Yesterday I told you a long and complicated but also awesome story about a perfect simple solution.
And there were other things I wanted to tell you about perfect simple solutions and resolutions but I didn’t get around to any of it.
But really the main thing we should always be talking about is:
How do you set things up so that perfect simple solutions can show up?
* This approach = the stuff we talk about here. And work on indirectly + directly at Rally (Rally!).
So. Getting to perfect simple solutions.
Well, getting to them more easily.
Starting with a number of practices that I find crazy useful. In no particular order.
Try what appeals to you. Adapt as necessary. Discard what isn’t for you.
Twelve things you could try.
1. Ask for them. Regularly.
A regular practice of Very Personal Ads is a great way to get clarity on what you actually want.
(That is to say, what the real desires are that are hiding behind the perceived want).
It’s also a useful way to find out which parts of you are opposed to asking, to receiving support, to things working out. Resistance sucks, but at least you know where it’s coming from and what it has to say.
You’re learning more about your relationship with wanting these solutions, and that’s part of the solution too.
You could also do the asking in the style of Hello, Day. Except it would be Hello, Perfect Simple Solution.
2. Find the essence.
You could try setting aside designated time for examining the qualities and essence of what you want.
For example, I’m currently looking for a perfect simple solution to a semi-challenging something happening in my business.
What do I want from this solution?
Lightness. Relief. Sovereignty. For both sides to feel heard. Appreciation. Simplicity. Sustainability. Trust. Belonging.
So once I know that, I can mess around with bringing more of these qualities into how I want to approach the situation.
3. Ask the magic wand question.
The magic wand question solves all sorts of things, because it tells you what kind of a perfect simple solution you’re receptive to.
If I could wave a magic wand and solve this, would you take it?
Yes-but I would want to know that this person would not resent me.
Yes-but I would want to know that I had expressed myself clearly.
That’s information I can use.
4. A love letter is a helpful thing.
You could write a love letter to the perfect simple solution.
Tell it what you know about it, what you want from it, what you’re working on.
5. More Shiva Nata, of course.
Maybe start with some Flip-its. Get creative.
And make sure you’re messing up! Mistakes = yay!
6. Ask more questions.
Do some stone skipping.
What would bring more simplicity into this solution? What am I not seeing or remembering? If this could happen with more ease, what might that look like?
7. Exit as well as enter.
For example, you might do a Spangly Revue of what is working, as well as what you might try for next time.
Or imagine that you already have the perfect simple solution. What has changed? How are you feeling/thinking/walking/breathing given this new development?
8. Interact with the (totally legitimate) disbelief that a perfect simple solution exists.
Negotiate with the scared parts of you who are in resistance to the idea that perfect simple solutions could be available. Tell them about how Now Is Not Then.
9. Safe rooms!
Try making safe rooms for the parts of you who are still grieving over situations where they were not able to access perfect simple solutions or resolutions.
Acknowledge their pain. Find out how you can comfort them.
10. Talk to the version of you who has already figured this out.
Ask Slightly Future You what he/she knows about resolving this particular challenge.
11. Use a proxy!
If the situation needing a solution is complicated or painful, it might be helpful to invent a proxy to stand-in for the real thing that needs resolving.
12. Art of the OOD.
Use the OOD.
Make the perfect simple solution your Object of Desire.
Then solve for X.
As always, the important thing is not the techniques.
It’s about the approach.
People vary. What works for one person might not be your thing.
But the approach — being conscious, curious, playful, inquisitive, receptive and asking compassionate questions — will be the same. Try things!
You may have other stuff that works for you. And you’ll also probably discover new techniques or adapt these or invent your own.
And you’ll do it with curiosity, play, exploration, and a loving investigation of what you need.
I was going to give a bunch of examples for each of these, but then I remembered that you guys can do this on your own.
So let’s start coming up with examples and playing with the patterns.
Usual blanket-fort comment zen applies:
We all have our stuff. We let other people have their stuff. We take responsibility for our experience. We don’t tell each other what to do or how to feel. We remember that people vary. We’re here to play.
Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.