Oh, January. You are my hard month.
And I have been avoiding welcoming you.
But here we are, me and January.
I’m saying hello.
Reorienting myself to your door-ness, re-establishing my sense of suchness, reconfiguring my wants, and re-ordering my relationship with you. Let’s do this.
What I want from this experience of January.
I want us to have a new relationship, January.
I want to release all the expectations and all the rules about how we have to be with each other.
To release pain and grief from Januaries past.
To recognize and remember that you are not them. And now is not then.
The qualities of my new relationship with January.
The same sixteen:
Spaciousness and Sovereignty.
Presence and Possibility.
Radiance and Receptivity.
Effortlessness and Efficiency.
Adaptability and Agility.
Desire and Deconstruction.
Boldness and Beauty.
Congruence and Creativity.
Also, did you notice that each pairing has a yin and a yang side, or a ha and a tha side, if I may revert to my natural language of yoga?
And they can switch sides, if and when they need to…
Another thing. The gentleman said the other day that my super-duper power (which, apparently, is like a superpower but even better) is SYNTHESIS.
I hadn’t thought of that but it feels true in my belly, in my hands and in my feet. So I’ll take some of that too.
What I need from this January.
From January and towards January.
To let go of all the things I think I am responsible for, but am not actually responsible for.
To shed and to replenish.
To fill up on what I know.
To find the new things now that the old ones are no longer working.
To make peace with my secret room.
What I am planting for this January.
What I look forward to in this January.
Finally-finally-finally the start of roller derby season! GNR is going to do so much damage at the season opener that it’s just ridiculous. And I’ve been working with the team — lots of Shiva Nata, agility training and strengthening force fields.
And of course, Rally (Rally!). It’s going to be amazing.
Mostly I’m not looking forward though. I’m looking inward. I’m hibernating. And that isn’t so much about excitement and yaying as it is about stretching, yawning, whimpering, crying and releasing, but that is what is needed right now.
For my body this January.
It’s hard to say because right now I am so very tired.
But: I will keep taking the Bruce Wayne strengthening elixir.
And doing my marathon trainings (shhh, they’re relaxing!).
And going to dance class. And flailing the flail.
Hot baths. Warm tea. Walks when I can walk. Sleeps when I need sleeps.
Slightly future me says:
You’re doing all the right things. Keep doing them.
Stay away from unsovereign situations. Stay away from other people’s expectations, real or perceived. Make a cocoon for this growth period.
And use your costumes.
What January could be like.
It could be a nest.
It could be new.
It could hold me.
It could be a reminder of all the things that have changed since last January.
It could be space to rewrite old perceptions.
It could be comforting.
It could be kind. You think it can’t, but it can. That last sentence was slightly future me again!
I am throwing all of this into the pot.
Play with me? And comment zen for today.
You are welcome to write your own Hello, January.
Or drop off some gwishes.
Or write January a letter. Or give it a new name.
We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We take responsibility for our stuff. Because without sovereignty and spaciousness, this whole thing falls apart.
And we make this a safe space by not telling each other what to do, how to be or how to feel. We make room for each other.
That is all. Much love and happy January.