My darlings,

I am living by my commitment to begin this year with the practice of conscious entry. By preparing for the voyage. With the voyage, of course, as this incoming year.

And to do that, I am exiting the year that was.

Mmmmmm.

First VPAs of the new year.

Hi there, year.

I’m practicing wanting what I want.

So let’s do this.

Yesterday I did five minutes of Shiva Nata with my primary partner in crime.

There was lots of giggling. And then Shiva Nata told us that SILLINESS IS POWER.

Which is fabulous. And also kind of scaring me because whoah, siliness!

I adore silliness. So I’m making a gwish right here for all of my wants for the coming week to be planted in a field of silliness and power. A silly field! So there!

I had the big meeting that I was gearing up for last week.

And now the ball is in my court, as they say.

I need to throw together a proposal. God I hate that word. I’m pretty sure it’s been metaphor-moused at some point but brain-fog on that.

Oh, this is feeling heavy and not fun. I want it to be light, clear and full of tingly anticipation.

Okay. When my internal monster collective is being too scary or mean for me to interact with, I call for a negotiator to do it for me.

The current situation: I want to purchase some clothing to help me practice for the necessary identity shift that’s part of something I’m working on right now. A secret costume!

Meanwhile, the monsters are up in arms about the EXTRAVAGANCE and DOOM. And that’s probably enough to go on. Let’s do this.

You know, some weeks I have massive VPA resistance, and even the thought of wanting or finding out about the wanting (or admitting to it) is already a really big deal.

This week I have lots of wants, but am not entirely sure how to formulate them. I guess because they seem so contradictory.

On the surface, at least.

But I know from having done this for … yes, a hundred and twenty five weeks in a row … it all kind of sorts itself out.

So maybe I’ll start with that.

What has happened since we said goodbye to October and then hello to November?

I’m not sure. Probably lots of things!

Let’s find out. How about this time we do it Friday-Chicken style (the hard and the good of November)? And then we can plant some gwishes for December.

Also I am going to be five years old today.

A couple weeks ago I found myself cycling into a loop of stuck every time I started thinking about the venue for Shivanauticon.

Shivanauticon (which I say in my head with about a thousand exclamation points!) is the extremely sparkly Unconventional that we’re throwing this August.

It’s a giant crazy project that both thrills me deep into my bones and also is kind of scaring me, because it’s so vital and magical and necessary — for the world, you guys! — in ways that I don’t yet understand.

Anyway, venues. I had hit a wall. And that was interesting. A clew!

Ahhhh. Wishing.

Sometimes the gwishes flow out of me, and other times I putter around the Playground, avoiding them.

Today was like that.

So we’re taking a breath. Acknowledging the hard. Remembering that now is not then. And committing to discovery, play, and wonder. And, as always, safety first!

This weekend I had a shivanautical epiphany about the concept of HOME, and all the various ways that any one thing can be a home for another thing. If this thing that I did not know was a home is now a home…. Well, then everything changes. “Have nothing in your house that you do [...]