Thank you for taking the time to alleviate my fears – it means the world to me. Really.
marie´s last post … I have a dream – what is yours?

In theory, I completely get it. But I’ve been having a real hard time putting it into practice. I’ll do well for a while, and then, without realizing, slowly slipping back into the worrying/freaking out/what if they don’t like me??? phase.

Just these past couple of days, I realized this is what I was doing. And now I’m taking the steps to climb out of it.

The most important part is knowing that it’s OK to slip back. I make an effort to remember that, and it works.

Thanks Havi!
Melody´s last post … Stuffed! I reached my limit…

And it’s scary/frustrating when we’ve already had experiences of having to silence ourselves.

I think you’re going about things the right way, and taking care of yourself while you’re doing it. Which is the important thing.

And really, some of my best friends are coaches. Hell, most of them. And I’m one too, even if I don’t like the word. It’s a useful word. It has its place. My point is: call yourself whatever you like. I won’t mind!

@Bridget – those are all really useful questions. And it *is* really hard to trust that the right people are going to find their way in.

I definitely hear the worry/fear that it won’t work, or that it will be uncomfortable for other people.

I also think a lot about what Andrea J. Lee says … it’s more elegant than this, but the basic idea:

If we shine our light in a really focused way, that light is bright and powerful and the people who need it can see it. If we let it diffuse all over the place, trying to reach anyone who needs a speck of it, there’s no place to gather and be in the light.

So for me, I try to do a few things:

1. to speak in a voice that is truly mine, so that the people who will be a good fit can feel that.

2. to remind myself that the more I biggify, the more people I’ll be able to help outside of the boundaries of my velvet ropes. Like, everyone who reads the blog gets to be in some way part of my thing. Which is great.

3. to try and trust that the people I can’t help will be helped by one of the other, many helper mice out there.

But you’re right. We can’t always know. The best we can do is to speak what we know (and what we don’t).

My experience has been that the people who need me will find me, if I’m doing my part to work on sovereignty and to recognize the parts of me who want to stay hidden.

I don’t know if that helps, but … stuff to think about. :)