Seriously, blogging therapy is good for my soul too. And it’s so great to see people (gently) pushing on their own walls too.

@Dana – I love where you’ve been taking your blog. It’s amazing how in just a week or so the whole space has kind of blossomed into this really fun, kinda goofy safe place. Really beautiful.

@Charlene – Bull Durham! One of my favorites. And yeah, that’s a really powerful description of what it’s like, to build prisons, recognize them, tear them down and create new, comfortable cozy spaces in their place.

I find all of this very reassuring. Especially that you’re all with me in this screwy process. Writing, thinking about writing, wondering which parts of our patterns are keeping us from ourselves. The safety thing is a big deal.

You’re all giving me good stuff to read too — appreciated.

I’m just going back through your posts on blogging and I have to say this is about the most helpful thing I’ve ever read on the internet. It’s not so much the blogging – I kept an online diary for six years in a space where I could control who saw it (I’m quite a private person – but the whole writing thing.

I’m 30 years old, and in the past five years I’ve written 17 books. Not little books, huge books. Fiction books. I used to talk about them with people, shared some of the writing in a safe space, but what’s really held me back from taking any of it forward in an official way is the utter terror of being seen and having people read what for me is the most precious thing in the whole universe. “What if they think it’s rubbish?” I think over and over.

As a consequence, friends have pushed me to submit to publishers, and other friends take over the whole operation themselves. I’ve come extremely close twice with big publishers, but I’m always secretly relieved that nothing comes of it. It’s been my dream since I was, well, born, and I’ve never wanted to do anything else (I’m no good at anything else!) but the fear has been too much for me to cope with. Every submission tangles me up so I can’t write a decent synopsis or get anywhere. I have a friend who produces the first book as a podcast for me and I get terrified every time a new person even shows up on the site.

I’m using this as a confessional space, I guess, because in a way it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. In a world where I’m constantly bombarded with people trying to sell me tools for selling me, it’s good to know it’s not just me who feels this fear.

Reading these posts on blogging has also helped me with my public blog, and opening up about sharing the journey I’m on right now.

Just wanted to say all that to say thank you really. Long-winded, but then that’s what I do.

J

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Still, it stopped me from blogging on that blog. I abandoned it, and all my readers, b/c I couldn’t deal with the fear. This post, though, is making me think about starting that blog up again, maybe with a different link, or maybe with a “screw you, don’t read my blog” post.

However, I’m not sure. And I can totally relate to the fear. To those readers who wrote to Chavi about the whole fear thing — I hear you! And I’ve been there! But for those years when I *did* blog at this secret blog, I got email from people who I helped, who felt less alone reading my words. If you can get past the fear, just know it will make a difference for people out there.

Rachel

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I might be an introvert when it comes to one-on-one interactions but me up on a stage performing? The bigger the crowd the better!

(Ain’t self-awareness great? ;) )

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Thank you for mentioning me, and in such a positive light. :) The way you described my blog, and me, makes me very happy. The way I see it, if I can’t be true, then no one who reads my blog will benefit. Nor will I, for that matter. In that case, it would be an utter waste of time and brain power!

I have tons of fears, but not about blogging, oddly enough. Blogging is where I get to be myself, get to talk about my fears, to work them out, talk to them, about them, and then let others in to share their perspective as well.

I haven’t been able to blog for a while now, and I miss it. It’s one of my favourite places, because while I do have readers, many of whom have even become friends, there’s still a sense for me of total freedom. I can let myself go and say exactly what I feel or think.

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@Havi I LOVE these blogging therapy posts. I just started, but reading these for the past weeks, (and re-reading them often) have really helped me in my little fledgling blog. I hear you in my head, and Selma too (isn’t that a little frightening?) and it makes it easier to keep typing, using the delete key and yes, pushing that publish key.

Each of the issues you have tackled so far is something I find myself feeling or thinking each morning as I sit down to write. It’s like you are sitting next to me with that smile, telling me I’m fabulous and since I work all by my lonesome in my house, hearing voices is a good thing.

To repeat all the abundant love above, Thank you!!

They probably won’t make fun or whatever, but if they do, it’s almost always because your power in putting yourself out there frightens them. Let them be frightened. Beyond that, let them be inspired by your courage, yeah? We could all stand being a little braver, don’t you think?

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