Ah, it’s that time again.
I’m not sure. Probably lots of things!
Also I am going to be five years old today.
November, these parts were hard for me this year!
- Traveling is hard on my body.
- I don’t recover as fast as I used to.
- Kansas ********** City. Seriously, what rock were they hiding under all season?
- It turns out that Denver and I do not get along as much as I’d hoped, because I like oxygen so much, and not having it in what are harmonious quantities for me was both challenging and distressing.
- Cardio withdrawal because of the above, which resulted in severe grumpiness.
- I want a holiday so badly I can taste it. A proper holiday, with no work at all.
- Too many things happening!
- Building next door and downstairs neighbors to the Playground being problematic.
- Having to tell people things they don’t want to hear.
- Anxiety about having conversations in which I tell people things they don’t want to hear. A lot of having to remember that now is not then.
- People I love were in freakout mode, and it was painful to watch.
- I am doing things that scare me!
November, these were my favorite parts about you!
- Wearing my new coat, and being warm and cozy.
- Ohmygod, Rally (Rally!). Rally was amazing.
Next one is in January — it’s pretty close to full!
- And not just any Rally but the Great Ducking Out.
- Speaking of which, I had twenty-seven billion epiphanies, and now everything is better.
- I also taught that workshop in Boulder, and it was beautiful. Hi, guys!
- Being at roller derby Championships was a very special and much dreamed-of thing. Plus I got to hang out with Juno and Donow.
- The Hoppy House pickles that the gentleman made from the cucumbers in the garden. Ecstatic exclamations of pickle joy!
- Also the gentleman has a beard now, and somehow this has not triggered trauma stuff for me.
- Rituals and proxies. I listened to Werner every night. I hung out with J each morning. There were daily secretive reflectings (with scissors!), and daily mini marathon trainings (with eye pillows!). We played in secret agent code, and it was awesome.
- My #1 partner-in-crime and I have been up to deliriously outrageous things, and we spent hours on the phone giggling like teenage girlfriends.
- You guys! Shivanauticon! It is happening. We even found the Flairground.
- I got a REALLY good piece of news that I am happy about.
November, here is what I want to say to you.
Thank you for being a home for the things I needed to do.
Thank you for structures and forms that were comforting.
Thank you for reminding me about what doesn’t work.
Thank you for letting me play with you instead of my usual way of fighting you or trying to make you be something else.
And for showing me what needs to go into the Almanac (yes, the Book of Me) for next year. I will see you in twelve months!
But I will be a newer version of me, and you will be a newer version of you, and we will have a new relationship. And it will be beautiful.
December, I am looking forward to these things about you!
- I am teaching TWO workshops for the roller derby team that I sponsor.
- And other than that, I am — gasp! — not teaching anything. At all. Crazy, yes? I know!
- Cairene is coming to the Playground to do a cool project with me that involves helping me plan my year. All I know is that it involves glue sticks. Yay!
- My partner-in-crime is coming to visit and she is staying at Hoppy House and we are going on adventures.
- Hannukah. Candles and yum.
- Cutting up all the catalogs and using them for fun Playground projects.
- Brunching fun things for 2012.
- Dreaming up cool things for Shivanauticon!
- Hot baths. Flannel sheets. Warm soup. Potato kugel!
- Endings. More doors. Conscious exit.
- Saying hello to all the new things that are coming.
December, this is what I want to experience with you.
- Grilled cheese!
- Holding Enthusiastics.
- Doing something with the Daily Chicken (it doesn’t exist yet) and also giving it a new name.
- Knowing what I know and wanting what I want.
- Orange. Lots and lots of orange.
- Secret treasures and marvelous surprises.
Planting December’s gwishes.
A gwish is somewhere between a goal and a wish, and I have so many of them, but — just like last month — I am going to whisper-plant them in my journal instead of putting them here.
If you would like to whisper with me or whisper loving wishes for my dreams, that would be good.
Come play with me! Comments in the giant collective blanket fort.
I’m putting this all into the pot with love.
If you would like to throw things into the pot and/or think about your relationship with this past November or this arriving-December, go for it. You can do it here in the comments or silently in your heart. Or wherever and however you like, obviously.
We all have our stuff. We let other people have what’s theirs and take responsibility for what’s ours. And we do this through not giving other people advice or telling them how what to do or how to feel.
Extra wishes for a safe, healthy, delight-filled December with lots of the good kind of surprises.