We don’t need to think big. We don’t need to do big things. We don’t need to be big.
No. Let me say it like this:
We don’t need to be big in order to be biggified.
And certainly not any bigger than we want to.
Some people think that working on biggification means they have to grow — in the sense of becoming larger.
Like this: oh no I don’t want to have giant staff meetings and oh no I need to have time for myself and oh no I don’t want a bunch of cloned coaches teaching branded programs with my name on it.
Of course you do not have to become big when you biggify.
No. That’s not what biggification is.
You grow as a person. You grow your relationship with yourself. You grow into the version of you who is more at home in your skin. Who has more you-ness.
And is more comfortable sharing that kind of presence. And doing things that matter.
While connecting to the right kinds and amounts of people, presence and money to support your mission.
Some (really important) points about what biggification really is.
Biggification is not about being big. It’s about being mindful.
I don’t care about big (or any variation on “think big think big”). I care about you having a conscious loving relationship with yourself and your stuff.
And not having to hide any more than is absolutely necessary for you to feel safe. So that you can connect with your people.
A lot of people think getting biggified means you have to want to make piles of monies.
And you can want to make piles of monies. That’s a legitimate thing to want.
But really, biggification means that you are not scared of who you will become when you have enough to live on happily, or more than enough.
It means arriving at a level of comfort with enough and with more, knowing that you can give it to the people and organizations who need it.
Knowing that you trust yourself to not become a total sleazeball.
Knowing that everything you do with all the resources you have (not just financial wealth but your big fat brain and your insights, courage, compassion, ideas and connections) has meaning.
Biggification is knowing what your stucknesses have to say.
It’s knowing how to discern between what is true for you and what is fear.
All the worries of what if I have to grow BIG and then I won’t like who I am or how my life is? This isn’t biggification.
Mindful biggification means agreeing to not drag yourself out of your comfort zone (man, that’s an old post).
It means consciously choosing to challenge yourself while still creating safe spaces.
It means not going the way of resistance and fighting and hurling yourself at walls.
Not going the way of doing violence to yourself. Dissolving fear instead of making war on it. Healing habits instead of breaking them.
Noticing what’s going on and being as understanding and playful as you can stand.
When we biggify, we are always playing.
I have a lot to say about play. This might need its own post.
But yes, play is why I have a Playground (with monkeys!) instead of a yoga studio. It’s why I have a duck instead of a business partner. It’s why I’m a pirate queen instead of a CEO.
It’s why we rally at the Rally (Rally!) instead of a seminar or a summit or things that grownups go to. It’s why we have Drunk Pirate Council instead of meetings.
It’s why we’re having a good time.
It’s the obvious next step.
Biggification is always the natural extension of destuckifying.
If you spend enought time working on your stuff and rewriting your patterns, you’ll find that you have a lot to say.
You’ll find that there are things you care about passionately. And people you want to inspire or connect with. You’ll feel more of a pull to do things that matter.
It still doesn’t mean you want to have flunkies or that you want crazy visibility.
It means you feel significantly more comfortable being you out loud. And having whatever support need in order to do that with ease and grace.
And this is a good thing.
What’s not that important.
1. Whether or not you want to be HUGE.
It’s your life and your business. You’re a sovereign being. If you don’t want big, you don’t ever have to go big.
2. All those things that the biggifiers and experts talk about (having a niche, knowing your demographics, blah).
You can care about these things if you want to. But you don’t have to. I don’t.
What is — very — important.
- That you feel safe and supported putting things you care about out into the world so its right people can connect with it.
- That you bring more of your voice to the things you care about.
- That you don’t have to be intimidated by big. Or that you’re working on your stuff and destuckifying, so that you’ll be able to know that your choices come from love and not fear.
- That whatever being fabulously successful (and happy about it) means to you can happen in a way that doesn’t require you doing stuff that is anxiety-inducing.
- Stopping for thing like picnics. And costume changes. And to find out what you need next.
At the comment pajama party …
There is so much pressure in this online world. To figure out the right way, and to do what all the experts say (even though there’s conflicting advice everywhere).
And to do it quickly because we have bills to pay and we have urgency monsters, both of which are equally demanding.
So I just wanted to recognize out loud how painful and frustrating that can be.
In the meantime, we all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We let people have their own experience, and we don’t give advice unless someone asks for it.
Internet hugs. And popcorn!
Postscripting for three people: we’ll be spending 8 days on this (figuring out your plan for biggifying in a way that’s fun, not-scary, very effective and doesn’t require hugeness) in Asheville in November: The Week of Biggification. Password: pickles.