Comments on: The CEO with the stripey socks (part 2)

By: Mark W. "Extra Crispy" Schumann

Mark W. "Extra Crispy" Schumann — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:34:18 +0000

Funny you say that Kate, my ex-wife used to love having the chair pulled out. (As drsweetie later said, "I thought we decided you needed a feminist!") Sometimes it's hard to know whether it's the doing or the lack of doing that will be offensive, ya know? Even when the right way is obvious to you and me. .-= Mark W. "Extra Crispy" Schumann´s last blog ..Good ideas in a Daily Scrum =-.

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:28:11 +0000

Awesome. Congratulations! I’m going to try this.

Now if I can just get past the overwhelming desire to have a long rant at the waiter about the offensive practice of pulling out chairs for women… Any suggestions on how to cope with that? :)

By: Alicia

Alicia — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:54:04 +0000

Yay for practice and successive iterations! (It’s only one guy.)

By: Sonia Simone

Sonia Simone — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:50:28 +0000

Janice — “some molehills are mountains,” amen to that.
.-= Sonia Simone´s last blog ..What Makes Marketing Hard? =-.

By: Christine Myers

Christine Myers — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:13:55 +0000

In thinking about sovereignty the saying "don't let people live rent-free in your head" keeps popping up. I heard this a couple of years ago and it really helped me do some positive mindset shifting. .-= Christine Myers´s last blog ..I Love My Cellulite =-.

By: JoVE

JoVE — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:38:52 +0000

That’s amazing. And the universe sending you that woman to show you how it is done without looking fussy? even more amazing. Though when you think of it “regal tip of the head” and “sovereignty” do kind of go together.

Maybe your new mantra should be WWQE2D? or maybe not.
.-= JoVE´s last blog ..Don’t let obligation get you down =-.

By: claire

claire — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:22:41 +0000

I love this! What’s so great about confronting the seat situation each day is that you got to put what you learned into action without great delay.

Your inner monologues sound very familiar to me though in the moments, I’m not quite as aware of it all. The catch is I’ll have the “I’m going to try that next time” thought but it might be weeks or months before the same situation comes up and by then whatever answer I thought I had is often gone.

Having a good role model even for things as seemingly simple as getting the seat you want is a great help. I keep my eyes out for people who are confident and graceful in their interactions with other people. I hate feeling like I’m giving waitstaff a hard time, but I do want clean silverware or what I actually ordered. Still figuring out why it’s so hard to ask, what the thing is that’s stresses me out so much in the moment, makes me incoherent like Day 3 or just resigned like Day 1.
.-= claire´s last blog ..Out and Proud, kiddos =-.

By: ilikered

ilikered — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:40:27 +0000

I’ve been thinking about and working on this sovereignty stuff a lot over the past month. There has been a lot of shifting in my personal relationships and a big wake up call to take care of myself. Making big changes and decisions in the spirit of gaining sovereignty has made it so much easier and less guilt ridden. Last Thursday this part REALLY stuck: “No one else gets diminished by you standing in your own light.
When you act out of sovereignty, the result is always gracious because you’re respecting both your own space and that of the person you’re interacting with.
The more sovereignty each person has and experiences, the more everyone gets.”
I feel like I have worked through some really tough relationship stuff, found peace and resolution and am in the process of actively making the external changes that I need. NEXT UP: work on sovereignty as it relates to my stuckness, my art making (lack of). I am actually super excited to get in the muck and use this new thinking to take some steps forward. YEA for new tools! tools that WORK!

By: Julie

Julie — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:49:57 +0000

This is awesome! I come at it from the pov in which my partner is very heavy and needs seats without arms and tables instead of booths, and we’ve both gotten so much better about just saying “oh hey, can we have that table over there?” or, at this weekend’s wedding, “We’re going to need an armless chair at Table 9 — is there any way I can help with that?”

But yeah, it’s taken years of practice to be able to just ask without any kind of brain commentary on it, especially for her.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Wherever You Go, There You Are =-.

By: emilylime

emilylime — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:36:08 +0000

@spiralsongkat this is the really juicy step for me, the one that just feels monumentally unscalable:

4. It is also okay if I don’t always get exactly what I want. Sovereignty means having the freedom to compromise as well — but mindfully, seeking the win-win solution, using non-violent communication. Compassion without caving in. Wow!

Wow-ow-ow!

@havi thanks as always for modeling so well for all of us! WOO HOO!