Door of Vitality

Glimpses of a glimpse

My secret word is GLIMPSE,
I don’t know what this means but
can’t wait to find out.

For sure it is about perception, proprioception, perspective,
a door that is an invitation, light streaming through,
a sense of could be — or already is,
newness, expansiveness, arriving,
sparks sparking,
(a glimpse!)

This is a wish for June and beyond.

The superpower of Living/Loving The Transitions

This is another June wish,
let’s skip a stone and learn more:

What does it mean to live/love the transitions?

Not everything happens with ease, this is true, most things don’t,
and so we slow it all down,
bringing more attention to both the openings and the constriction,
asking what would bring more ease,
in movement and in stillness and in
this complicated thing of being alive.

I’m pretty sure the in-between is not only EQUALLY important to
both the previous and upcoming moment/action/situation/location,
transitions might even be more important,
because entry is everything.

Entry Is Everything

Entry and exit,
the inhale and exhale of life,
[enter as you wish to be in it / exit as you wish to continue]

The transition is the place of Intention and Naming,
and therefore the place of MAGIC, not to mention…

Voyage > Destination

And anyway how we voyage alters not only where we end up but how we experience it,
so here is the real question…

Questions

How can I voyage (aka breathe, live, dance, cry, flail, write, work, play)
with intention and vitality?

What would it feel like to lovingly tend to the transitions
instead of my default approach
aka ignoring them, resenting them, fighting them, or
just wishing they weren’t so fucking complicated
what would that be like?

What if each problem is really actually just a challenge, and
a challenge is really only a mystery, and
a mystery is actually something I get to play with,
and so here I am, playing,
with words and listening, with watching and waiting,
trusting that each new glimpse will reveal more…

This is a wish for June and beyond

Keys

I tucked my car key in my pocket,
and Slightly Wiser Me said
hey babe, you want to put that on your keychain,
and I ignored her,
possibly I already felt too rushed?

Or, more likely, I figured it was just general advice for
some time in the future.

Later that day she told me,
very clearly and firmly,
she needed me to show up twenty minutes early to [thing],
this was of vital importance,
so I did.

The next sequence of events is foggy and unclear,
I parked, and then, somehow, in between removing the key and
reaching for my bag,
the key mysteriously flung itself over my shoulder
and disappeared under the seats.

Keys open things

So here I am on the hottest day
twisting myself around inside a small broiling vehicle,
searching with fingers and body for one key,
and this car currently houses everything I own in the world,
and I can’t leave
because I can’t lock the car
because I don’t have the key!

Can’t even open the door because I’m on the busiest street,
and can’t drive away (because the key is gone)
or turn on air conditioning or open windows (because the key is gone),
and I am losing my mind from the heat and the tightness.

Slightly Wiser Me

“Wise-me!”, I call,
and she is kind enough not to say I-told-you-so,
she reminds me to breathe through the tears, and to trust in
All Is Well,
as well as logic and truth:

(the key exists, it can be found)
(simple solutions will reveal themselves when I stop panicking)
(drink water and thank past-you who refilled water bottles)
(ahhhhhhhhhhh)

Thank you

And, with that thank-you-exhale, my fingers find the key,
I arrive at my appointment seconds before they lock the door.

Thank you, Wise Me,
you were right you were right you were right
about all of it,
also hey guess what, my key now lives on a ridiculously findable keychain
and I arrive twenty minutes early everywhere I go,
because Entry Is Everything…

Birds, again

You guys! Remember that time a bird
nearly pooped on my head but
missed by a hair (ha! by a hair!)
because Incoming Me told me to stop where I was,
and I listened?

More listening,
with love.

This is a thing that can be hard for me to remember:
as much I instinctively rebel against anything resembling authority,
my internal wise knowing just is.

It is external Perceived Authority that requires dismantling,
Slightly Wiser Me has nothing but unconditional love for me,
whether I follow her suggestions or not,
she holds unwavering trust that no matter what I do,
I will find my way to her.

Trust

I will find my way to her, yes.

May I trust her as much as she trusts me…

This is another wish for June and beyond.

Plenty

Many astonishing things happened to me in May the month of Plenty,
some painful and some straight-up miraculous,
and I was trying to name them all
for this passage (because Entry Is Everything)
into this new Month of Vitality,
and then the barista bought my drink,
ah, hello Plenty, there you are again, and I got distracted,
and now Slightly Wiser Me wants my attention again…

She: This can be so much easier than you think
Me: It can?
She: FOLLOW THE NOs
Me: Wait, is that Follow The Nose or Follow The [No]s?
She: Sure. The instinctual sense of what is not yours, and also, yes, what smells right to you. Trust your wise mammal, your panther self. Cultivate that.

What would it be like to never doubt my no and
never doubt my nose?
And what if my [No]s is a version of my [KNOWS],
and following my nose is trusting what I know,
aka what she knows,
and maybe that is the same.

Another wish for June and beyond

A moment of Glum

Me: Slightly Wiser Me! Talk to me. I am feeling very glum right now
She: That’s allowed.
Me: I want to be a glamorous 1960s cat-burglar played by Audrey Hepburn. Fun and playful and limber and alive. A charming troublemaker with a good heart. Clad in black, flaunting authority, speaking French when needed, I am imagining croissants are vital in this movie. But what do I do when Audrey Hepburn is feeling too glum to come up with plans for the awesome heist that restores the jewels/maps to their rightful owner? I mean, yes, she is charmingly glum, but what do we do with that?
She: I think we can let her mourn how genuinely hard things have been lately.
Me: Okay good point, and then what?
She: Well my love, there is no Then What.

Trust, again

Me: That’s what I don’t get. Does that just mean, okay, whatever emerges emerges? Or is that, like, some deep thing about how There Is Only Now, and if so, what am I supposed to do with that when there is so much glum?
She: The plot will resolve itself, it always does, no one has ever made a movie where the heroine just glumly gazes out at the rain for the entire thing. Okay, possibly in some very French art film. But this is not how a caper goes, and your movie is a caper. This is just a moment, and you need to trust that this moment is relevant to the plot, and also that it will pass.
Me: Huh.
She: Allow the moment to be the moment. Trust the filmmakers and the directors and the actors and the casting people and the people who do the cool rain effects. They have this under control.

Invoking superpowers for the month of Vitality

Wild Vitality
Trust What I Know / Follow The Nose
I Am The Wild Sensualist
Entry Is Everything
I Love the Transitions / I Live In The Air
My Glow is Palpable / My Boundaries Are Palpable
Everything With The Greatest Of Ease
All Good Intentions Shine Through (mine and those of others)
Hey That Was So Much More Fun Than I Expected
Delight In Life And Aliveness
Yes To Self-Cherishing And Self-Treasuring
Everything Is A Warmup For Resting
Doing Nothing Is A Secret Tryst With Incoming Me
Part The Seas For My Magnificence (I See My Own Glow)
What Is In The Pot Can Change Based On How I Enter The Moment Of Removing The Lid
Presence, Grace, Embodied Fullness of Right Here Right Now
Breathe And Breathe Some More
Everything In Its Season
Yes To The Yes And No To Everything Else
Minimal Effort Maximum Magic
All The Best Surprises
Bells Ring
It’s All In The Bag

May it be so. For June and beyond…

Is there anything else I want to put into the pot for June?

I am focusing on internal space and being
the most fierce, fearless and sometimes even straight up intimidating
glorious Panther of glowing boundaries,
may this echo into the world and
may we all be less swayed by the immense fuckery going on in the world
which is indeed immense, amen.

And I am feeling-imagining
how my spine and pelvis are made of jewels, as is my crown
(the crown of my head and the invisible crown),
trying to remember that regal, grounded composed and powerful are
inside me somewhere, part of my nature as
a mammal, an embodied being, a beautiful spirit playing inside
this game of figuring out how a body works,
in all its limitations and in all its capabilities.

My mission is to strengthen my awareness,
heal any residual amnesia
aka the parts of me who have forgotten embodied presence,
and to feel/awaken this aliveness
inside me,
may it be so…

{ANNOUNCEMENT!}

I am still working on putting together a page for crowdfunding purposes that can double as a way for people who read to express thank-you-and-love for my work in the world, as well as a way for me to express thank-you-and-love in return, in the form of some if not all of the cool things that I’m currently working on — which you can read about in the last post! If you’re on the list, you’ll get a note, and I will try to post about it soon too.

THANK YOU.

Invitation: come play with me…

You are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,

Or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading…

You can also share how things have been going, check in, or deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, possibly in code.

Safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishes and checking-in are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing.

We remember that people vary and my process doesn’t have to be yours, and this is a good thing.

Here’s how we meet each other: with great kindness and appreciation and awe, whispering (and sometimes shouting) oh, wow what beautiful wishes!