my version of hard lies in this:
why do so many people feel like the fact that i’m self-employed means that they can give me (unsolicited) advice on how to run my business (…when they certainly would not tell a 9-5er how to do their job…and they have no experience running a small business)?

and i think that everything you said here applies equally well to that. you gave me some great ideas on how to approach it the next time i receive that “advice”.

Thank you.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Lessons from a 2 year old! =-.

Until then, I suppose I’ll resist responding, “What does it matter? Do you really need to compare me with your kids I went to school with? or with yourself? When I have a pitch for something I want you to be a part of, you’ll know.” Then again, that sounds mighty tempting. Too bitchy for sovereignty?
.-= claire´s last blog ..Pizza and the patience it tries =-.

@Elizabeth – man, I am so sorry that you’re going through that with the neighbor! Ick! Hard! Shoes!

I think it’s really important to remember (as I’m hearing from you) that even if/when we *know* that someone’s intention is good, sometimes knowing that is not enough.

Because, you know, we’re in pain from what they say. And in those cases we need to make sure we have some protective distance, both emotional and physical from these situations.

@Ryan – nice! I love that they’re asking you for advice now.

That’s been my experience too, that the people who were the biggest nay-sayers when they started this thing are now much less intimidated by entrepreneurship in general.

@claire – ohmygod, the question “So what are you doing these days” should be outlawed. So stressful! Really, it’s like you can’t win with that one. :)

Your advice is spot-on.

I’ve found that oftentimes when people bring me “advice” or can’t believe that I’m taking care of myself and my stuff in my way instead of theirs, it’s really not about me or the way I’m dealing with your stuff at all. It’s about them and the way they’re dealing with theirs. But – either way – opening that dialogue in a way that honors both my feelings/needs/boundaries and theirs has been incredibly powerful.

The gentle reminder was needed. :)
.-= Charlotte´s last blog ..Intrepid(ation). =-.

My parents could worry for Ireland, as they say. I love what Deb Owen said above about accepting that their intentions are loving, even if their modes of expression tend to make me feel backed into a corner.

The support thing: I recently told a friend about my new blog, and hinted that I wanted it to grow into something that would earn money. And it was like confessing to a crime. Incredibly risky. The rolling sense of relief I felt when he said “wow, cool!” (or words to that effect) is indescribable.

This is what I need from the people around me: I need them to go “wow, cool!” first, and ask questions later – and I mean kind, respectful questions that make it clear they’re not challenging my basic decision.

Tricky.

But thanks for articulating it so clearly.
.-= Lean Ni Chuilleanain´s last blog ..Sunday Stash, no. 2 =-.

Jack, he is a banker
And Jane, she is a clerk
Both of them save their monies, ha
And when, when they come home from work

Some people, they like to go out dancing
And other peoples, they have to work, just watch me now!
And there’s even some evil mothers
Well they’re gonna tell you that everything is just dirt

jon