Thought 2: Your stuff doesn’t have to be helpful for everyone.

It doesn’t.

It just needs to be helpful for the people who need it in that form in that moment.

Those are your Right People. The ones who need your voice.

Anyone who doesn’t find it helpful? Probably not one of your Right People. Or not ready yet.

That person can go. Be there for the ones who do need what you have to say.

The other huge piece of advice I got from Michael –and this was my lightbulb thing– was this:

I should stop looking for a VA … and start looking for someone I really like who gets my business. Someone who really, really gets it.

To look for qualities over skills, personality over ability and willingness to learn and get dirty over experience.

Find the person you like and then train them to do what you want them to do.

“What if I don’t know what my thing is yet?”

We all wonder about that. Seriously.

I still haven’t found my thing. I’ve just stopped worrying about it.

My thoughts on this.

1. Your thing is the beautiful qualities that come from your heart.
It doesn’t matter what form that takes. Or if the form keeps changing.

That quality will infuse every single thing you do. And the people who need that quality will flock to you.

Oh, and it should go without saying — but I’m saying it anyway — that giving anyone an answer to anything (as I’m about to do!) when you’re dealing with a 140-character limit is reckless and irresponsible at best.

And that you don’t have to take my advice. And that yes, these answers are simplistic (hello, 140 characters). And each one probably deserves its own post.

And that this sort of bizarre Twitter coaching probably has some embarrassing and stupid name like “twoaching” and we will never speak of that again.

As far as I had been concerned, finding out more about what was going on had just been preamble. I was all ready with my super-genius techniques to start doing some pattern-shifting and stuck-zapping. You know, the real work.

But you know what? Once we figured out the source, they didn’t need my help anymore. The avoidance started to clear as soon as the stuck became visible and obvious.

Once they knew what the stuck was, it didn’t work anymore. It couldn’t scare them or keep them frozen in place.

Here’s my question:

I think there are just some things that are not in one’s nature, and there’s no reason to force yourself.

But how can you tell if you are being true to yourself, or just giving in to what feels safe?

Here is a concrete example from my life: I’m an introverted person. That doesn’t mean I don’t like people, or don’t enjoy being with them, or even meeting new people, but it takes a *lot* out of me.

This is not “Oh fine, I’ll go back to bed.” Because that can end up triggering all sorts of (completely legitimate) fears about getting lost in the depression and the stuck.

It’s a conscious, active “I am intentionally giving myself this time and space to be with myself and my body so I can practice receiving comfort.”

If that’s not annoying enough for you, please note that when I discuss the ahem, forum environment, I go out of my way to avoid ever using the plural of the word “forum”,

Only because I know you will laugh at me if I say fora … and I can’t say the other thing. Sorry. Blame the fact that I minored in classical culture at Tel Aviv University.

So … prepare yourself for some horribly awkward work-arounds.

Come hang out inside my head for a minute while I deal with some meta-issues first.

One of the problems I have while answering Ask Havi questions is that I can never decide whether to answer the question that the asker thinks they’re asking or if I should really answer the one that I think they’re asking.

You don’t have to remember. You don’t have to do anything. Practicing being ready to accept kindness is enough. And if you’re not there yet, you’re not there yet.

It will come.