Last week someone on the bus asked me if I’m “looking forward to Black Friday”.
That was a little weird.
Not compared to things that happen on the bus. Much weirder things happen on the bus, both to me and in general.
In the land of Havi, though, the question seemed bizarre. Just the concept of someone — anyone — theoretically looking forward to Black Friday is something I can’t really wrap my brain around. Yes, people vary.
I am not in fact looking forward to Black Friday. But what if that changed? What if I could?
I mean, since I’ll be hiding under blankets, I guess I could look forward to that for starters. So, why can’t blanket-hiding became my holiday?
That is what I do on Black Friday.
Hide. Under. Blankets.
Blanket-hiding is basically what that day is for, as far as I’m concerned. In fact, it’s kind of odd that this is not already a thing, that they don’t just call it Blanket Friday.
There’s probably a perfect German word for it already. Like Unterdendeckenversteckungstag.
Or, possibly, Tag der Ab Ins Bett Einheit.
I made those up, but they feel right.*
I suggested these on Twitter, and then Jessica volunteered Bloßnichtausdembettkrabbeltag (Justnotevencrawlingoutofbed day!), which is even better.
The Holy Days of Havi Bell.
I keep a notebook called the Holy Days of Havi Bell Who Is A Bell.
It’s where I keep notes about holidays and rituals, so my relationship with these days can be more conscious and more playful. So I can be a bell. And so I can find ways to not be in my stuff about holidays. Because I have big stuff about holidays.
Some of the Holy Days of Havi Bell are Jewish holidays that I do my way. Like Purim, the holiday of costumes, and also the holiday of surprising your friends with delicious baked goods. Or Sukkot, which is practically a festival of blanket forts.
Some are broader-culture holidays that I actively play with, or sometimes subvert.
Groundhog Day, which is the holiday of do-overs.
It is also a day for getting to do everything twice. Two times breakfast! Two times bath!
Or Hermitsgiving, where I run away and avoid American Thanksgiving.
Or Operation V.A.L.E.N.T.I.N., a day to practice being completely and utterly dedicated to sensual pleasure and vital aliveness, combined with zero contact with the extremely irritating (and excessively pink) outside world.
Basically all my holidays are about avoiding. Also connecting.
Avoiding: static, noise, external rules, social media, other people’s expectations and projections.
Connecting to: myself, quiet, peacefulness, presence, desire. What I need and want. Taking exquisite care of myself.
Avoidance in the sense of turning inward and getting quiet, and also in the sense of oh good god make all that noise just stop.
Connection with the things I want to connect to. With the qualities of the voyage.
Blanket Friday is exactly what I need.
Here’s what I don’t want to see, experience or even hear about on the day-after-Thanksgiving:
Pushing. Pressure. Lines. Stress. Anxiety. Commercialism. The collective forgetting, on a grand scale, of everything said the day before about appreciation, thankfulness, kindness, grace.
I know this world of Black Friday exists, and I don’t want to know anything more about it than that.
I want my world of Blanket Friday: cozy, grounded, safe, sheltered, full of sweetness and possibility.
I will be at Rally (Rally!), so this will be somewhat easier because the Playground is absolutely full of blankets, and it is a world unto itself, separate from everything happening outside.
But even if I weren’t, I’d be following the same basic plan:
Stay indoors. With the exception of a walk to the park, maybe swinging on the swings if it isn’t too cold.
Stay offline. Other than to play here with the Friday Chicken.
Naps. Multiple naps.
Drink tea. Be with people I like.
I don’t really know what else is part of Blanket Friday. I guess I’ll find out this Friday.
We are writing the history of Blanket Friday. Rituals will evolve. There will probably be cheese.
That’s probably enough.
Because really, what more needs to be said about a holiday, other than “there will probably be cheese”.
And since the first Blanket Friday hasn’t happened yet, I can’t know what it is like, how I will feel or what I will need.
Like all grand experiments, parts of it will probably be not-so-great, and then I’ll have more information for next year, for the book of the Holy Days of Havi Bell.
There will be good things too. Like comfort and sweetness. Appreciation and a thank-you-heart.
I will whisper a thank you to the person on the bus with the unlikeliest question. And a thank you to past me who filled an entire playground with blankets.
As if she knew that one day I would need a whole day for this.
Join me if you like.
If you would like to celebrate Blanket Friday with me in any form at all, or to adopt an aspect of it, you are invited to. Or invent your own holiday, your own form. We get to play however we like.
If you’re like me and run away from American Thanksgiving, then a peaceful ease-filled Hermitsgiving to us this Thursday.
If you celebrate American Thanksgiving, then I am wishing you a safe and pleasant one. If you’re Canadian, a retroactive happy Thanksgiving and a happy perfectly normal Thursday. If you don’t celebrate, then may it be a beautiful day. And a comforting Blanket Friday to all!
And if another wish is in order, here is a wish for the thing you need and desire in the best form for you to receive it.
Thursday night is also the first night of Hannukah, so chag urim sameach.
Things that are welcome here: Excitement about Blanket Friday, as an idea and my new experiment! Well-wishes of all forms. Blankets. And cheese.