Personal ads. They’re … personal! Very.
Two hundred and fifty weeks of wishing!
How great is that?
I feel pretty excited about this.
So let’s find out what the two hundred and fiftieth wish is, and I will imagine that this wish is infused with the magic of all past — and future — wishes. It’s an extra good wish to week, because I just decided that it is.
I will also add that this post (and wish) was originally titled The Quietest Tipping Point. However, the phrase “bells and wishes” as opposed to bells and whistles is just too funny and so completely perfect.
What do I want?
Hmmm. It has to do with tipping, in a variety of ways.
It has to do with recovery and transition.
And it has to do with bubbles and bubbling.
What do I know so far?
Today is my fourth day of a just ridiculously packed crazy-intense dance convention in Bellevue, Washington.
I have been calling this Operation Bell View, because I am here in part to learn about being a better bell, which means seeing all the ways that I already am a bell, as well as seeing all the bells around me.
[Being a bell] = [Glowing my light] = [Being connected to qualities] = [Being deeply beautifully quiet]
Dancing is one of my doors into being a bell, and being a bell is my mission, and so here I am in Bellevue aka Bell View, viewing bells.
If that didn’t make sense, don’t worry about it, and just assume that working on becoming a better dancer is interwoven with the main thing I care about in life.
Anyway. A dance convention is not necessarily the most supportive environment for a highly sensitive person. It’s a lot more human contact than I generally am equipped to deal with, it’s wild hours, and a lot of advanced learning.
I’m so glad I said yes to doing it, and now I need some serious recovery time.
What do I know about recovery time?
Recovery and Gentle Transition after Operation Bell View is the big thing right now. Actually it is part of the mission.
No, actually it is the most important part of the mission.
And this is where I have to pause and thank past-me for setting things up for me of right now.
She found me the perfect hideout: I’m staying with Agent Rosie for two days, where I plan to nap in a dark room and oh, I don’t know, probably just more of that.
And I want to use Tipping as my way into Recovery/Transition, maybe even as my methodology.
What do I know about Tipping?
Tipping is a kind of secret agent code, with two meanings, maybe more.
TIP stands for Trust In Pleasure. It is related to my mision of Self-Treasuring and taking exquisite care of myself.
Tipping means knowing and remembering that taking a long bath with epsom salts and lovely oils is not a waste of my time and it is not “indulgence”, it is trusting that this pleasurable experience is deeply healing, and the more pleasure I allow in, the more healing.
There is also tipping like leaving a tip, and I am noticing that I have some Stuff about this, probably residual pain from my five years of bartending. So I am going to gloss over that for now, and I will remind myself that a tip can also refer to intel: receiving information that is vital to the mission.
Tipping also has to do with the tipping point, a la Malcolm Gladwell, the idea of a moment of critical mass that moves things from potential into kinetic.
Tipping like I’m a little teapot.
This makes me think of this joke that Richard and I have. Whenever one of us is sad, we say oh no Poor Me. And the other one says: “Tip me over and Poor Me out!”
Which is also kind of like potential into kinetic, but it is changing the stagnation of a sad poor-me moment into a silly playful one. This is also like the superpower of bubbles and bubbling.
What do I know about bubbles and bubbling?
Bubbles and bubbling are an important part of recovery and transition because they change the mood.
Blowing bubbles makes everything lighter. You can’t stay in a bad mood while blowing bubbles, I have tried.
Also bubbles in bubble baths.
Also bubbles like bubbling over with joy, which is how I feel when I dance.
And bubbles like Effervescence, the salve and superpower of the month of April on the Fluent Self calendar of Salves. Effervescence means, to me: everything gets lighter, in both senses of that word.
More lightness. More light.
The same thing that happens when I view the bells / when I am a bell.
What else do I know about my wish?
I just want peace and quiet, lots and lots of delicious peace and quiet.
I want to remember that sometimes doing a thing I want requires this kind of deep recovery.
And who knows, maybe lots of things require this kind of deep recovery. Maybe everything.
Maybe this is how I need to exit every mission in order to better enter the next one.
What will help me with my wish?
Not scheduling anything this week.
Crying as much as I need to cry. All forms of release are valid.
Permission and legitimacy. Amnesty.
Anything else? Where do I want to start?
Interviewing Incoming me. Skipping as many stones as possible. Writing and Righting. Xs and Ys. Beautiful dances. To be wonderfully surprised. Red lipstick. Eight breaths. My body gets the deciding vote. Thank you in advance.
My compass for these wishes:
Sustenance. Trust. Presence. Connection. Anchoring. Warmth. Glow. Receiving.
What else do I want?
- Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere.
- I go out dancing at the ballroom.
- This doesn’t require my input!
- Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS
- I have what I need, and I appreciate it. There are resources to do this.
- Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
- I am fearless and confident. I do the brave things and it is not even a big deal, and I still get sparklepoints, yay.
- This week’s ops: Recovery Recovery Recovery.
I was watching this television show and someone said that [X] was a waste of time. The other guy said, “It is until it isn’t.”
In this case, X was a stakeout, and this was correct. So. What if other things I tend to think are a waste of time (like pleasure, for example) are actually important missions that haven’t yielded their treasure yet?
Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.
So. Last week, aka bubbles and bubbling…
As you can tell, I have been thinking a lot about bubbles. I’m going to silent retreat on this for now, other than to say that the castle is definitely coming down, and I am looking forward to learning about what beautiful things will arrive in its place. Or their places, I should say, since there are several castles involved.
Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.
I wish to whisper a whisper about the Monster Manual! It comes paired with the world’s best coloring book, which does so much monster-dissolving magic that even if you wait to try the techniques, you’ll still feel better about everything.
Self-fluency is hard enough, we need ways to to interact with the thoughts-fear-worry-criticism that shuts down creative exploring. And when people get the manual, I am able to me spend more time writing here. So if you don’t need help with monsters, get one for a friend. Or plant a wish that someone gets it for you! And bring people you like to hang out here. The more of us working on our stuff, the better for all of us. ♡
Keep me company?
Consider this an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads. In any size/form you like, there’s no right way. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.
Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.