Thanks for this post. Needed it today!

Karl Staib – Work Happy Nows last blog post..The Necessity of Giving Gratitude at Work

I love this post. I mean, I love all your posts, but this one especially so. And I love the idea of a group sobbing meditation. We get so many messages about controlling our feelings, and how our feelings need to make logical, rational sense or that our feelings shouldn’t be what they are, and of course all of that makes us completely crazy!

I learned a long time ago that feelings have their own rationale and reason for being and just because they don’t always let the left brain in on the “what” and the “why” is no reason to try to make them stop!

When people come to my painting classes sometimes they will just start sobbing because they painted the color blue or painted an eyelash on a dog or for just about anything at all! And it is such a relief for them that they are allowed to just cry for “no reason.” It’s another way that we need to learn to trust the wisdom of our hearts and our bodies without forcing them to explain themselves. They have their reasons. But those reasons can only be felt, not always cognitively understood.

Thanks again for your wise and wonderful heart!

Love you bunches,
Chris

chris zydels last blog post..STAYING CREATIVELY ALIVE: KEEPING YOUR EYES OPEN, YOUR JUICES FLOWING AND YOUR SHADOW GREASING THE WHEELS

@JoVE - "And eventually it was." Oh that is so beautiful. I agree with Sonia that this is exactly the right sort of gentleman friend.

Also, that is so perfect because it really is eventually okay.

And sometimes there is just a lot of sadness to release and it really doesn't matter if you figure out why it's there or where it comes from. Letting it pass through you and leave you is a perfectly good way to let it out. Path of least resistance.

Most of us make the mistake of saying "Well, there's no reason at all for me to be upset" when of course there is, we just can't remember what it is.

Anyway, good on your gentleman friend. That's brilliant.

On the sobbing front, I realize that I have been really lucky to have an English gentleman friend who didn’t tell me not to cry. I used to have really regular crying jags (every Sunday night for a few years) and he would just hold me and say that even though I didn’t even know why I was crying it was okay. And eventually it was. That also gives me good ideas for the kid thing. Since she is now 11 and thus coming into a phase of lots of inexplicable crying.

All this is really helpful.

All the insights and suggestions are absolutely on spot. Appreciated!

@Emma, Minerva – I’ve noticed the “Don’t cry!” thing too. It’s the thing people say when they’re trying to be compassionate, but the message is “you must not express the feeling that you happen to be having at the moment!”

When I lived in Israel … the thing people say there when you’re upset is “It’s nothing. Nothing happened. It’s not a big deal.”

Which, when you’re Israeli, this works on you and calms you down. Sadly, I am Israeli enough for this to work on me too. But there is also now a part of me which rebels against this and says “Stop telling me nothing happened! Something DID happen – it’s why I’m crying!”

@Terry – That’s really beautiful. I have been enjoying your recent posts from the “now I’m allowed to say what I think” shift, and wow.

@Sonia – oh yes, I have to say that “even though” phrases changed everything for me. So much more helpful to allow the crappy and also make room for reframing it. Instead of just rushing in and trying to fix everything. Sigh.

And knowing what to say to kids?! Hard hard hard.

Guys, I’m loving the idea of a sobbing meditation. I kind of think we should just have a big group cry and then sit.

I do the same thing with all my creative abilities. They’re there to “create” right? But I force them to conform (“You will be assimilated!”) and then they’re no longer creative. I’ve been doing the same thing with my blog lately (after reading your series on blog therapy) and getting things off my chest. It has actually been fun and people aren’t as weirded out as I expected.

So thank you for reintroducing me to that old part of myself.

Terry Heaths last blog post..My Point . . . And I Do Have One, Ellen

Possibly the first instance when our bodies receive a different message than our heart.

“”Please don’t express your distress in this way (because I am finding it distressing too).” Deep societal pattern over here….”

Probably deeper than we realize.

My definition of meditation is evolving and is currently defined as “being with myself and my emotions of the present moment, in the present moment“.

Minervas last blog post..Our Privilege of Present Moments

P.S: Really irritated now that CommentLuv won’t show my latest post… about my block. It would be so appropriate.

Johnny B. Truant (See? I’m embracing the B!)s last blog post..Unfortunately, pants

How curiously appropriate too, that this should pop up today.

Joely Blacks last blog post..The littlest voices that speak