  11. mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium
    says:

    !!!

    Less crud
    Less crap

    More bubbly
    More benevolent badassery

    Warm wishes to all y’all.
    mechaieh recently posted… I am a breeze in the still August air

  12. Leni says:

    September is a great month for Inventory. Early August, when the temperature cools off a bit and back2skool is in full swing, this fever of ORGANIZE ALL THINGS comes on me, and just cannot sit with dysfunction, it makes me crazy.

    I’m still in process with this but I have inventoried the following:
    -I have too many clothes. I am taking on more costumes, which I need for Operation Bianca, but seriously I could stand to purge a bunch
    -I have lots of art and craft supplies, but am not making time to use them
    -as much as I clean and tidy the rest of the house, I cannot seem to make it to my desk. this represents lots of failures of the will
    -now that its Mercury retro, I am battling the feeling that all is useless and not to even try to make things better. Altho my emotional resources have been restored lately, today I feel depleted and raw.
    -but it’s also the New Moon so I want to get started on capers. Altho I feel depleted, I still feel like I want to move forward.
    -my internal skills and tools are in good repair, but there is something dawning, and it’s hard to acknowledge but I’m unable to not see it. trying to be kind and tolerant, but no, I also see gaslighting, minimizing and a desire to hurt me coupled with too much cowardice to come right out with it.

    In general, I am perfectlyn ahppy as long as I do not pause too long to listen to my partner in life, and just do what makes me happy.

  13. SarahStar says:

    Ah, Wonderful Havi!! Wonderful stone-skipping sparky sparkiness!
    I haven’t been here for a while, for many/varied reasons. Today I finally get here, and what do I find? – The Very Thing I most needed to read of course! Earlier today I spoke to my brother about working with the quality of Choosing Not To Carry Stuff Around, like for eg, annoyance at people I love really but who can be very annoying. And then BAM! – you say, What do I surround myself with? What do I have and want to have? Yes, yes and YES INDEED! Thank you thank you so much. I see this goes much deeper than I first realised! I’ve been getting a bit depressed about the actual stuff in my tiny house, too, wishing I could find space for it all, but actually the real issue is – I DON’T WANT all this stuff!

    And then I read a bit more and then you mention HOUSEBOATS, and I have had some serious CLEWS and a very powerful dream about houseboats recently…

    much <3 <3 <3 to you & all the Wishers… x

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