Pereiras last blog post..Etsy Treasury – CCCOE team

I didn’t know it then, but I would grow up to be a songwriter, but it was only when I wasn’t doing that that I thought, hey, I should contact her.

Somehow I had thought that she was older, and had already passed away…

She had a happy life, sounds like, so hers may not have been lessened by us never meeting again.

But I missed out on continuing the friendship and wisdom of someone who was already kind and generous to me.

Rest in peace, Mae Richard, and know that I remember you everytime I have blueberries…and often when I write.

Forgive me if I begin to talk to you now as I should have my whole life.

Sometimes we have what we need all along.

Ten years ago – well, actually, 12 years ago – I decided I would Never Be A Writer. I would never be able to write the Amazing Fantasy Series that would Change The World and Make Everybody Happy that I’d always imagined I would write. I went to university and studied geography. Yes, geography.

In order to try to get me to go back to writing I even had to go through hospitalisation, which was a bit of a dramatic bonk (described in my latest post all about resiliency). Despite this, despite writing a first version of Amnar and my mother for the very first time telling me it was publishable, I just kept saying no. A few years later, I met a woman who pushed and pushed until I started writing again.

All this time I’ve been avoiding it. I’ve kept trying to get other jobs – being a university teacher, being a database designer, being an analyst – but it never works. I’ve never stayed in one position for more than 12 months, and then the job is done. It took four years and this summer for me to think “Maybe there’s something going on here.”

I was already working on my stuff around writing by then, but really, it was a con. I was pretending to be All About Writing. Actually, I was all about hiding. The universe has been kicking harder and harder. What’s really fun is that suddenly, at the end of November, a lot of the opposition I had felt, 99% of the pain I felt about my past, just evaporated in one moment. It was my Byron Katie Moment.

Since then more and more stuff has come at me. I haven’t got any kind of a plan, because none of the possible plans I formulated work (I’ve tried them already), so I’m just leaving myself open to what life offers. I jump at things randomly, and try them out. I get the feeling that I’m going to eventually come to the specific thing I can feel at the back of my mind. In the meantime, a lot of it is play, learning how to wait, and “coming out” as the real me.

As a kind of conclusion to yet another essay on my life here, it’s nice to read somebody else who gets a sense of being told things by life. Sometimes I think I must be nuts. That is, of course, true, but in a wider and scarier way that my more gentle form of nuts.

End: I did email Kelly at Copylicious. It was random and weird and stream-of-consciousness and I was SO SCARED after I sent it that she would say “HUH? SCARY PERSON.” But no! She got back to me with a load of great links for learning to market myself and get myself out there. Fabulous!

Joely Blacks last blog post..How much can you really know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?

The rains had caused the dam to burst, flooding the city and wreaking havoc on everything – cars were washed away and houses had water in them ruining rugs, furniture and keepsakes alike.

A man stood looking at the devastation out of his second story window, when a boat came by and offered him a lift to safety.

“I’m trying to save my home and God will provide.”

Later on, the water had risen and the man was standing on his roof when another boat came by, calling him to join them in their escape.

“Go on,” he said, “My life is here and God will show me the way.” But the water soon washed him off the roof and he drowned in the roiling waters.

At the Pearly Gates, the man met St. Peter who told him, “You know, you didn’t have to die.”

The man replied, “I was waiting for a sign from God.”

To which St. Peter said,” What the hell! We sent you two boats!!”

The cosmos usually provides what we need if we’re only smart enough to see it.

ACBs last blog post..Arrival in Candyland

tinas last blog post..i saw this empty pub