Comments on: 3 ways to annoy the people you want to help: Part Three http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/ When you need some destuckification. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:47:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-636 Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome Thu, 18 Sep 2008 05:54:04 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-636 I must be super comfortable and successful because I let it all hang out on my blog - people see me struggle with everything that I pass on to them. I wrestle with some issue, get the crap stomped out of me while I deny and resist, stop fighting, learn the lesson, then say to my audience: okay, now don't do this because it hurts. Try this instead. ;) On the "we're so successful" note, at my first Professional Organizers conference, I went to a session about passive income and the couple giving it started talking about real estate and how much they loved living without jobs due to their ownership of a few small apartment buildings. They then mentioned that they had left super stressful six-figure income jobs. So I asked how someone who left a low five-figure income job could get started and they said: "by saving money" like I was an idiot. Then when asked "and how do you save money when you're not even covering the bills?" and they looked at me blankly (never having been in that situation in their lives) finally saying: "you just save money." I gave up. Cheers, Alex Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..<a href="http://somedaysyndrome.com/2008/09/relying-on-memory/" rel="nofollow">Relying on Memory</a> I must be super comfortable and successful because I let it all hang out on my blog – people see me struggle with everything that I pass on to them. I wrestle with some issue, get the crap stomped out of me while I deny and resist, stop fighting, learn the lesson, then say to my audience: okay, now don’t do this because it hurts. Try this instead. ;)

On the “we’re so successful” note, at my first Professional Organizers conference, I went to a session about passive income and the couple giving it started talking about real estate and how much they loved living without jobs due to their ownership of a few small apartment buildings. They then mentioned that they had left super stressful six-figure income jobs. So I asked how someone who left a low five-figure income job could get started and they said: “by saving money” like I was an idiot. Then when asked “and how do you save money when you’re not even covering the bills?” and they looked at me blankly (never having been in that situation in their lives) finally saying: “you just save money.”

I gave up.

Cheers,
Alex

Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Relying on Memory

]]> By: Havi Brooks http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-634 Havi Brooks Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:34:37 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-634 @Pam - Oh, you're so right. As always. I didn't even get into the ones who go the other way but there are plenty of examples of that in my "what not to do" file too. :) (For everyone else: Pamela Slim is the awesomest person online and is 100% always in my "Yes, this is exactly how you should do it" file!) @Janet - You've got to stop leaving comments that I read right when I take a sip of water. It's spit-take city around here. The Laughing Out Louds: they never stop. @Pam – Oh, you’re so right. As always. I didn’t even get into the ones who go the other way but there are plenty of examples of that in my “what not to do” file too. :)

(For everyone else: Pamela Slim is the awesomest person online and is 100% always in my “Yes, this is exactly how you should do it” file!)

@Janet – You’ve got to stop leaving comments that I read right when I take a sip of water. It’s spit-take city around here. The Laughing Out Louds: they never stop.

]]> By: Janet Bailey http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-631 Janet Bailey Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:02:12 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-631 Yeah, I find the lookit-my-great-life stuff annoying too. But a lot of my annoyance is with the whole "here's how to appear authentic" approach. Yeck. Oops, private jet waiting, gotta go-- Yeah, I find the lookit-my-great-life stuff annoying too. But a lot of my annoyance is with the whole “here’s how to appear authentic” approach. Yeck.

Oops, private jet waiting, gotta go–

]]> By: Pace and Kyeli » Blog Archive » Do I look holier-than-thou in these pants? http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-630 Pace and Kyeli » Blog Archive » Do I look holier-than-thou in these pants? Thu, 18 Sep 2008 01:26:44 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-630 [...] Havi just hit me right on the nose with this post. Here’s an excerpt: You want to annoy someone you care [...] [...] Havi just hit me right on the nose with this post. Here’s an excerpt: You want to annoy someone you care [...]

]]> By: Pamela Slim http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-627 Pamela Slim Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:10:16 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-627 Wow, now I feel better about my communications. I actually like saying things like "I am in the 7th circle of Dante's hell editing my book!" because it does feel hard sometimes. But, really, life is good. It cracks me up to share the stress I am feeling with others, because I agree Havi, being perfect all the time is not what it is about. Besides which it is untrue and impossible. I think the fine line when you are someone who is trying to help people who have "stuff" when you are also someone who has "stuff" (which we all do) is to still project a (true) vision of "while it is hard and feels icky, look, it is possible because I am doing it too, even though I am just a couple steps ahead of you." If you let ALL your stuff hang out, you can lose the confidence of those you are trying to help. Good stuff Maynard! -P Pamela Slims last blog post..<a href="http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/get_a_life_blog/2008/09/how-many-lehman.html" rel="nofollow">How many Lehman employees do you think have backup plans?</a> Wow, now I feel better about my communications.

I actually like saying things like “I am in the 7th circle of Dante’s hell editing my book!” because it does feel hard sometimes.

But, really, life is good. It cracks me up to share the stress I am feeling with others, because I agree Havi, being perfect all the time is not what it is about. Besides which it is untrue and impossible.

I think the fine line when you are someone who is trying to help people who have “stuff” when you are also someone who has “stuff” (which we all do) is to still project a (true) vision of “while it is hard and feels icky, look, it is possible because I am doing it too, even though I am just a couple steps ahead of you.”

If you let ALL your stuff hang out, you can lose the confidence of those you are trying to help.

Good stuff Maynard!

-P

Pamela Slims last blog post..How many Lehman employees do you think have backup plans?

]]> By: Sonia Simone http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-626 Sonia Simone Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:05:00 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-626 Laffing. I know some folks who have the no boundaries thing going on as well, which is not that fun to be around either. Laffing. I know some folks who have the no boundaries thing going on as well, which is not that fun to be around either.

]]> By: Havi Brooks http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-625 Havi Brooks Wed, 17 Sep 2008 22:01:43 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-625 @Sonia - Ohmygoodness, you just nailed it. Exactly. INCLUSIVE and JOYFUL. That is <em>so</em> how to do it. And yeah, I think that's such a good point that it takes strength to be vulnerable. Either that or no boundaries at all .... No, I think it's powerful. But yeah, counter-intuitive for sure. @Sonia – Ohmygoodness, you just nailed it. Exactly. INCLUSIVE and JOYFUL. That is so how to do it.

And yeah, I think that’s such a good point that it takes strength to be vulnerable. Either that or no boundaries at all …. No, I think it’s powerful. But yeah, counter-intuitive for sure.

]]> By: Sonia Simone http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/3-ways-to-annoy-people-part-three/comment-page-1/#comment-624 Sonia Simone Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:53:22 +0000 http://www.fluentself.com/?p=607#comment-624 Ha ha ha, if you ever post anything as obnoxious as your biggish noozletter person, I am so sticking pins in you (and not in an enjoyable way). There's a real art to talking about good fortune in a way that's inclusive and joyful instead of just, "yay, I am so fantastic, too bad you're pathetic, but if you buy my product maybe you won't be so bad." The funny thing is, I'll bet you she's secretly crazy and miserable. When people are truly serene and comfortable, they tend to share a lot more of the embarrassing stuff, because let's face it, that's what's hilarious and interesting. Sonia Simones last blog post..<a href="http://www.remarkable-communication.com/zen-selling/" rel="nofollow">Objection Blaster Series #2: The Zen of Selling</a> Ha ha ha, if you ever post anything as obnoxious as your biggish noozletter person, I am so sticking pins in you (and not in an enjoyable way).

There’s a real art to talking about good fortune in a way that’s inclusive and joyful instead of just, “yay, I am so fantastic, too bad you’re pathetic, but if you buy my product maybe you won’t be so bad.”

The funny thing is, I’ll bet you she’s secretly crazy and miserable. When people are truly serene and comfortable, they tend to share a lot more of the embarrassing stuff, because let’s face it, that’s what’s hilarious and interesting.

Sonia Simones last blog post..Objection Blaster Series #2: The Zen of Selling

]]>