Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
I’m on the eighth week of Shmita, my time of letting the fields be fallow, and Operation True Yes, living on the road in a truck/camper with a beautiful boy and a bunch of notebooks.
And my cycle is lined up with the moon, exactly.
The day of the new moon is the same day as First Sign North, what I call the first sign of blood, in the compass of my cycle.
And then two weeks later, ta da! Full moon: boom, we are ovulating, or as I prefer to call it, we are at Anchor South.
This is actually part of a bigger wish, called Loving Downstairs, aka the process of coming into a better relationship with my downstairs body parts, and all things related.
Particularly the less fun parts. Like the monthly bleeding thing, and the various not-particularly-fun side effects of being a Monthly Bleeder.
As I have been
working with playing with this wish, one of the wonderful, surprising things has been new vocabulary and imagery for all things related to my cycle.
For one thing, imagining the cycle as a beautiful compass works way better for me than the word cycle. A compass is a navigational tool, and a way to passage. Less weighty than cycle.
And then having a compass allowed me to rename all the pieces: First Sign North is when I start Precipitating, and Anchor South sounds way more fun than ovulation.
I call the passage around the compass from north to south Easing, and the second half of the compass, south to north, is Releasing, forming the perfect monthly companion to my year of Easing & Releasing.
I would much rather be a practitioner of Easing & Releasing than think of myself as a Miserably Reluctant Monthly Bleeder, even though they are two sides of a compass-imprinted coin.
What do I want.
I am absolutely loving being all lined up with the moon.
Not even so much because of things earthy, witchy and magical (though yes, maybe!), but because good grief it is just so damn convenient.
When am I getting my period? Whenever it’s new moon. That is way more accurate than my stupid phone app, which used to be pretty good at predicting until I lost my phone and discovered that my backup wasn’t where I thought it was, and lost four years of accumulated data.
Now it’s so simple. Do I want to go to this dance convention? Oh, it’s happening over New Moon, when I will be sitting in a bathtub or curled up in a ball. So, no, that was easy.
Being on the same timeline as the moon is the best, this is what I want.
I’ve been reading up on this because really, who wouldn’t want to be synced with the moon if that’s an option?
I mean, especially for people (not me!) who want to make cupcakes, which is my latest metaphor for moving to Bolivia, because knowing when you ovulate is vital to the mission. But really for anyone whose body makes eggs and then releases them, it’s just useful — and interesting — to know what the body is up to and when.
Being on the very predictable moon schedule makes all of that so much easier.
I’d much rather just pay attention to the moon than take my temperature every day. And the tricky science of analyzing cervical fluid (speaking of things that need to be renamed, my god, let’s come up with a better name for that one) is not really as reliable as the moon either.
Apparently this used to just be the normal way of things, following the moon, and we have gotten lost, thanks to our disconnected lives, and there are lots of people trying to find their way back, and the information out there is contradictory and more than a little confusing.
For example, I have read in a number of places that being outdoors for twenty to thirty minutes a day helps.
Except I did that every day in Portland, and the moon and I were not on the same cycle at all.
And lots of people advocate only natural light, and not using devices or lights at night. But I’ve been taking notes on my phone or writing on my computer at night in the camper, and that hasn’t interfered with me and the moon getting it on, so to speak.
So I think this is one of those cases of a) People Vary, and b) we just don’t know enough about this.
Which means I need to figure out what works for me.
What can I put in my current working hypothesis, which I plan to continue to test over the next months of Operation True Yes aka six month road trip aka life on the road….
These are the things that seem to support me.
And what I mean by this is that they support both my general well-being, and my synced-up-with-the-moon deal.
All of this comes with an implied for me. People vary, and bodies vary and experiments vary, and I have no interest in trying to imply that this is what is right for everyone. This is a jumping-off point.
- It is really, vitally important for me to be outdoors in nature. Not the city kind of outdoors where there are trees but also houses and people. I mean the kind of outdoors where you can’t see evidence of stuff. No buildings or signs or reminders. Deeply outdoors. The more this happens, the better. For me.
- Being actively outdoors, whether that’s walking in the hills for an hour or doing yoga in the grass or general frolicking or standing on a rock and doing secret spirals, which is what I’ve been doing lately. These things are good for me
- Seeing the sky at night. Whether that’s because I’m out at night Peeing Like A Boy with my cool device, or if that’s sitting in bed in the camper with my lover, under the open skylight and looking up at the moon and stars.
- Quiet time with my body.
- Appreciation and thankfulness. While I don’t particularly like the bleeding thing or any of the side effects, I can be appreciative about the creative power inside of this body that I have been given, and I can let this be a door into a different relationship with my body.
What else do I know about what I want?
I want to run more experiments, explore, stretch, find out what I can do to support sharing a cycle with the moon, see what works for me.
Maybe there are ways I can still have the elements and qualities of this even at times when I need to be in a city. Though to be honest, city is seeming pretty unappealing to me right now for more than a few days at a time for a special occasion.
I want this to be my cycle.
I want to be someone who is friends with the moon. I want to know what the moon is up to, and what my body is up to, and to trust in the connection, like in dance.
I want to close my eyes, trust, feel, follow.
If the moon knows how to lead, why would I want to live in any other way, why would I not want to be in the connection, if that’s an option?
And how is it that I’ve been [precipitating] each month for decades and didn’t know I could be doing this together with the moon? How is it that I’ve put up with not-knowing, shocked when it shows up four days early or frustrated when it’s five days late, when I can live my life in a way that makes this compass cycle entirely predictable?
Why didn’t anyone tell me?!
Anything else about this?
Lots of things right now that fall into the category of Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me.
This is a useful and worthy mystery to investigate.
And what if it’s okay that no one told me? Maybe now is the exact right time for me to be arriving at this.
What else do I know about this?
There are so many related wishes.
For example, I am setting off on Operation Adventures In Reverberation, a twelve day solo voyage where I intend to do even more nothing than I am currently doing on sabbatical, to get very quiet, to listen, to receive new intel.
The moon is as good a guide as any for this.
I am also interested in the mystery of This Thing That Seems Like A Curse, What If It’s Not A Curse, which is related to the mystery of If A Curse Is Lifted, How Can You Tell?
And these are also good mysteries to take to the moon. Last year when I was at the Vicarage, the moon was a big clue for me. So I now have a two week voyage between full moon and new moon, let’s see what I get.
I am at the home of some friends of my lover. Their youngest boy, who is three, just noticed my bright red toenails, and got very excited about them. He told me that pink is his favorite color and that as soon as he is four, he can have pink toenails too, right, mom?
His mom said, you can have them now. And then he curled up in the tiniest ball like a hedgehog.
Me: Hey, slightly-wiser me, what do you have for me?
She: Waxing and waning. Filling and emptying. More and less.
Me: Oh right, I don’t need to get annoyed about not being at full energy all the time, because that’s ridiculous and our culture is ridiculous.
She: Yup. Trust your culture. Cultivate the culture of your kingdom, and don’t worry about the rest.
I got locked out of the camper while we were in a parking lot, and walked to the nail salon a polish change and mostly for the air conditioning. I decided I wanted a knock-your-socks-off red, and the first bottle I picked up was called Red Hot Rio.
Brazil is always a clue for me. And at Rally, we used to sing a sea shantey called Away, Rio, which is the song of embarking on a voyage.
And then even though I knew this color was my yes, both the color and the name, it was like I couldn’t trust that, so I picked up another color to compare. That color was called Nice Color, Eh, which is such a boring name I instantly realized how silly it is to try to find a better clue than the one I’d just been given.
Oh, and also on the day I decided this was my wish, we ended up in Half Moon Bay.
The superpower of I take care of myself first.
The quality for April was ADVENTURE, and it came with the marvelous superpower of I have everything I need for this. The quality for May is REVERBERATE, and it comes with I take care of myself first.
May it be so.
This is what I need to remember in my moon investigations, this is what will bring me closer to the moon.
Things I find helpful for intentions and wishes…
Adventure. Rest. Horizons. Security. Passion. Sweetness. Clarity. Presence.
Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere. Ha, this doesn’t require my input! My business is thriving happily without me. I think like a dancer. It’s so perfect it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS. I have what I need, and appreciate it. I am fearless and confident. I state my preferences clearly, calmly and easily, no big deal. I am ready to come into my superpowers and receive.
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka New under the sun…
This was an excellent wish. When I was in Sacramento, I stopped by the co-op and picked up a bottle of wheat germ oil, which, I learned this week, has an SPF of 20.
It has a bit of an orangey tint that gives a surprisingly lovely warm glow to the skin, it’s very moisturizing, and so far it is doing the job of a sunscreen, so I am now officially saying screw you forever to all commercial sunscreen products. YEAH!
It also launched a frenzied investigation into all the other things I can release and replace, and I met a lot of monsters of the variety of “ugh you’re going to become a preachy zero waste homesteader who only blogs about things like making almond milk in a mason jar, and everyone will hate you and you will be boring and depressed”, and I also learned that I have BIG JOY SPARKS OF YES about this mission.
It is part of the mission of Less, and part of the mission of easing and releasing, and I am so glad I started with sunscreen. First sun and then moon. We are moving towards the stars.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I believe the Playground mugs are all sold but you can still acquire a pack of stone skipping cards just send a note and we’ll set it up. Ask Richard for cost/shipping.
Keep me company! Or just say hi!
This is an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads, superpowers, qualities, whatever you’d like, there’s no right way! Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is sharing anything sparked for you.
Comment culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play and throw things in the pot! With amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.
Here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.