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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


A world of tiny homes — inside other homes.

This weekend I had a shivanautical epiphany about the concept of HOME, and all the various ways that any one thing can be a home for another thing.

If this thing that I did not know was a home is now a home….

Well, then everything changes.

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”.

— William Morris

Any container is a home.

Or can be. And anything can house anything else. If you want it to.

If an inbox is a home for things that people are bringing before me for my consideration, then it’s okay if I want that home to be clean.

It’s okay that I only want things in there that bring me pleasure. That I know to be useful. That I believe to be beautiful.

If a binder is a home for ideas that I’m excited about, it’s okay to spend time lovingly decorating it and making it beautiful (even if the monster collective points out that no one will ever see it but me).

If a policy is a home for the experience that I’m trying to build, it’s okay that it is firm, sturdy and dependable. In fact, it really needs to be.

If a bed is a home for sleeping…

If a blog post is a home for a certain magical and palpable culture of play and welcoming …

If breakfast is a home for caring for myself…

If my body is the actual physical home of where I live

If a bath is a home for immersion…

If five minutes of Shiva Nata is a home for rewriting the patterns that don’t work anymore…

If shavasana is a home for letting the new thing be absorbed while the old thing is released…

Then everything changes.

Without guilt or pressure: I do not have to remodel all of these homes today or this week.
Or at all, maybe.

I just need to know that they are homes.

To recognize them and name them, and allow my relationship to them to shift.

To remember that they exist to shelter me, comfort me, protect me and care for me in some form.

To close doors that need closing. Revisit expectations that want attention. And to curl up and hide — or to spread out and take up space — in whatever way that I instinctively feel drawn to do.

That is what I’m doing now.

19 Responses to A world of tiny homes — inside other homes.

  1. Hannah
    Twitter: Hannah_Savannah



    Calm. peaceful. true.

  2. Léan Ní Chuilleanáin
    Twitter: leannich

    This is lovely! And just like one of my kids’ favourite books at the moment – A House Is a House for Me by Mary Ann Hoberman.

    Which, come to think of it, might have been your inspiration here.

    Anyway. I’ve just sent a copy of the book to the Playground. I figure it’ll find a spot there, even if it’s not the only copy :-)


  3. Josiane
    Twitter: kimianak

    This is a lovely way of looking at things! It brings me back to the meditation you did with us at Camp Biggification, in which we were visiting the house of our website. Now I feel inspired to do it for all kinds of other things…

  4. seagirl says:

    Oh, I like this concept very much!

  5. VickiB says:

    Oh. Wow. Really, just wow. Home.



    I’m remembering your Chicken, “Thank god I’m back in Portland.” And how you appreciated being home.

    I’m remembering returning home and appreciating it so much…

    And to think about homes for all kinds of things. Yes. Everything changes.

  6. Laureen says:

    Yes – oh. A revelation. Thank you.

  7. Ginny
    Twitter: subtleharmony

    I like this way of looking and thinking. Now to apply this to things in my own life…

  8. Risa
    Twitter: lichtstrom_

    *happy heartsigh*

  9. Elizabeth
    Twitter: elizabethhalt

    This prompted me to clear out about half of my inbox. Soon, I shall clear the remainder. My inbox home and I thank you.

  10. seagirl says:

    My stomach is a home for food. I wouldn’t invite too many people into my home, because then no one has a good time. I wouldn’t invite people who make me feel bad into my home. I would be mindful of my guests, and take time to greet them at a the door and be fully present for them. And as my guests they would be beautiful and healthy and dressed in their colorful finest.

  11. seagirl says:


    And when my guests are gone, I don’t rush to invite more people over, I kind of enjoy the quiet and reflect on the empty home, knowing it will be filled again and I don’t need to fear the emptiness.

  12. Paulita says:


  13. Jessica
    Twitter: JessicaKoppe

    Dear Havi, your writing strikes a chord within myself. I’m working on the same topic here, and as often you put into words what is only a vague idea in my head.

    The concept of home is an amazing metaphor for what is happening around us, and a lot of other things connected to this. In fact, I just understand that my *life* is my home, and that I can set policies or the way it is as I do it with my house. (Ha, interior design!) – Thank you again for sharing your wisdom!

    I’m sending a warm hug to you!

  14. Lurker Mouse Caroline says:

    Wow. This is amazing.

    So many great comments above, too. I love the idea of ‘the house of our website’ especially when married up with ‘an inbox is a home for things that people are bringing before me for my consideration’.

    Huge epiphanies surrounding this, infinite possibilities for homes everywhere …

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  15. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Yes. Yes. So beautiful.

  16. Max Daniels
    Twitter: maxdaniels

    Mmmm, yes! My inbox is like the TARDIS – seemingly infinitely expandable But 230948098 gigs isn’t a reason not to keep things really tidy.

    Earlier this month I set up a bunch of rules for filing emails into folders that I can look at if and only if I am moved to – and my inbox is amazingly airy. I probably don’t need to tell anyone here how much time has been liberated in the process…

  17. Barbara says:

    @ seagirl: I love your “my stomach is a home for food”.

    “…knowing it will be filled again and I don’t need to fear the emptiness.”

    Thanks for these wonderful words! I’ll try to work with them every time I eat :)

  18. Esme
    Twitter: TheRealSqualor

    “If breakfast is a home for caring for myself…”

    Yes. I always see breakfast as a sacred time, very tranquil, easing into the day with tea and a good meal, maybe light reading from something inspiring. The monsters tell me this is a waste of time and I could be scarfing down a bowl of cereal while doing something productive.

  19. […] care of me by: being a home for nourishment and demonstrating to myself that I am worth taking care […]

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